2006 in retrospect

Damn, is it that time of the year already? It's funny that while the past 365 days have gone by in a flash, so much has also changed. I still remember how I spent New Year's Eve a year ago, with Lena at the Singapore River, throwing stones in to see how far they would travel and the resulting ripples left in their wake. I wasn't just unhappy with how the night had turned out(unable to enter any decent club, eventually counting down in Coco Latte - which had nothing to do with my 2005 whatsoever - on a dancefloor that was apparently designed for Lilliputians, abandoned by Shaody, surrounded by strange faces making irritating noises with sundry party accessories), I wasn't pleased with how my year had turned out either. Rejected, desperate, alone.

So when I did write out my New Year resolutions for 2006, it was rather in the spirit of 'there's no way from here but up'. And I am pleased to report that 2006 didn't disappoint. There were moments when I felt like utter shit, but those were few and far between, outweighed by the happy memories and experiences. I shall now proceed to conjure the resolutions I made for 2006 from my journal, let's see how reality measured up to expectations.

*the following are copied word for word from my journal, idiosyncrasies and all, I will comment after each point*

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS FOR 2006
1. Get a boyfriend(one that lasts longer than 88 days please)

WHOA can you say Desperate? Mission accomplished, although it's going to be a lot of hard work and I am going to have to strip away my layers of superficiality if I'm going to make it work.

2. Attain great(if not flawless) skin

Typical Simon statement. Requisite qualification. And oh so superficial. Well, I think my skin has improved somewhat, bar the occasional nasty breakout. This one's a constant work in progess though.

3. Expand companion circle(ie more fags and fag hags, latter being the harder one really)

Desperate. I didn't exactly meet any new fag hags(actually lost one), but all I can say is 'Trinity' and 'Samazozis'. A semi-success then.

4. Learn foreign language(hey all resolutions have to have some unachievable aims right?)

See, I knew it was impossible the moment I wrote it. I can't pronounce my 'R's properly, how the hell am I supposed to learn French?

5. Driving(this one must really do by end year)

Singlish alert! And oops, I took lessons for nearly 2 months before stopping, mainly because of my sloth and the fact that I couldn't understand what the hell the instructor was trying to tell me in his garbled mix of Mandarin and dialect. FLOP resolution.

6. Eye bags/ dark rings removal(again, unattainable)

Cheebye.

7. Get some skill! Learn to cook or sth(I do want to try this)

Guess what bitch, you never did.

8. COMPLETE revamp of room PLS (another MUST)

Another monumental FLOP resoution.

9. Travel as often as possible(Phuket anyone?)

LOL how PROPHETIC! Well I didn't get Phuket(and that story is certainly one of the more dramatic ones this year), but I did get CALIFORNIA and YOSEMITE PARK and LAS VEGAS and the GRAND CANYON. So there.

10. Tan(healthy pls, sunblock yes yes)

More like SPASTIC yes yes. I did try but haven't been doing so recently. Blame the rain.

So...I think I did ok. Could be better but let's leave room for further improvement in 2007 shall we?

Anyway, the party at Nick's place on Friday night was good. The food was actually pretty crap but the drinks made up for it. He had this segment where he gave out awards for 2006. Categories such as Party Queen of the year, Bitch of the year, Newcomer of the year etc. I thought I'd give out some awards of my own.

Every group of friends has to have a bitch(or sometimes more than one), so let's have the Bitch of the year first! And the award goes to *drumroll*

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Meng!

I love him to bits but seriously, this award is well deserved. Just look at his tagboard, 'me and my huge watch? more like me and my huge arms'. Or his riposte to a certain ill-conceived blog entry. Or his telling Lena that if he were straight, he would dump her immediately and find a girlfriend. Or his not-so-subtle implication that I have no fashion sense. And all this just within the past few months. What I find so delicious about Meng's bitchiness is that it's sharp, usually witty, and more often than not hilarious. The rest of us are bitches too but we just can't compete with Queen Bee. Every now and then, we need someone to pull us back to earth and tell it to us like it is.

Party Queen of the year. This one's a no-brainer too.

The title goes to

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Chooksy!

From Paris to Berlin, from Cali to Taboo, he flutters effortlessly from one group to another, socialising with friends, acquaintances and the occasional stranger. What would we do without our choo b to guide us through the social minefield that is the gym, or the crowded parties at clubs and along the beach. Under the strobe of lights, dancing to snooty deep house or progressive trance, the Party Queen reigns over all he surveys!

Next up, fag hag of the year, and this year we have a walkover!

Miss Lena Chee, a hag shared by 3 fags, our village bicycle who will travel to town just to have dinner with us, watch crappy plays with us, accompany us as we embark on random shopping adventures. She's(usually) always there for us, providing shelter to those in need, literally. We've spent 31st Dec-1st Jan together for the past 3 years!

Anyway, I'm sure you 3 already know this by now, but I'll just say it again. For me, this year was defined by you people. The memories are priceless.Thanks. Big changes in 2007 but let's enjoy the time we have together!

And now it's time for the lifetime achievement award, just because I say so. The recipient of this award is

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Tong. For sticking by me the past 6 years, after all that's happened. For all the amusement, joy, pain, laughter - a multitude of feelings - that you've brought into my life. For being able to look past all my outward pretenses and see me for who I am.

I'd also like to give a special mention to Gerald Goh, who has been so generous with his car over the past few months, and so merciful when we play computer games.

2007 is going to herald big changes in our lives. We're all going on to university, some locally and some overseas. I wish everyone who's reading this - Meng, Wei Ren, Lena, Tong, Gerald, Elissa and any others - a great year ahead.

Salut!

Right Through You

I am honestly baffled by the thought process of some people. I changed my phone number. You didn't get it. Big deal! The fact that you ony found out recently says something else doesn't it - how long it's been since you last called. And therein lies my point. Why would you need my number anyway if you have no intention of using it? Does it symbolize someting more? What good is a phone number in your address book that is never dialled? I did bring your number over, in the vain hope that I would need it someday.

I do remember the last time you called me. That was when I knew that our friendship was on its last legs. I was at Cine having dinner with Wei Ren. You called and asked if I wanted to go for the Zouk 10th year anniversary party.

'Isn't he going with you?'
'No. That's why I'm asking you.'

How do you think that felt?

And from that day on, no call. No sms. Not even a message on MSN.

So when we finally do meet, I make mistakes. I am late. I can't look at you. Is it really that hard to figure out why? As Meng said, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones at others.

You scan the credits for your name, and wonder why it's not there.

Album Of the YEAR!

Without a doubt, the best album I've heard all year! No, make that the best album ever! When Christina released Stripped, I thought that was the pinnacle of musical excellence. She was real, gritty, RAW. That album contained some of the most meaningful songs ever recorded in the history of mankind, including the female empowerment anthem that was 'Dirrty' and 'Beautiful', the smash hit about self-validation that captured the zeitgeist of late 2002/early 2003. When America was on the verge of invading Iraq, Christina assured the troops that they were beautiful and that mere words couldn't bring them down.

At the time, I could never fathom any album surpassing Stripped, until Christina released Back To Basics, where she cleaned up her act and showed the world that she had grown into a glamourous, classy woman. Back To Basics was inspired by the music of the '30s and '40s, but I feel that Christina has far surpassed any of the icons of that era. She is truly a legend. To compare her to Ella or Billie would be an insult to the 3 time Grammy winner. The thought of Christina in the recording studio, hitting those notes perfectly and pouring her heart and soul into her songs, is enough to bring tears to my eyes. The product of all that hard work and effort is this masterpiece. It is a seminal piece of artistic expression, comparable only to the works of Van Gough or Beethoven, and maybe the Bible. This is evident from the start, with the first single 'Ain't No Other Man', a Grammy nominated(and sure to win) epic ode to love that became a smash seller on I Tunes and was a top 10 hit on the Billboard Hot 100. Christina's aggressive vocals and the captivating french horn combine to deliver a musical tour de force.

The second single, 'Hurt', deserves a paragraph all to itself. While it has been a slow climber on the airplay charts and hasn't sold very well on I Tunes, everyone should listen to this song because it is a life-changing experience, like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time or witnessing Hurricane Katrina in full force. Christina squeezes every drop of emotion to deliver a stunning performance, which surely ranks up there with Imagine as one of the most influential and inspirational songs of all time. This song may have needed a bit of extra help from her record label in order to reach the top 10 on pop radio, but RCA is really doing a great service to humanity by paying radio stations to increase it's airplay. After listening to Hurt, the terrorists will realise that "I hurt myself by hurting you" and go back to living in peaceful poverty. Both RCA and Christina should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts. In fact, Bush shouldn't worry about sending extra troops to Iraq when he could just send Christina down as an ambassador for America. Once she performs Hurt, the insurgents will either commit suicide or surrender, and Christina will be hailed for solving the grave and deteriorating situation there.

The next single is scheduled to be Candyman, where Christina (notice how she's a first name only icon like Madonna and Cher) turns on her flirty charm to create a '50's inspired, very fast, fun song, "the happiest song on the record". This strategic choice is sure to turn the Back To Basics project around after the lowest common denominator of the general public was unable to appreciate the profound moroseness of Hurt. The album only just passed the 1 million sales mark recently, many months after being released. However, I'm sure that Candyman is going to be Christina's biggest hit ever, the biggest hit of 2007, twice as successful as 'We Belong Together', and will ensure that Back To Basics eventually crosses the 10 million mark to become her best-selling album ever, as it deserves to be.

As if all that isn't enough, the other songs on the album are all worth listening to. All of them are potential singles material. From the bitter retribution track 'FUSS' to 'Still Dirrty', where Christina reminds everyone that she is still capable of being raw and gritty, the indisputable symbol of female empowerment in the 21st century, there are many gems in this treasure trove of an album. Please buy Back To Basics after you read this, Christina needs every sale she can get. Not that sales are important to her. Sales do not matter when you've released an album that is a symbol of your sheer artistic prowess. Who cares that the album has sold disappointingly so far? Not me! All I'm grateful for is that Christina has been sent from up above by the powers that be to bless the world with the gift of her voice and the incontrovertible talent of her songwriting(even though it was Linda Perry who wrote Hurt). However, buying Back To Basics shows Christina that we support the great artistic risks she has taken with this project, and that we recognise her postion as the most talented individual in the history of the music industry.

Merry Christmas to all, and to that BITCH SLUTINA FAGUILERA also known as CUNTY.

Don't You Know That You're TOXIC

Very refreshing interpretation. Adds a whole new dimension to the song.

Entertainment Weekly's Top 5 Worst Albums of 2006

1) Kevin Federline - Playing With Fire
2) Clay Aiken - A Thousand Different Ways
3) Pharrell - In My Mind
4) Rascal Flatts - Me and My Gang
5) Janet Jackson - 20 Y.O.

Finally, a chart where K-Fed is numero uno! And LOL at #2 and #5.

The Trouble With Being Me

So here I am home alone on a Friday, after what was supposed to be a big reunion, with past transgressions forgiven and old ties renewed. Is it not Christmas? A time to bury the hatchet and let bygones be bygones. It was about damn time anyway. Cindy and I had not seen each other since the beginning of the year and Gerald had conviniently arranged for a Christmas season gathering. Tong was unable to join us but I cast my reservations aside. After all, we had been such close friends before and everyone seemed convinced that we would have no problems getting along once we finally got to talking.

And so I left for Orchard feeling somewhat excited. A little anxious, yes, but still enthusiastic about how the day was going to turn out.

It didn't turn out very well.

Unfortunately, I was 45 minutes late. Cindy was promptly waiting for us at 1 and called both of us to request our whereabouts. What really made matters worse was when she called me and realised that I was no longer using my old number - and had not given her the new one. Which I have to say is perfectly understandable given that we had not spoken for so long. I had only given my number to people I was in contact with. Isn't that the point of having someone's mobile number anyway? I don't believe in storing an archive of numbers for the sake of it, when I'm only ever using a dozen or so. When I finally did meet them, Cindy was clearly miffed. To me, her face was a shade of black, expressing displeasure at both my lack of punctuality and the aforementioned circumstance.

I had thought of a number of topics for conversation, mostly revolving around Tong, although those were expended soon enough. Which left us with nothing but the elephant in the room. Now this is the trouble with me - When interacting with someone I have a grievance with, I am unable to put on a fake smile and pretend that nothing went wrong if the issue has not been addressed. Whether on MSN, over the phone, or in person, I have to confront the elephant as least once before he fades away, whether instantly or gradually. No such thing happened here. Not even a word alluding to the source of displeasure. And so I just couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye for more than a few seconds, so that even when we were making trivial conversation, I was either looking at Gerald, down at the table or into the distance. Indeed, I was more or less unable to look at her, period. It felt uncomfortable to do so, knowing that so much had happened and yet gone unaddressed. My irritation shows up very easily in my body language, and while I do consider this seeming inability to be fake a liability, I'm also rather proud of it. I don't get really pissed off very easily but once I do, I can't hide it.

Now here's the thing. Cindy had told Gerald earlier that she would see how our reunion was going and play by ear. If everything was fine and dandy, she would stay with us beyond lunch but if things were not going well, she would leave soon after. Of course, I was unaware of this and even suggested watching a movie, without knowing that Cindy had already decided to leave. So when Tong messaged to ask how things were going, I explained how the game was being played and that she had already left. Which tells you how well today turned out no?

Actually she didn't leave. Shao came to meet her. Which of course was the signal for our hasty departure. I have no desire to drown in the saccharine romance of others.

So how do I feel about all of this? I obviously do care. If I didn't, I wouldn't bother writing about it. But I do wonder if our friendship can ever be revived again. Is it better to let dead dogs lie? Or am I allowing my pride to throw away yet another friendship? One thing's certain. Nothing is going to change unless the elephant is dealt with. Until then, all I can do is wonder.

Janet, Miss Jackson if you're NASTY!

My God. I was talking about the infamous Just A Little While video the other day, and it's even more hilarious than I remembered! From Janet's Cheshire Cat-like smile at the onset, you know it's going to be an unintentionally funny riot! Firstly, with her often diabolical smile and over-defined cheekbones that accentuate her narrow chin, she does resemble the Joker. Don't believe me? Pause the video at 22 seconds and tell me that doesn't look like the female Joker!

Next up at the 29th second, we have a close-up shot of her ridiculous shoes. Who made those things anyway? Fast forward to 00:43. Janet, who for some inexplicable reason is now wearing sunglasses indoors, reclines on a couch with a bunch of strawberries in hand. She then proceeds to eat a strawberry before coyly cooing about "touching on my favourite fru-hoohoohoo-it." Well at least her favourite fruits are strawberries.

As if that wasn't enough, the chorus hits and Janet starts dancing in front of the camera like a woman possessed. Here we have the famous scene of Janet banging her head wildly from side to side while listening to her I-Pod, and lugging a vacuum cleaner to and fro. There's also this wacky moment at the end of 1:16 where she trips and falls. Must be them crazy heels. Doesn't she look like a witch dancing on the balcony?

Now Janet goes all Asian on us, complete with pigtail. She's wearing an outfit that encapsulates those boobies and pulls them upwards, pure evil I tell you. Pause at 2:03. With all those flying saucers behind her, you'd think that Janet is the queen mother of aliens sent to destroy us all. Run for the hills! She's also wearing ridiculously long fake nails. All the better to gouge out your eyes!

The chorus then hits for the second time and Janet is joined by some friends. Together, they make fools of themselves in front of the camera. Notice how she acts all ghetto at 2:24. You ain't foolin' anyone Miss Jackson. At 2:29 we have Janet acting cute and pretending to dance. Someone pass me the barf bag...

To the bridge! Janet is reclining yet again, this time in front of the fireplace, and HELLO, can you say T to the R-A-N-N-Y-licious? Something about those heavily mascaraed lashes, excessive eye liner and crimson eye shadow. Pause at 3:04 and 3:05 for the full on scary effect. Add to this visual scene Janet's incessant hoo hoo-ing in the background and asking if you want to burst her strawberries, and you have the basic plot for Saw 4.

As if all that wasn't enough, Miss Jackson goes into full Tranita Ho mode for the final minute of her song. From the trashy white outfit to the messy blonde wig(who the fuck was her stylist for this video anyway, Britney?), you know this is going to be good. Janet is now in the kitchen and pretends to cook. She half-heartedly uses a ladle to stir an empty pot - couldn't they at least put SOMETHING inside, or is she too giggly and dense to even pretend to cook? - and once again inflicts her body on us. Her boyfriend returns and Janet throws away any pretense of maturity, clapping like a special needs child at 3:47 and taking a poor kitten out from a box, squeezing and then shoving it in front of the camera. That does not look like a happy kitty.

And that's about it. Just A Little While is ART I tell you! I'd like to do a review of Call On Me but I've spent more than enough time on this today. I actually do like Miss Jackson. She made some great music back in the 80s and early 90s. But nowadays she just seems like a bad parody of her former self. Slipping down the slopes of mediocrity towards oblivion. And Janet, while you're on the way down, could you please take that fugly munchkin of a boyfriend with you thanks.

we all have our fantasies

the stuff dreams are made of

The past few days have been fabulous! I was Ian's guest at the launch of SAFE at MOX last Saturday, which was my first real interaction with members of the GBLT community in Singapore, as well as their families and friends. Don't get me wrong, I have been around many gay people in the past 4 years, but it was the first time I was actually at a community gathering, with plenty of lesbians thrown in for good measure. They have a support structure and community of their own - their own websites, clubs, forums and such. It was an enlightening experience. It's refreshing to be at MOX in the evening instead of at 10 PM. I was never really aware of the relatively extensive range of groups and organisations catering to members of our community right here in Singapore, from counselling services to sports and activity clubs.

After dinner at Maxwell and much laughter I bid Ian adieu and took the train down to Habour Front. It was time for ZoukOut with the samazozi sistas!
Doesn't this picture remind you of J Lo's Waiting For Tonight video? I loved the lasers. The way they were layered with the smoke, and subsequently the multitude of colours that radiated from the stage in various patterns.

The crowd control this year was good, we didn't have to wait for long to get the bus to Sentosa and to enter the cordoned off area of the beach where the party was held. Like plants that grow towards sunlight, we eventually found ourselves in the gay section off the main stage, which was full of queens wearing very little, kissing each other, holding hands and prancing around. It was terribly amusing to watch some straight guys who had evidently taken a wrong turn and strayed into our territory. Talk about being a fish out of water. I also briefly saw David Foo and hence Michael there. To be perfectly honest, ZoukOut wasn't as fun as I thought it would be, mainly because I was exhausted! Almost fell asleep while dancing. If you can actually call my zombie-esque movements dancing. I did expect the music to be what it was - deep house, progressive trance etc(what I like to call vocal-less crap), so no disappointments there. I must say that there were plenty of CUTE guys, gay and straight, sprinkled liberally along the beach like casinos on the Strip. We left around 6(sorry guys!) and had breakfast at McDonald's, which is always nice to do if you're awake in the morning. I realised that Meng and Lena both have patches of hair in strange places, which is actually sort of freaky. Especially the mini-beard.

Sunday was a lazy day spent sleeping and eating. Had dinner at my aunt's place. Ho hum.

Woke up bright and early on Monday so I wouldn't be late in meeting Tong and Gerald at Vivocity. Ended up waiting for 45 minutes. I wasn't intending on doing any shopping and so ended up browsing boring merchandise half-heartedly. It has to be said that after returning from the promised land, the shopping here simply doesn't measure up. After a stint at Vivo, Gerald drove us to Marina and then on to Orchard. It's been a LONG TIME since Tong, Gerald and I have been at Orchard together. We had an interesting conversation about politics and where we are on the political spectrum. I would venture that Tong is centre-left, I'm unfortunately centre-right, and Gerald is to the right. Way to the right. The 'I don't care about the war in Iraq because I'm not the one dying. I just want to earn money' kind of right. We do agree that big multinationals help to weed out inefficient local companies. I mean, it's Economics 101 really. Resources should be allocated to where they are most efficient. If Econ minimart has to close down because it is unable to compete with the Cold Storage that has just opened next door, then so be it. Ended the day with delicious Shanghai dim sum at Crystal Jade in Scotts, which Gerald didn't partake in due to an apparent unwillingness to withdraw money from his ATM. At dinner, Tong and I had fun rating him on compassion. I gave a 2 to 3(out of 10) and Tong gave him -5. Outstanding! It's been a really long time since the AC gang actually rocked Orchard together and I enjoyed myself tremendously. There's something about being with the people you've known since like, forever. So many memories. I think the lead poisoning one really stands out, don't you?

Tuesday afternoon rolled around and I found myself back in Orchard with Ian. We were shopping at Far East where he bought this locally designed t-shirt. Also looked for a silver chain to give to his cousin in Brunei who allegedly had similar proportions to me. I completely bought the story and happily helpped try on various chains for size. Headed to Bugis, where he finally settled on a suitable chain and a pair of sunglasses for himself. I realise that not everyone rocks sunglasses as well as I do. I have my high nose bridge and nice face shape to thank for that. I also realise that humilty isn't exactly my strongest suit. Anyway, we eventually found ourselves cuddling on a bench on the roof of Bras Brasah Complex, surrounded on all sides by towering buildings, just the two of us out there under the cloudy sky that threatened to open and unleash a torrent of rain at any time but didn't. It was also there that I first discovered the wonderful properties of his nose. Hmm. Ok moving on. Headed to CityLink for dinner at Thai Express but stopped to take pictures along the way and that was when he told me that the silver chain was actually for me! I can be so naive sometimes. After dinner I rushed off to Cine to meet my sistas who were just about done with gym. The thing about Meng and Wei Ren is that they have a weakness for all manner of snacks and desert. After spending hours at the gym, they have ice cream and then go to Cheers to find something else to munch on. I should really take after them more, maybe then I won't be skinny as a rake. I really don't understand how I can spend 17 days in America and stuff myself almost everyday at various buffets and on big American portions and still only manage to put on 1kg. It's so irritating!

Wednesday morning was spent at le Mayfair, where Jenny was proud to give everyone a tour around her condo, including up to her apartment with the elevator that opens right into her own personal lobby, her children's rooms and her own love nest. After more than a year of working for her, I have to admit that she was a great boss. Probably the best boss I'll ever have. And I like her attitude in general. She'll tell you that without the army, she would be unable to find a job elsewhere, and will bring you into the very heart of her house, from her bedroom to her husband's study. Victor(this really rich Indo-Chinese guy that posted in just before I started to clear leave) was asking me how I found Vegas, and nonchalantly mentioned that he stayed at the Wynn the last time he was there. And I was like, didn't the Wynn just open at the beginning of the year? Turns out he was one of the first few guests. So jealous! After lunch and final(quick) goodbyes, I took the train to City Hall, and plonked myself down at Starbucks, reading, sipping my coffee, and waiting for Ian. It was fun! Like, 2 hours and a hotel room kind of fun, but let's not go into details here. You see, the night before, as he was leaving to catch his train, I let the L word slip. A simple 'love you.' I wasn't prepared to say it for another month, but somehow it just came out, almost organically, just like that. And since it was out, there was really no point in taking it back. Ooh. It's interesting to contrast how I feel now with how I did at the beginning of the year, during those 2 fiascos with Fung Hei and Jeremy, where everything moved too quickly and I got burnt out just as fast. I don't know where we'll be in a year, but I'm going to enjoy the here and now.

And so I found myself firmly back in Cali(gym) on Thursday, trying to work my way back up to pre-Cali(destination) weights, which is going to take a while. Dinner at Cine followed by a stint at Cheers where we spied Jennifer Hudson in the crowd of people outside.

So here I am on Friday at noon, trying to bring an end to this. It's been nearly a week since Saturday and things have been great! I've been around all the people who really matter in my life, that small inner circle, A-list group of friends(and Ian of course). I do wonder if I'm mature enough to handle a relationship this time round. While we're on that topic, this is a song that I really can relate to, not right now but I think all of us have had this feeling at one time or another. Enjoy!

I don't quite know where to start...

So I'm just going to! My original plan was to update this regularly while I was in California(precisely to avoid a situation like this where I've got a plethora of pictures and not enough patience to post every interesting one), but evidently I was unable to. Let's just start from where I left off, before my 4 day jaunt to Yosemite National Park, Vegas and the Grand Canyon.

California is huge. It's bigger than Malaysia, including Sabah and Sarawak. Thus, most of our 4 days was spent on the coach. Which resulted in sort of ridiculous situations where we would drive for 6 hours to spend around an hour in Yosemite(which is several times bigger than friggin' Singapore), and for 8 hours to amble around the cliffs of a small portion of the Grand Canyon for an hour. I suppose that for me, the trip was an appetizer, allowing me a glimpse of what to expect when I return for the main course in the future.

Unfortunately, the Yosemite Falls were running dry that day, and what was supposed to be a majestic waterfall turned out to be a mere trickle. Put it down to bad timing. Still, I got to see another waterfall and El Capitan, the famous giant...rock.


The lake isn't exactly in Yosemite Park(it is along the way tho'), I just added it to be dramatic. To me, water always adds another dimension to scenery.

During this time of year, it gets dark by around 5, which meant that we were unable to see much more of Yosemite by the time we got to the visitor's lodge. Spent the night in Fresno, which of course is the hometown of rap superstar K Fed. They must be so proud...

Most of the second day was spent driving down to Las Vegas, which of course is next door, in Nevada state. By the time we got there, it was already around 4. First impression of Vegas - My my it looks small! I could see the entire Strip from the highway. That impression certainly changed on my second night when I walked up and down half of the Strip, thinking about how bloody long it was and wanting to pee very badly. But that's for later.



Only in Vegas can you find faithful replicas of Venice, Paris, and New York City, all along one stretch of road. Our guide brought us around to some of the free Vegas shows, including the volcano at the Mirage which erupts every hour. It's hard to have a favourite resort, but if I had to choose, it would probably be the Venetian. Call Vegas tacky, cheesy, plastic, just don't accuse them of not going all out for their themes. The Venetian even has lagoons that run through the resort(just like in the real place), and of course gondola rides along those lagoons. I had no time to do so unfortunately. In the first picture, you can see the Wynn, which is the newst(for now) resort in Vegas, just opened this year. That picture was actually taken from my hotel, The Riviera, which used to be on the Vegas resort A-list...around 30 years ago. Still, it is on the Strip(albeit a rather quiet, somewhat seedy portion). LIBERACE helpped to cut the ribbon when they first opened 51 years ago, and a relatively unknown Barbara Streisand opened for him at the resort's lounge. Talk about faded glory days! The interior of the Wynn is GORGEOUS, more on that later.

So on the third day we drove for 8 freaking hours to Arizona and the Grand Canyon. The tour guide says that seeing it for the first time is a life-altering experience. Er...my life wasn't exactly changed, but it is, in a word, indescribable. I shall save the flowerly language and pretentious metaphors for another time and just let the pictures tell the story.


Almost over the edge! In that last picture there, I'm literally on the edge of the cliff! My legs became wobbly when I was posing for that picture! There were some crazy people who took pictures along this very narrorw ridge - one slip and you fall god knows how many feet to your doom, but of course I was too much of a pussy to do so. Typical Simon story number 2 - while I was at the Grand Canyon, I played I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman, again and again and again. Like, repeatedly. For an hour. Isn't that absolutely faggalicious? If you're wondering why, think of the music video for that song. I almost felt like Britney, singing about the uncertainties of life at the crossroads(pun intended) while looking out at the allegedly life-changing landscape before me. Heavy stuff, I tell you. *OK for some reason the cheebye pictures are lopsided but you know what, I'm too tired to figure out how to turn them around*

All too soon, it was back on the coach for another 8 hour ride back to Sin City. Since it was my final night in Vegas, and the exploration of the previous night was rather unsatisfactory, I decided to head out for a final fling with the Strip. Caesar's Palace is HUGE. Like seriously, huge. And the lake in front of the Bellagio is massive! I'm very fond of the Bellagio fountains, because Britney performed I'm A Slave 4 U for the Billboard Music Awards in those fountains back in 2001, and I had expected to be impressed. But the scale of the lake almost made my jaw drop. As I said, you can't fault them for not really going all out when building resorts.



Every 15 minutes at night, the Bellagio fountains get to work, shooting streams of water up in tandem with music. It's sorta like the musical fountains in Sentosa, only on a much grander and elegant scale. After the Venetian and the Wynn, the Bellagio is probably my favourite resort in Vegas. I didn't get to see those at the south end of the Strip such as MGM Grand(which I hear is somewhat souless), Las Vegas New York(I've already been to the real deal so yeah) and the Luxor(tacky Egyptian theme complete with pyramid and Sphinx), but I think it's safe to say that those are my 3 favourites. So far. The amazing thing about Las Vegas is that there's still plenty of construction going on, on and off the Strip. Just on the Strip alone, there's a new resort being built across the road from the Venetian, the Wynn is ALREADY expanding(it just opened this year remember?), and the Stardust Hotel opposite the Riviera is being torn down. Out with the old, in with the new.

We strolled through the Wynn, and my dad was like 'Let's have dinner. Where's the food court?' I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It's GORGEOUS.

Ok OF COURSE that last picture isn't from the Wynn but I thought Meng might find it interesting. After our tour of the Wynn, I told my dad that it was a motivation for me to work hard and get a job that pays me bushels of money so I can go back and actually stay there instead of some resort that saw it's best days before I was born.

One more thing about Vegas - the casinos are the core of most resorts. Don't be fooled by the free shows, or the shopping. Gambling is still the main business. The casinos aren't like in a distinct area with a guard outside checking your ID and charging you $100 before you go in. They're part of the resort, usually on the ground floor(easy entrance you see), and sometimes you have to walk through them to get to the hotel lobby, or the food court. Slot machines, tables, it's all there, as far as the eye can see. I didn't gamble because 1)I don't like to lose money and 2)I'm not of legal age yet anyways, but I was impressed. Singapore should learn something from this. If you want to have a casino, go all out and have one, and not hide it under the "intergrated resort" label, and come up with all sorts of red tape and restrictions and regulations(although that's what Singapore does best no?) That's the problem with Singapore. We want to do big things but lack the guts to really go all the way. It's bullshit. But hey, what can I do?

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll post more pictures later. We suffered for 11 hours on the final day, driving back from Vegas to good ol' Milpitas, a suburb somewhere near San Jose that was home for most of my 17 days in America. I went to Stanford(for the shopping center, duh), and of course back to San Francisco, including the Castro. Stay tuned for all that sometime in the future!