BFF!

I got back from Vegas last night after a 12 hour journey. We visited Yosemite National Park, Last Vegas, and the Grand Canyon, with the only drawback being that I barely had enough time to take in the sights! Spent more time on the coach than anything else, although there was another Coach I was happy to spend time in. I'll post pictures later but on to the important stuff first.

Can someone please tell me, WHAT IS UP with Britney and Paris? Why have they suddenly become best friends? I've read about how Paris was the one who reached out to Britney, whether for her own publicity agenda or because she really does like La Spears(and looking at the videos where everyone is calling for Britney, and Paris is carrying her bags for her and opening the car door for her, there is no doubt as to who is the bigger star). Initially I was rather thrilled. But after god knows how many consecutive nights of partying, I don't really know what to think, although after meeting Paris I do like her a lot more than I used to.

Where to begin...
I've been away without internet access so I'm not too sure about the sequence, but this should be the first night(after all that partying post American Music Awards of course).

And then we had
Gotta love Paris and her wonky eye.

On the 3rd day, Britney finally remembered that she was a mother of two and took Sean Preston out on a shopping trip with Aunty Paris, who Sean obviously got very comfortable with, as we can see from the picture.
Sean gets his hands full.

The night beckoned and of course, it was time to party again. These pictures are my favourite of the lot, I do think that Britney looks gorgeous, bar the questionable outfit.

I wonder what Pink thinks of Britney hanging out with one of the 'stupid girls', given that Pink has been very fond of her since they shot the Pepsi commercial together with Beyonce in 2003.

But ah, one stupid girl isn't enough for Brit. Just when we thought she had spent Sunday night at home(which for now is Paris Hilton's mansion apparently), Britney hits the town YET AGAIN with BFF Paris AND LA LOHAN, who apparently suscribes to the mantra, if you can't beat them, join them. Apparently, Britney+Paris were stealing all the attention away from poor Lindsay, who proceeded to accuse Paris of throwing a drink at her and declared that she wouldn't mind hooking up with Fed Ex. But now...
This, my friends, is the EPITOME of the term "unholy trinity". Britney, Paris and Lindsay in the same car. I never thought I'd see the day.

So there you have it. Four nights of partying with the Hollywood 'it' girls. Britney must really enjoy Paris' company because frankly, she is way above ANY of the 'it' girls in terms of celebrity status. She's never needed to party with the hottest people and be seen with the 'in' crowd. In fact, during her 2 year marriage to Federjerk, she was rarely seen with ANY celebrity friends. And now here she is, having fun EVERY night with the Hollywood whores themselves. Oh Britney Britney, I can't say you don't keep me entertained, but to go from K Fed to Paris Hilton...
Eh since I'm at it here's the scoop from People magazine, fresh off the oven.

Whatever else they had to be grateful for this Thanksgiving, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears certainly seemed glad to have each other around.

The pair, who hung out in Las Vegas the previous weekend, hit the clubs together in Los Angeles almost every night over the holiday week and even went shopping in Malibu together with Spears's son Sean Preston in tow on Saturday evening.

They kicked off their girl-time marathon on Tuesday, when Spears, 24, went to a post-American Music Awards party Hilton, 25, hosted at her West Hollywood home. The following night, they were spotted at Teddy's at the Roosevelt Hotel in matching leopard-print outfits. (Spears's estranged husband, Kevin Federline, was hosting an album party across town at Republic the same night.)

On Friday, Hilton left her sister Nicky and friends at the nightclub Les Deux to pick up Spears. The pair stopped at Hyde Lounge before eventually heading back to Les Deux just before close.

Finally, on Saturday night, after their shopping trip with Sean Preston, the duo were back at Hyde partying with the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

"Paris was acting like Britney's boyfriend," says a source who saw them at Hyde on Friday. "She opened doors for her, held her hand, and even had her arm around Britney's lower back. Britney happily accepted Paris' friendly gestures."

LOL at the last paragraph. PARIS and BRITNEY SEX TAPE PLS!
Paris la door opener!

The Superficial

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a shallow person. I think I'd be a lot happier.

Anyway, Mum and I headed into San Fran again on Tuesday, for our tour of the notorious Alcatraz. The business tycoon in me was thinking how much money could be made from tearing down the place and replacing it with posh condominiums. Just throw in a complimentary ferry service and you have a GREAT location with STUNNING views of the city, the bay and the Golden Gate. Of course, given the checkered history of the place, I'm not sure if the gliterati of San Francisco would want to live there. And I suppose tearing down a national monument and replacing it with housing isn't exactly on the cards anyway.


So much history within these four walls. Murders, suicides, escape attempts...

Yesterday, we headed to the suburbs to explore Vally Fair Mall, which is supposed to be one of the best malls in the Bay Area, with a Nordstrom and Macy's. Frankly, I wasn't terribly impressed. I mean, the shops are a hundred times better than those back home and I'd QUEEF if we had anything resembling a Vally Fair in Singapore, but I couldn't find anyting that really caught my attention.

All that changed when I exited the mall and crossed the street to Santana Row, which has boutiques on both sides, housed in the most exquisite buildings. I didn't bother going into any of them(Gucci, Burberry, Diesel etc) but just walking down the street(and browsing at Borders) was enough.




I can imagine aspiring architect CHOO WEI REN saying "Eee so ugly! BYEBYE!" But I think they're nice la. The whole street's got a very faux-European feel.

ANYWAY, it's time for me to sign off. Won't be having internet access for the next few days. We're all leaving for VEGAS baby! And Yosemite National Park which I'm really looking forward to although I doubt we can see much in a few hours. ANITA SARAWAK here I come!!

Nothing In This World

I've got a special post for you, my readers, today. Dad drove us down to San Francisco on Saturday and it was a sight to behold! You hear about how it's a city of hills, and read about the crazy gradients of the streets, but it still doesn't prepare you for the inclines you have to negotiate. That's my attempt to demonstrate how steep the slope is. I know it's rather sala but bear with me...

We did a LOT of walking that day. From Fishermen's Wharf to Chinatown, and finished our day at the Golden Gate Bridge, which is absolutely gorgeous. I walked from one end to the other, listening to My Only Wish This Year and Jump(actually when you look down at the raging sea a few hundred feet below you, this isn't the kind of song you want to be hearing), having that surreal, out-of-body sensation while turning back every now and then to savour the majesty of the city skyline.


ANYWAY on to the juicy stuff. Over the weekend, Britney and Paris stunned Vegas when they partied together and were each other's best friends for the night. It actually isn't that much of a surprise - Britney and Paris did hang out infrequently before she met the "love of her life". I must say, Britney's outfit does make her a look a tad like the Penguin, while Paris is, as usual, well put together. I'm going to Vegas over the Thanksgiving holiday and weekend, and was gushing to Meng about how I would squeal like a PIG if I saw Paris there(I can't even begin to fathom how I would react if I saw Britney).

Well, on Monday Mum and I found our own way to San Fran on *public transport*, with the total journey time there and back taking 3 bloody hours, but it was WELL WORTH IT.

Be careful what you wish for!Paris waves to the Trinity!

Turns out that I didn't have to wait till Vegas, PARIS was in San Francisco! I was walking past Macy's at Union Square and saw this sign in the window.

"Meet Paris Hilton! 20th Nov (Mon) at Noon in the Macy's Cosmetics Department"

I chuckled to myself and tried to figure out when that was. After 5 seconds, "HOLY SHIT THAT'S TODAY!" I looked at my I-Pod (without a watch or mobile, that's how I tell the time) and it was 1310 hours. DAMN IT MISSED HER BY AN HOUR! Then I realised that she may well still be inside so I dashed into Macy's and true enough, behind a crowd of people, was la Hilton herself, a few metres away from me!
Paris hard at work, signing autographs to promote her fragrace.

Paris looks like a DOLL in real life. Her hair is long and blonde, she has an adorable smile, she actually looks really cute. And you know what? She seems like a very nice person! I mean, of course she has to be nice and all when she's meeting her fans at a promotion event, but somehow it felt genuine. She stayed for 2 hours plus, till everyone in the queue had met her and got their stuff signed. It seemd so uncanny, listening to Nothing In This World and Stars Are Blind with the singer right before my eyes, like a vision of Mary or somethig.

I actually got a GREAT picture of Paris on my second shot. I just put the camera WAY above my head and snapped. She happened to turn in my direction, waving with one hand, playing with Tinkerbell(that's the brown one right?) in the other. It was the best shot I had taken. And in typical Simon fashion, I DELETED IT BY ACCIDENT! I'm so used to taking pictures of myself, lamenting at how hideous they are, and proceeding to delete them, that I did the same thing with my money shot of Miss Hilton! =(

They did pose for pictures twice, but for some reason(put it down to my poor picture taking skills la) I was unable to get her looking at the camera.
FACE ME BITCH!

But yeah it was really unexpected and I admit I was starstruck. After the signing was over she started talking to someone and seemed really tired, yawning for all to see. I guess she had yet to recover from all the partying with Brit! I followed her round to the basement. They sealed off one escalator for her to walk down and we took the other one. I felt like I was watching a paparazzi video on TMZ or Splash, just that this time I was IN the video! "WE LOVE YOU PARIS!" She looked up and acknowledged a bunch of teenage girls. By this point, the shades were on, her black pants and dark blue blouse showing off her very slim figure. Actually Paris does look like a model. She's got the proportions. I also got a peek of what she wrote as her autograph. To XXX, you're hot! Love Paris, or something like that la.

I've never been a huge fan of Paris but yesterday was really a memorable experience. And she does seem like a nice person. The best part? I've been within metres of someone who was partying with Britney a couple nights ago!!

Anyway I hope everyone is fine back in Singapore. Meng, Wei Ren, Lena, Tong, Elissa, Gerald, and anyone else who may read this. I really do miss you guys. But I am having a BLAST over here! Haha. Take care everyone!

Hola!

24 hours ago, I was strolling towards the departure gate for flight NW 06 from Changi to Narita. After a surprisingly pleasant flight, a fling on route 101, and lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant, it's 1320 on Friday(I left at 0600 Friday, Singapore time) and I'm rapidly succumbing to jetlag.

But before I take a much needed nap, I would like to recount the past day's journey. Security at Changi gives a whole new meaning to the word paranoid. Yes, I know there have been attempts to blow up planes with some strange concoction of fluid smuggled onboard, but our dear friends at Changi should really be sent to Narita to observe how the Japanese go about dealing with the realities of a post 9/11 world. Unlike say, Ahmad or Minah at Changi, the Japanese are actually *gasps* POLITE when they request to check your luggage. They don't RUMMAGE through your personal items and ask questions that are really none of their business. And they don't ask you to TURN ON your laptop, as if to prove that it isn't some well camouflaged bomb.

Northwest Airlines was actually...good! The aircraft was new, the cabins were spacious, we arrived on schedule, the food was good(bearing in mind that I'm one of those few sick individuals who likes airline food), and the inflight entertainment was decent(they have personal video screens with audio-video on demand, but the selection of movies wasn't exactly stellar - under the 'Critic's Choice' category was one certain 'My Super Ex-Girlfriend'). Perhaps most surprisingly, the cabin crew were competent! They didn't have the same (fake)smiles worn by the Singapore Girls, some weren't exactly in the prime of youth, and some seemed strangely robotic in the way they asked passengers if they wanted tea, but they got the job done. If you called for an attendant he would answer promptly. If you asked for water or a can of apple juice, you would actually get it(the same can't be said for a great way to fly). I'd most certainly fly with Northwest again.

Narita airport was somthing of an anti-climax. Here I was, expecting some futuristic megalopolis with robots scurrying around, and what greeted me was a modest, slighty worn terminal. What is amazing is how quiet it was, even at 2 in the afternoon. The Japanese seem to have something against making noise. They also seem to have a passion for hilarious English slogans, such as the one below. Stop the copy goods! Hai!

I was very blessed to have a window seat on the second leg, as landing at San Francisco International was perhaps the most memorable one I have ever witnessed. A couple hundred miles from the California coast, I looked out at the most spectacular display of clouds I could remember seeing in a long time. The more resolute clouds clung together to form the edges of a steep cliff, while the more whimsical ones floated freely amongst them, in all manner of contours. As we approached the coast, a river of cotton in between two green valleys lay out as far as the eye could see. Hills were visible above the sweeping expanse of cloud, like mystical islands rising out of a misty sea. As we made our final descent into San Francisco airport, plunging through the low-lying clouds, the wings of the aircraft kept disappearing behind a coat of white, as if playing a game of hide and seek.

The ride from the airport to Dad's hotel in Milpitas was also an eye-opener. California is really something else. Everything seems so spread out, space never seems to be much of an issue. You're as likely to see a Bently or a Lincoln Town Car cruising down the 8 lane highway as you are a battered Toyota or Datsun.

Anyway, this will be home for the next couple of weeks. It's pretty decent. Attached toilet, kitchenette and closet(for me to hide in, of course). Oh my pretty pretty MacBook...

Dad's friend drove us a short distance away to this body of suburban shops for lunch. I had Vietnamese beef noodles. Could just as well have been in Footscray in Melbourne. Portions in America are ALWAYS bigger, even when it comes to Vietnamese. Who knows, in 17 days time, I might actually be pudgy.

I really have to go now but there's one more photo I have to post. It was in the same area as the Vietnamese restaurant and reminded me of home. Subway special for US$2.49! Any takers? I half expected to walk in and see Meng and Wei Ren sitting down somewhere, talking, laughing, and having a good time.

So far, California's been great! And I haven't even gone shopping(or indeed, to San Francisco) yet! Yet at the same time, there are things in Singapore that I'm already missing.

PS Meng you're right. All this while I've been bitching about how lousy my phone's camera is. But as you can see from these 4 pictures, the quality is pretty good once you've uploaded them to a computer...

The Big One

Last Friday, Meng and I decided to explore the belly of the beast known as Vivocity once more. We flounced around the beauty department at Tang's, sampling all sorts of fragrances peddled by salespeople who seemed very desperate to make a sale. Granted, salespeople *should* be keen to sell you a product, but those at Tang's Vivocity seem to be cut from a very extreme cloth. One hapless saleslady even hauled out the complimentary trolley bag and was about to demonstrate the wonders of the wheel mechanism before Meng stopped her. Also on sale, these hideous plastic keychains that you could hook onto your waist courtesy of some magnetic system. WOW. Like, that's totally what I've always wanted ya'll! I doubt that poor man will be making a sale anytime soon. Then again, if K Fed can sell 6500 copies of his album, anything's possible really.

There are a profusion of food outlets in Vivocity. Every corner you turn, you'll find something to tempt your palate. Lunch was at this hotdog chain with funky chairs and well, not so funky hotdogs. The bloody thing broke the moment I raised it to my mouth, the sausage and toppings tumbling down in a cascade of grease. Meng rightly observed that while we may import a brand/idea from overseas, the execution and hence results turn out to be decidedly Singaporean more often than not. We had a better experience at Baker's Inn, where I enjoyed the sinfully rich, creamy delight that was my apple strudel. Every now and then, I am grateful that I can pretty much eat anything I want and not have to worry about piling on the pounds, unlike some of my peers.

Headed to the cineplex after brunch for a date with Roddy and Rita, rodents from two different worlds who meet when the former is flushed down the toilet of the plush Kensington residence he calls home and into the sewers of London, where a rodent city very much like a miniature London thrives. It was enjoyable enough I suppose. My favourite line being - You are what the French would call, how to say...'le fruitcake.' Just because baby, just because. I'm not big on the whole animation thing, and from the trailers we saw there look to be quite a number of animated movies headed our way, but I guess once in a while it's nice to watch a pair of rather charming and plucky rodents save the world(as they know it anyway) from catastrophe. Although I would like to know, what happens when the frozen tsunami wave begins to melt? Uh oh.

From rodents to an itch, a seven minute itch to be more precise. Starring the hot(and evidently straight, bummer) Timothy Nga as the wayward boyfriend who has unprotected sex with a stranger and has to face the consequences of his decision. The play did bring up several interesting topics, such as the contract that two people make with each other when they enter a relationship. Do unwritten rules exist or should everything be stated clearly, cards laid out on the table, at the start of a relationship? That's actually a very pertinent question, especially in the gay community where terms such as 'open relationship' and 'committed but play together' are bandied around more frequently. Unfortunately, most of the play seemed more like a Public Service Announcement cum acting workshop, and the whole thing was over in literally seven minutes(ok a little longer than that but I'm trying to make a point here). However, OUR SAMAZOZI SISTA was the first participant in the interactive section! Although he seemed slightly overwhelmed, inadvertently portrayed himself as somewhat slutty, and was generally clueless by the end of the skit, I was SO proud of him! It really isn't easy to go up there in front of a room of strangers and act out a scene you've barely had time to formulate and run through in your head. It was all about being spontaneous and for the first guinea pig of the night, Meng did an admirable job. I applaud your pluck!


We were really hungry and headed to Maxwell for tim sum, egg tarts(that Wei Ren was forcing me to eat) and bean curd ice desert(is that what you call it?) before visiting an old friend we hadn't seen in a while. While Happy wasn't exactly in rude health, it wasn't exactly ailing either. After two jugs of cranberry vodka, multiple flaming lamborghinis and this really cool flame tower thing(that burnt some of Meng's hair in the process), we were high and ready to party! And the music didn't disappoint. Since U Been Gone, Boyfriend, Jump - basically handbag music. We did return a second time and the crowd had thinned considerably, rather like the hair on Prince Charles' head, but it was refreshing to have so much space, to feel the cool chill of the air-conditioning, to be able to move your arms about and not worry about smacking anyone in the face or tits. Miss Lena Chee was WORKIN' IT throughout the night, inflicting her signature urm...half crouch half grind dance move on all 3 of us. The final song in Taboo was most appropriate - Sophie's Take Me Home. Meng was dancing like a loon to the music. It was as if he had been saving all his energy that night for that one song. I won't be with the boys(and bitch) for the next 3 weekends unfortunately, so this last supper was of particular significance.

Sunday night was a sequel to Saturday evening, with the AC gang back in action at Bukit Timah. I don't exactly savour computer games the way I used to, but I don't mind spending a few hours in fantasty land behind a computer screen if that gives me the opportunity to see everyone again. I basicaly floppd at Generals this time round, but next time things are going to be different. I am a veteran after all. You guys ain't seen nothin' yet! Went to KAP for supper after that and had to endure half an hour of straight guy talk which seriously bores the hell out of me more than ever, but at the end of the day it's all worth it.

You know what else is worth it? Crossing the lines that you(or others) draw in life. Sending that damn message. Sending that damn first SMS. Having that first telephone chat. It may be a tad nerve racking initially(especially for someone as insecure as myself), and I really don't know if anything good is going to come out of this, but right now I'm really glad I did. After all, you'll never know if you never try.

YAY

Best Nov 7 EVER! *throws confetti*

GET THEM HEADLINES B!

This is seriously the biggest celebrity divorce of the year. Reese Witherspoon(she with the chin that can cut glass) and Ryan Phillippe filed for seperation (and subsequently divorce) last week. Did you know about that? Well it certainly wasn't on Channel News Asia, or on the CNN.com front page, on the SAME day as the US mid term elections, no less. THE POWER OF BRITNEY!

On a side note, the Federjerk's first solo rap album, Playing With Fire, enjoyed a smashing #151 debut on the Billboard 200 albums chart, selling a whooping 6485 copies in it's first week! That's 6485 reasons to be pro-choice. K Fed might just be the most hated person in America right now. Take a look at the MTV article announcing this week's album sales.

"When they write Kevin Federline's biography, this week might go down as one of the worst ever for the rapper/dancer.

First, his wife Britney Spears filed for divorce Tuesday, requesting custody of the couple's two children. Then, less than 24 hours later, Federline learned where his debut album, Playing With Fire, will open on the Billboard albums chart.

Despite months of promotion, Federline's Fire cracks the Billboard top 200 at #151, with first-week sales reported at about 6,000. According to the latest SoundScan numbers, Playing With Fire — one of 19 new releases to enter this latest sales chart — is the 16th-best-performing debut of the week.

But enough about K-Fed — there are 199 other albums to discuss."

LOL! GOODBYE K FED!

Euphoria!

I had an early night and slept in today, in a desperate bid to repay some of the sleep debt that I've accumulated over the past few months, the manifestations of which can be seen in those horrid dark circles under my eyes. As I leisurely opened the SMS Meng had sent me, I was unprepared for the surprise, excitement, and ultimately elation I would feel. Britney was finally getting divorced! It makes so much sense really. She had the two children she always wanted, she had an iron-clad prenup, it was time to rid herself of that bloodsucking parasitic leech of a husband. A divorce should never be an event to celebrate, but the entire Britney community of fans and the general public at large couldn't be more happy with the dramatic turn of events over the past 24 hours. Britney appeared on the David Letterman Show with a new blonde bob 'do (a la Madonna in Jump), and a trim fit body. To quote CNN, "a surprise appearance on a late-night TV chat show, showing off a new hair cut, a black mini dress and looking sexier than she has for years." That was the calm before the storm. Then the news broke, TMZ posted the legal documents(how in the world did they manage to get their hands on them so quickly?), and soon news outlets the world over were reporting the story. This is a really good foundation to her big comeback in 2007, and her chances of staging her own Emancipation of Mimi have increased considerably now that she's getting divorced from FedEx.

It's so typical of Britney to make waves of her own during some other big, newsworthy event, and giving that event a run for it's money. When she got married in Sep 2004, it was on Emmy night. No surprise then that her divorce was announced on the day of the US mid-term elections. Talk about information overload for me. Anyway, the Democrats have captured the House and look set to seize the Senate by a whisker. I suppose that is a good thing. Despite my alarming (and shameful) right-wing tendencies when it comes to matters like government size, taxes, social equality, the environment, trade and foreign policy, I do consider myself a Democrat at heart. A pretty fucked up Democrat but still a liberal. I think. My only worry is if Congress is under total Democratic hegemony, voters might be more inclined to vote for a Republican President in 2008, and I would much rather see Hilary Clinton as the President than have the Democrats control Congress for the next two years. But hey, can't complain about the election results, although I do have to concur with the view that this election was lost by the Republicans, not won by the Democrats.

On to more personal matters, last Friday was certainly an event for me. My JC classmate's 21st birthday party. I'm going to cut a long story short and just say that I used to be a bastard in JC and two of the victims of my aggression were at the party that night. Thanks to a bottle of vodka and a bottle of cranberry juice, I was able to address the past without giving a damn and apologise to them. Ever heard of the term, 'in vino veritas'? It translates to 'truth in wine', and basically describes me when I'm really high/drunk. I tell the truth. Which is dangerous in a way but is also the perfect opportunity for you to get me to say what really is on my mind. Simply because when I'm higher than heaven, I really do not give a fuck as to how others perceive me. And on some level, I like telling the truth. Which is perhaps the reason why I announced that I was gay to everyone at the table(I'm sure they already heard rumours so it was time for the admission to come from the horse's mouth). I never had a real problem with any of the girls anyway. It was more about standing by Omar, and being AC brothers, and all that bullshit that I had adopted in JC because I was terrified of being out of my comfort zone and oh so insecure. I don't regret anything I said that night. I may not be best buddies with anyone, but at least I know I can see them in the future and say hello and ask how they are getting along and know that I really mean it. It was 2 years overdue.

Wei Wei had the most delectable cake from Haagen-Dazs, chocolate ice cream cake topped with lots of frozen strawberries! If only the ice cream was strawberry too!

by shimmeringicefrost

by shimmeringicefrost

by shimmeringicefrost
Some of the A21 guys. As you can see from the pictures, I had a little too much to drink. And at that point I had barely started! It was good to see Prabs again after such a long time. We used to be quite tight in JC. I wonder what he made of my little announcement. If I ever see him on some lonely street, I'd run for my life! =D

by shimmeringicefrost
Class picture, all...9 out of 19 of us. I'm really glad I had this opportunity to see everyone and bury hatchets. Even though the hangover was so bad the next day all I could do was lie down in bed and swear never to drink excessively again. If any of you are reading this(and I'm writing this with the knowledge that you probably are not, and will never), I meant what I said that night and next time you see me at Cineleisure come up and say hello instead of walking on by.

I'm THRILLED that Britney is single again. AND in contact with Larry Rudolph, her old manager and mentor. Talk about efficient damage control. They cleaned up the mess of the past 2 years in 24 hours!

You lookin' just a little too hard at me

The LATIN GRAMMYS rolled around again and the hottest Latino stars came out in full support of the event. The first picture was taken at a pre-Grammy event the day before, of the triumvirate that dominated the late 90s Latin explosion. Marc Anthony, Ricky Martin, and JENNIFER LYNN LOPEZ NOA JUDD ANTHONY, who looked stunning as usual. Wouldn't it be nice if Jenny was really married to Ricky Martin instead of the human corpse with eye bags the size of Puerto Rico? Imagine the children they would manufacture! But alas, La Lopez is married to the living dead and Risky prefers to remain sexually ambiguous...Ooh let's not forget the second picture, CALIENTE! Jenny Lo(FLAWLESS as always) and Shakira Shakira. I suspect that Ms Hips is wearing killer stilettos, because she's severely vertically challenged yet looks only slighty shorter than J Lo in this picture, who has we ALL know has perfect proportions. My four favourite female singers will ALWAYS be Britney, Madonna, Cher and Jennifer. The 5th changes from time to time(usually Janet, but she's been pissing me off lately).

I've just finished reading Zadie Smith's On Beauty, which truly is a beautiful book that deservedly won this year's Orange Prize. I understand that using the word 'deservedly' is risky when I haven't read the other shortlisted contenders, but Smith has really written a brilliant book, full of humour, political commentary, wit, and the most gorgeous descriptions and depictions of character. She goes from

"A sprawling North London parkland, composed of oaks, willows and chesnuts, yews and sycamores, the beech and the birch; that encompasses the city's highest point and spreads far beyond it; that is so well planted it feels unplanned; that is not the country but is no more a garden than Yellowstone; that has a shade of green for every possible felicitation of light; that paints itself in russets and ambers in the autumn, canary-yellow in the splashy spring; with tickling bush grass to hide teenage lovers and joint smokers, broad oaks for brave men to kiss against, mown meadows for summer ball games. hills for kites, ponds for hippies, an icy lido for old men with strong constituitions, mean llamas for mean children and, for the tourists, a country house, its facade painted white enough for any Hollywood close-up, complete with a tea room, although anything you buy from there should be eaten outside with the grass beneath your toes, sitting under the magnolia tree, letting the white upturned bells of blossoms, blush-pink at their tips, fall all around you."

to

"'Put it in me,' said Victoria. 'Fuck me. Put it in me up to the hilt.'
Very specific. Tentatively Howard reached forward to touch her breasts. She licked his hand and asked him several times if he liked doing what he was doing, to which he could only answer with the obvious affirmative. She then began to tell him just how much he liked it. Tiring a little of the running commentary, Howard moved his hand lower along her belly. She raised it at once like a cat stretching, she held her stomach in - seemed to hold her breath, in fact - and only when he ceased touching her there did she breathe again. He had the sense that every time he touched an area of her body that area was at once moved out of his reach and then returned to his hand a moment later, restyled."

Smith displays her versatility throughout the novel, sometimes having her characters speak in French, at which point I can only attempt to decipher what is being said based on the context of the situation. She isn't afraid to plunge into academic jargon, which renders the common reader (ie yours truly) often baffled. However, this is not so much an annoyance as it is giving the reader an idea of the idiosyncratic neuroses of academia. Nor does she shy away from commenting on the political situation in Haiti, and the tyranny of Jean-Bertrand Aristide. A running theme throughout the novel is the conflict between Liberalism and Conservatism, personifed by the Howard Besley - Montague Kipps feud. By the end of the novel, these characters and their respective families end up tangled amongst each other, along with their personal values and beliefs.

I adore the author's ability to dig into the inner psyche of the human mind, to depict those small thoughts and actions that make you go 'hey, that sounds like me!', while never sounding tedious in her description. A good example - "Levi did his funky limp through the department and out into the main lobby of the Humanities Faculty building. He stopped here to select a tune that would fit the experience of stepping out of this building and facing the freeze outside." I ALWAYS select tunes in certain situations. Like when I'm walking into the gym. What song would give me that FIERCE attitude that I want to present as I walk from the entrance, past the rows of treadmills and such, to wait for the elevator?

The characters in 'On Beauty' are flawed. VERY flawed. Which makes it such an accurate, thoughtful, portrayal of real people living real lives. You could well be reading about the neighbours next door, maybe even your own family. Howard Besley isn't exactly likable - he's selfish, a moral coward, full of excuses and bullshit. Yet by the end of the novel, I found myself rooting for him and Kiki to get back together. Smith leaves it to the reader to conjure their own conclusions from the final scene she presents to them. And in my mind, after several months of soul-searching, Kiki moves back into the house and while she may never forget, she forgives Howard for his mistakes. The family, of course, remains as dysfunctional as ever. Indeed, a book that puts low morals among high ideals. At the end of it all, despite all the feuding and jealousy, this is one novel with a lot of heart.

random rubbish no more

Before I begin, can you guess who this brotha is?

So I decided to change the title of my blog to better reflect what it is about. And random rubbish it ain't. I've also added a rather egoistical description. Loves it!

There are two kinds of people in this world, those who are terrified of aging and liars. Every few years, lines are redrawn time and again - 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40, and last I heard, 60 is the new 40. The baby boomers are still the dominant generation of our time and as they grow older, they have tried to lessen the physical and psychological trauma of aging through plastic surgery, botox injections and mantras such as the example above. Ever wondered why the new 30 or new 40 always seems to be the age that the oldest of the baby boomers actually are? And so the world steps to the beat of the baby boomers once again, mainly because many are still so influential. Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Anna Wintour, Steven Spielberg, Cher, Carly Fiorina, Madonna. All leaders in their respective fields. All boomers. And oh so afraid of growing old. I guarantee you that in 10 years time, 70 will be the new 50.

Growing up and confronting old age is something we all have to do. We gain experience and wisdom with age. The only way to achieve youthful immortality is(ironically) to die young. James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Princess Di - the public's memory of them will always be one of youth and vitality. Now take Liz Taylor. Great beauty in her salad days, but when I mention her now what do you think of? Strange, sunken old woman in a wheelchair with bad makeup and bad hair. Marlon Brando, who died obese and unhappy, a far cry from the image we have of him from A Streetcar Named Desire. Or poor Lauren Bacall, who stuttered through her lines while presenting at the Oscar's this year and mumbled to herself before walking off the stage in a daze(interestingly enough she's the only one of Madonna's Vogue icons who is still alive). Of course, some people do manage to grow old gracefully. Off the top of my head, I can think of Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Hepburn, Jackie O and Jane Fonda(so far at least). But after all is said and done, wouldn't we rather just skip the aging process altogether?

I think the main reason behind this aversion to growing old is the perception that youth is the time to embark on crazy adventures and wild romance, to have a good time. In other words, you really LIVE your life when you are young. Do the same things when you're 40 and everyone will be whispering about that mid-life crisis. At 70 and people will think you senile. Besides at that age, you'll have to be worrying about hair loss and hearing loss and disease and incontinence. Who HAS time to think about enjoying the more hedonistic pleasures of life? Look for sex when you're 60 and people will call you a pedophile, which sadly is the truth. It is an eventual self-defeatist attitude but what can you do about it? We scorn the "dirty old man" who approaches us at the club, painfully aware of the fact that one day, we too will be old men. And who will want us then? This may explain why the fear of aging is perhaps even more acute among gay people. When we grow old, what will happen to us? Will there be anyone there to care for us? Or do we simply drop off the face of the earth, or retreat to a retirement village in the hills of California? I do worry about these things, which may sound ridiculous when you consider that I'm not even 21 yet (and THANK GOD for that), but it is inevitable.

Anyway, that's my rant for today, By the way, FYI, in case you missed the MEMO, the brotha above is none other than MISS TY TY BABY! She went undercover for her talkshow. Speaking of which, you guys should really check out the episode she had with that loony ultra-evangelical spawn of the devil Shirley Phelps Rogers and her two demon daughters. It's in 4 parts on youtube just type in tyra banks show and you can find it somewhere on the second page if I recall correctly. I was really proud of Tyra when she said "I'm gonna burn in hell then." DO YOUR THANG HONEY!