Lately

I’ve been a cauldron of conflicting, oxymoronic feelings. Hope, despair, solitude, peace. With hope comes despondency over not having the motivation to fulfill those ambitions. Loneliness, which is never a condition I appreciate, does bring with it a sort of tranquility. Am I content with this state? Not really. But am I desperate to remove myself from this milieu? Not really.

V for Vendetta last Saturday didn’t disappoint. The twist concerning Evie’s incarceration and torture was rather refreshing. And twisted. What kind of sick fuck does that? Let’s not even start on V’s freaky shrine to that lesbian actress who managed to write her memoirs on toilet paper. So it isn’t exactly very realistic. Big deal. It was still a movie that made you think. And I’m ALL for those kind of movies these days. Enough mindless drivel, although like fast food, it is a guilty pleasure once in a while. Lest you think Simon’s going all culture-snob on you, don’t worry, I still LOVE Britney. And Jenny Lo. And commercial pop music. Haha.

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

I wrote in my journal the other day that from that moment on, I would make every moment count. I wouldn’t waste precious time stoning in front of the computer or wandering around Borders or HMV with no real purpose. Guess where I found myself on Tuesday? Wandering about Borders. But I did manage to read Teri Hatcher’s fabulous and courageous interview with Vanity Fair in it’s entirety, thus saving me $12. I’m so cheap! But that doesn’t count as wasting time does it? I’m in one of those obsessive phases now, and this time the target’s La Hatcher. I think she’s hot tamale.

I got a call today from SMU. Have an interview with them on the last day of March, which is a Friday. Oh how I wish they had scheduled it for Monday or Thursday! I’m trying to see how many weeks I can skip Life Activity (which is this really asinine SAF term that basically means PE for us clerks and such). I mean, I have my own gym sessions and they are sufficient for my fitness, thank you very much. Anyway. They’re every Monday and Thursday and I haven’t gone for one this whole year. I actually can’t remember the last time I graced Life Activity! Probably before my Bangkok trip. Haha. But now I’ll have to waste one day of off on a Friday, which has no Life Activity, is the shortest working day of the week, and reeks of that blissful weekend scent. WORST DAY TO TAKE OFF!

Oh well. I shouldn’t complain about army life. I have it a lot, and I mean a LOT better than most other people out there. Seriously I do. I know it’s an Asian value or something to be modest and self-depreciating, but I have it SO MUCH BETTER than most of you. And I’m going to be SO MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL than most of you too. Sorry. I know, I know, truth hurts.

Gerald downgraded to C9L2. Lucky Burdstard! He’s a stellar example of that old mantra (and Aaliyah song), Try Again. If at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again. You can dust it off and try again. Too bad Aaliyah wasn’t able to “try again”, so to speak. Ok ok I know that’s a horrible thing to say. Since we’re in the mood for not being politically correct, can I just add that Miss Deaf Texas being killed by a train while walking along the train tracks is just absolutely and utterly hilarious on so many levels. Can you imagine them yelling and hollering at her, sounding the horn, and she being deaf, unaware of the commotion and her impending doom, humming to herself about how pretty she is and of the charity she is going to do. It’s just hysterically funny if you think about it. And terribly ironic. Sorry. Again.

I’m in a REALLY strange mood now. Best be going.

And I don't care what ANYONE says. This is just Perfection. With a capital P.

"Loook at her haaaair!" Donatella playing the role of Mamasan!

The One Who Ran

Dark pleasures, secrets that remain untold.
Subservience that wasn't subservient.
We took it and ran,
Glad to have found what we thought was bliss.

What I thought was bliss.
Momentarily.

And then I awoke, to find myself back
in that familar territory, which I had marked
with the past. The past, that doesn't ever seem to be forgotten.

Confusion, reigns.
I slowly sink back into nonchalance.

Oh What The Hell

Since I'm actually blogging now, might as well update on the many movies I've watched recently.

Starting with Syriana. Politics. Globalisation. Terrorism. Espionage. Everything you would expect from a socially-conscious movie and very relevant to contemporary times. In fact, the movie draws inspiration from various events that have occurred, recently and otherwise. Take the fuss over CNOOC's bid for Unocal. US support for the Shah in the 70s. Islamic fanaticism. You can see traces of all these in the movie. It's very compelling although many times I found myself struggling to fully grasp everything that was going on. My fault my fault.

Capote. Excellent. Although some may find it lacking any interesting developments. Worth seeing just for Philip Seymour Hoffman's Oscar winning performance. I felt he did a great job. Although I suppose you could argue that these type of unique, sui generis of a character roles are blatantly Oscar bait. But make no mistake, it does require a great deal of technical acting ability. The murder scenes were rather gruesome, and the hanging scene was downright unsettling. It just got under your skin and stayed there. For me, it was all the more enjoyable because I got to see HARPER LEE. She of To Kill A Mockingbird fame of course. The novel even got several mentions in the movie. I suppose it's because that's the only thing Harper is famous for. So sad.

Munich. Wow. This one was good. It didn't feel like 3 hours. Some rather violent scenes. Especially when they killed that female agent on her boat in Holland. They shot these darts into her body and I thought they were more like tranquilizers because she didn't die immediately and just seemed to be losing conciousness (as opposed to actually dying la). And then she sits down on her sofa quite a distance away from where she is shot, and my gosh, the blood just starts spilling out uncontrollably. It's so vivid. I think how they ended the movie with a close-up on Downtown Manhattan and the newly-completed World Trade Centre was very poignant. Were the Israelis justified in assasinating those responsible for terrorism, whether related to Black September or not? Yes. You know me, when it comes to matters like this, I'm very right-wing, very pro-Bush, hate me all you want, too fucking bad.

And finally, Mrs Henderson Present's. It's very different from the other 3 movies. Mostly light-hearted, with tinges of drama here and there. I loved the first part where she complained about being a widow because "I have to keep smiling. Back in India, there were always people to look down on." And in response to her friend's suggestion that she take up embroidery, "I'd rather drink INK!" LOL. Judi Dench is just lovely, although this role is very tailored for her. It's just the type of role you'd expect her to act well. And she does it brilliantly. The costumes are great and the whole mood of the movie, even during the Blitz, is just very heart-warming.

There you have it. 4 brilliant movies. All Oscar nominated. Two winners. I have yet to see Transamerica though. Sigh. Felicity Huffman rocks and she should have won the Oscar over she with the chin who can cut glass. Hmph

Oops!...I Did It Again

How apt. Just one month after the last one. Or slightly over a month. On to the next dish then. But really, this isn't how I want to be living my life. I suppose I haven't found the right one. Will I ever? Who knows. And I suppose that as much as I detest being single and lonely, part of me does revel in what I'd like to call the thrill of the hunt. It can be fun. That fluttering feeling in your stomach, the endless waiting for just one message or a call, the dropping of hints and flirting, hoping against hope that he feels the same. So Simon, the next time you're lonely and feel unloved, don't you dare bitch or whine or complain, because you had your chance to be with someone, or should I say chances to be with people. And you know what? It didn't feel all that great in the end. Love is overrated.