Welcome to my PITY PARTY

I don't care. No one reads this anyway so I'm just gonna throw a BALL of a pity party. I HATE being alone. Was supposed to meet Jon at Marina but he CANCELLED on me at the last minute. Which is FINE really. I decided to head to Orchard. Hung out at all the usual spots-Borders, Kino etc. What REALLY frusrated me was when I tried to find dinner. It's FUCKING impossible to find dinner when you're all alone in Singapore! Everywhere is so damn crowded! I can't wait for some empty table and then leave my bags there to reserve it because some fucker would just steal it! FUCK. I HATE BEING ALONE! So in the end I settle for fucking MacDonalds', I ALWAYS eat fast food when I'm alone. URGH. I realise that I need more gal pals. I mean, Cindy and Lena are great but they're always so damn busy. I'm very not stereotype when it comes to this. I have like hardly any fag hags la. Fuck. Do you know why? BECAUSE OF FUCKING JC. While other people spent their JC live making friends, I bitched and whined and moaned and complained about the shithole I was in. Do you know why? Because it WAS a shithole. I did like some of the girls from 03A21 (actually I have no problem with most of them la, all very decent people), but I was too busy being a bloody bitch and elitist snob to make real friends. And then of course let's not forget how the fucking guys basically cut off Omar and myself, but I digress...

I regret so much la. And then when I saw those two cute and obviously homo boys at the Lido/Borders traffic junction, laughing and having a good time, that was like the fucking last straw. WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE THAT??? I'm nearly FUCKING 20, have no decent(reliable,stable etc) social life to speak of, have never been in love. FUCK! And then when I do meet people I like, why is it that NONE of them FUCKING like me? I'm so pissed off I tell you. With myself mostly. I'm sorry for being a disappointment. I really am. I hate to disappoint and evidently I have done so several times this year. Why must I have those FUCKING genes. Why can't I be FUCKING filthy rich??? URGH.

I can't take this shit la. Fucking dead-end. This should be the bloody prime of my life and what am I doing? I'm WANDERING AROUND TOWN BY MYSELF WITH NO PURPOSE, UNABLE TO EAT DINNER BECAUSE I AM ALONE, AND LOOKING AT ALL THESE PEOPLE WITH THEIR FRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS/GIRLSFRIENDS.

And then there I am. With my two shopping bags.

Alone.