Two Zero Zero One

Back to the series. I do intend to finish it. 2001 was a sort of rebirth in terms of my (tiny) social circle. It was also the year I dropped the spectacles and started wearing contacts religiously from morning till night (until the eye infection of 2003 that is). I remember walking into 3.11 Elisha, seeing Daniel Lee and saying "Oh you're in my class?", and his reply was "You're in MY class?". Classmates, again. I found a seat next to Kenneth Lwi and Keith Oh and Li En were sitting behind us if memory serves me correctly. They were talking about wrestling, and I turned back to contribute my 2 cent's worth. Very random. LOL. Hence the blog name -__-

I was fairly nervous going into a new environment really. I don't adapt to change easily. In fact, I was supposed to go to 3.13, but changed my subject combi in the desperate hope of joining Siow et al in 3.12. Of course with my luck I ended up in 3.11 but I guess it's all worked out for the best now. Or has it?

Venu Rao. My gosh. The accent was just a killer. We had the crappiest triple science teachers (and come on let's be honest that's why they were ALL changed in Sec 4). Samson Tan, Toh Siew Tee, and Terrance Ng, the unholy trinity indeed. Keith Tan for E Math. Mohan clone(and sister-in-law) Krishnan "shrill voice" Raj for English. What a bunch. Krishnan always graded me rather poorly and I was never happy about that. I take great PRIDE in the standard of my English and after being feted by Mohan for 2 years and being the 'English Patient' in primary school, the average grades that she threw at me were just UNACCEPTABLE. But then I guess it was a FORESHADOWING of the disaster that was the 'O's.

In the second week of school we were packed off to Chiang Mai. It was a big deal back then, ACS (I) sending ALL Secondary 3 students to either Chiang Mai or Kunming to experience that wonderful thing, learning outside of the classroom. I remember taking a lift from Paul Ho to the airport, being LATE, and having his parents THREATEN to leave without me. What a lovely bunch of people they are. Our flight was the one that made the stopover in Phuket. So it was Singapore to Bangkok via Phuket and then on to another plane that brought us to Chiang Mai. We stayed at this sprawling, half completed residence called the Prem Centre. No there weren't any transvestites roaming inside the compound (40 joke don't ask). It was a big place, walking from one end to the other was just a torture. I remember getting scolded on the first morning by prison warden Azman Haron for being late for morning roll call. Ok it wasn't called 'roll call'(or was it?) but since I'm in the army right now I guess it would be an appropriate term.

First day was really funny actually. It was the first time I really NOTICED Gerald Goh. I did talk to him in Secondary 1 and 2 (we were in the same CCA) but he never really made much of an impression on me. You see, the Prem Centre was divided into clusters and each cluster had like 4 floors. Each floor had 2 apartments which contained several rooms. So there were like 8 of us in one apartment. I wanted to take the room with the SINGLE bed (being the anti-social person I am), but Gerald RUDELY said that it was HE who would be sleeping in that room. I was very displeased. If I want something I expect to get it. What a Huang wants, a Huang gets. *cringes* I suppose it's really no big surprise that Gerald wanted the room to himself. #1 he is even more anti-social than me. #2 he probably wanted to spare the rest of us from his damn snoring, being the CONSIDERATE person that he is. So I had to share a room with Joshua Nair and urm...someone else. Can't really recall.

On hindsight Chiang Mai was quite a blast. It also holds the distinction of being the FIRST time I noticed tongweichuen, my first memory of the bugger. We were riding elephants, and Tong was on the elephant behind me. Now it was 2 people to one elephant, and I'm not qutie sure who Tong was sitting with but I remember him talking really LOUDLY to that person. He was saying how he used to compete with Siow for top student in Chinese (REALLY ah Tong?) back in the day and I also remember hearing Kang Wei's name being mentioned. And I was thinking, "why is this fool talking about MY friends?". Of course at that time I had no idea that he had known them WAY before I did and that this "fool" would one day become the closest thing I have to a best friend.

Enough of the mush. You know what was really hilarious, the way *some* individuals fawned at the wrinkled feet of dear old Fanny. She'd flown to Chiang Mai on business class (but of COURSE do you expect her to sit with NORMAL people and eat from NORMAL plates like the rest of us?), and reached the Prem Centre at night. This is the really funny part. We were all made to gather at the point where she would be alighting, like subjects awaiting the arrival of her ROYAL majesty. When the bus arrived someone was PROMPTLY sent up to carry her luggage down for her. She emerged to a chorus of cheers and adoration, as everyone was made to break into applause. Ok I'm not EXACTLY sure about the APPLAUSE part (it HAS been nearly 5 years), but the main idea is there. What I DO remember VIVIDLY though was another incident. We were riding down river and I had to share a raft with Fanny, Samson, Venu and some others because well, I was one of the last few and there weren't rafts left for me(TYPICAL I KNOW). My GOSH the FAWNING was just terrible la. The Queen was sitting down of course (SURELY you don't expect HER to steer the raft) and remarked that she was afraid she'd fall into the river. Venu(or is it Samson) proceeds to assure her that he(Venu) would hold her if need be, to ensure that she wouldn't fall in. My gosh does that sentence sound clunky? But seriously...my goodness I hope I never have to suck up to my boss like that in the future. And Samson takes it a step further and COMPLIMENTS Fanny on what a NICE scarf she is wearing! I mean what the HELL does HE know about bloody SCARVES?? And she's like "Oh thank you." Now you know why he could leave AC to pursue his ambitions and then return a few years later after said ventures failed miserably (ok that was a joke...a half joke).

Chiang Mai will also always be remembered for the damn Ox-cart ride that scared the shit out of me. It was damn rickety but moving damn quickly. Felt like being on a rollercoaster. But I guess rickety and fast is better than stuffy and slow, which was what our EIGHT hour bus ride to and from the geyser was. The bloody thing was near the border with fucking Burma la. A lot of people were dying. I remember feeling very lonely on that damn bus ride. At one of the stopovers, Tongo pulled Marcus back from crossing the road while a bus zoomed by. To this day, he credits himself with saving his life(for better or worse). The Dara Academy visit (obviously) bored me to bits. What else...Oh yes I was unceremoniously stripped to my underwear in Caleb's apartment and had my trousers thrown down to the first floor. I had to go down in my damn underwear and whimper back to my own room. I remember Nair thinking I was very upset. I can't remember if I was. GOSH Chiang Mai is taking up much more space than it should. There was ping pong at that pathetic shop overlooking the lake but I hardly got the chance to play as it was always swarming with people. On our last night we got to release laterns into the sky. It SHOULD have felt surreal but somehow when I think about it now I didn't feel that way back then. It was probably very cold. That place is like, so cold in the mornings and nights and then in the afternoons it gets really hot. Oh who can forget the night market they brought us to, where Caleb bargained with the transvestite over the price of a handbag to the point where he might as well have just taken it for free. Terrible. Being the faux arrogant snob that I am, I refused to buy anything from there as they were from a 'pasar malam' and thus so unglam. Besides I didn't (and still don't) buy fake goods and/or no brand items. So THERE.

Oh my apartment had this stupid 'get together' on one of the nights where we intended to open those bottles of urm...strawberry juice? and just sit around and chit chat. And of course there was some unhappiness when Gerald Goh chose to skip the little event. I wonder where he was really. Oh yeah who can forget the harrowing memory of seeing Fu Lei naked. URGH. I was leaving the apartment amd realised Fu Lei was still inside so I had to pass him the keys. And when I went into his room to give them to him I saw him comming out of the shower with FOAM and WITHOUT clothes. My goodness. That should have actually straightened me out leh. It was disgusting. Breakfast at the Prem Centre was always Western. Cold, soggy Western. I sat with the main group of people, Caleb, Keith etc etc. Oh the tour of the old walled city was rather nice. Quaint little place. But it has NOTHING for an URBAN, CHIC, SOPHISTICATED individual such as myself.

Hai...I have said enough about Chiang Mai I think. On our way to the airport we had quite a long stop at this really run-down shopping centre and me Michael and Henry had pizza. We explored Don Muang airport too while waiting to change planes back to Singapore. I remember saying 'bye' to Nair at the baggae claim and then seeing Nair magically appear at the welcome area outside. Of course that was just the twin effect. Chiang Mai. Goot experience. But now it's time to move on to the rest of this rocking year.

Since I was in Higher Chinese (yes laugh all you want), we attended seperate lessons on the blue level. That was probably how I started mixing around with Tong actually. I used to sit in the second row next to Kenneth but then one fine day I made the switch and started sitting in the last row with Tong. It was rather symbolic no? Chinese lessons were so terribly painful to sit through. That and DOUBLE period A Math. If I'm not wrong that was also the year AC started this bizzare Week A, Week B timetable and each period was extended to 40 mibutes. So tell me HOW painful is 1 hour and fucking 20 minutes of A Math? Haha I used to fail ALL my chinese tests miserably really. I had no concept of shame or letting down Chong Koi Choy who was really a nice teacher. I recall cheating in the test once by placing a piece of paper with all the words scribbled on it into my pencil box. And Chong Koi Choy actually caught me! He took the paper out of my pencil box but it didn't blow up thank goodness. Haha there was another time the normal Chinese people had some special talk or something and naturally we higher chinese people took it upon ourselves not to go down for lessons since our fellow classmates didn't have to. Darren saw Chong downstairs and HAD to wave at him. We all ran into the classroom, locked the door, turned off the lights, and hid. AND HE REALLY CAME UP! When he realised what was going on he started banging on the classroom door like a madman. We were PETRIFIED la. I know I was. But in the end when we did go down he didn't really make an issue of it either. Haha some good shit man. In the end we were all forced to drop HCL so as not to pull down the average =D

The other thorn in my flesh during this period was MATH, especially A Math. Venu was a good A Math teacher but somehow my learning capacity when it came to that subject was probably close to zero. We (me and Tong naturally) had to attend remedial every Wednesday and I remember always waltzing in late, with sweets, drinks whatever. It didn't matter becasue Tong was there to take all the scoldings from Venu! The two of us would go into his class really late and Venu would be like "Vei Chuan vhy are you so LATE? You do not take this seriously?" And then when he saw me come in after Tong he'd either ignore me or go "Oh Simon you're here. Good." So yeah Tongie was like my shield for A Math. Lalala.

Toh Tissue struck me as being a very sad, miserable old lady who talked to plants (she admitted that much herself). She was usually ok but when she did nag, my gosh the old shrivelled bitch was such a nuisance. She used to scold us for looking at the displays in the Bio lab...you know the shit scary ones like the fetus and dead animals kept in jars. Rumor has it that the fetus was her's. Hahaha. I mean SERIOUSLY what's the POINT of putting them there if you're going to scold students for looking at them? Haggard bitch. And I recall the time her son came to see her and she was like "Why can't I talk to my son" or something and blabbering about how her son was a doctor etc etc. I know she's been teaching in AC for donkey years but hey it doesn't show in the quality of her teaching. Speaking of people teaching in AC for donkey years, let's talk a bit about Lao Ying.

2001 was the glorious year that the SAC was born. For the ignorant, our canteen(which was called a refactory) was finally air-conditioned. The old blue benches and long tables went out and in came the round coffee house tables and orange and blue chairs. There was also 'bar seating' with those really high metal stools. They put up quite a few televisions and for a period of time there were sofas and a piano too (I think the piano's still there). Of course this no longer seemed like a mere refactory and thus the 'Student Activities' Centre' was born. Blah. The shops got really funny names too. We suggested Mud Hut for one of the Malays stores. Get it? Ok nevermind I don't wanna be brought to court for racism. There was The West Wing which sold chicken rice and Western food, Just For Mee which sold noodles (my God whoever came up with that needs to be shot), Oasis and FRUITTI TUTTI for drinks and desert, Mama Mia for Italian, Sister Act for the rice and food store, Kampong Delights for Muslim food, and a few others whose names I cannot remember. I do remember the Yong Tao Foo store with the ancient Aunty who would charge random prices and then give us lots of that slimy chicken to compensate (tho' it was LOVELY) and the other noodles shop which always had ridiculously long queues on the days it sold Prawn Mee. I loved the Wanton from there. Their plates were GREEN. I can't remember what lame name they had though. Poor vendors didn't have a say in what their stores were called. Oh my I have veered of topic SOMEWHAT. This is about Ying isn't it? Well Ying was in charge of the SAC and he would always scold us for combining tables (well one table could only seat 4-5 people so that was understandable behaviour) and not putting them back to their original arrangement, and for not returning our bowls and utensils after eating. And I recall once he got into such a foul mood that he just began scolding a group of us who were sitting down. The senile fool even stood up on the chair and went "You all are PIGS...PIGS! Your parents blahblahblah..." I couldn't be arsed to listen to what he was saying. When the bell rang we just stood up and walked out with him still ranting and raving on the chair like a bloody lunatic. That was just so funny.

Of course 2001 was also the start of my year long cold war with Michael. I did it to prove to Siow how much of a friend he was to me. To the point where I was willing to cut off my other friendships. Siow had a problem with me and Michael being friends. I dunno why. And I guess I was just sick of Michael (like how I got so sick of Jef in 2004). So one fine day in Term 3 when I walked past Michael along the corridor and he called me wanting to tell me something, I simply ignored him. Didn't turn back. And the rest is history really. One year of silence broken only by insults. Stupid. But kindda funny too now that I think about it. And obviously I didn't learn my lesson from that one.

Gerald Goh. Oh dear. We were sworn enemies for most of Secondary School really. I began to make fun of him like everyone else did. You see, apparently in Sec 2 one of his classmates observed that he had a hooked nose and began to call him 'parrot'. It caught on like the flu and they then decided that it was too long and shortened it to 'bird'. So naturally, I began to call him Bird too. But somehow he always took more offense when I made fun of him for some reason. I DID insult him quite a bit back in those days, especially regarding his looks. And some of those jokes were priceless. How do you make a Gerald doll? Take a Barbie and smash her head with a hammer. There was also the one about how his mum removed all mirrors from his house after he was born. And how her eyes became the way they are after looking at him for the first time. But looking back now I did go terribly overboard and if I was in his shoes I would have been very hurt. I mean let's face it I'm not exactly Don Juan and even if I was that doesn't give me a right to say some of the things I did. Sure Gerald did PISS me off sometimes and he wasn't exactly very nice to me either but I do regret my actions. So if you're reading this you fucker, I'm really sorry for all those harsh words so many years ago. And well I don't find you as urm...ugly as I did back then. Just GROOM yourself a bit more. A bit of SHAVING would do you some good you know. Haha. It's all cool now.

What else what else. Jeff didn't make much of an impression of me back in Sec 3 so we'll save him for 2002. Oh yes I do recall that a group of us went to RGS to support AC in a debate against RI instead of going down to the PA for rugby. And we lost the debate. But I remember how we said "It's ok we won rugby anyway, that's more important." And it is really, it is. Someone got an SMS and it spread around pretty fast. We walked to Orchard after that and had CS at Cine where I remember Tong not playing but just observing me play. We were on friendly terms with each other by then. I boasted that I was a "CS Veteran"...which I am la but they'll never let me hear the last of it now.

Terrance Ng was seriously a bad Chemistry teacher. I mean, the school acknowlegded as much when they made him teach lower Sec science the following year. He used to give out these worksheets with many blanks and we were supposed to listen to his boring lesson and fill in the blanks as he did so on the OHP. My god talk about horrible teaching methods. I was so put off Chemistry that I basically knew next to nothing once we got into more complex stuff like moles and balancing chemical equations. I would fail most of my tests miserably, and once I even handed in a blank piece of paper which got me into a little trouble after that. Terrance took me out of the classroom and talked to me and I was really giving him so much attitude, saying that I didn't need his help and all. Now I'm sure he's a nice guy but really at that time his teaching of Chemistry was just a disgrace, I won't pretend otherwise now. Samson was not much better. What was really funny was how he tried to smoke Alistair Chew and Fanny during his lesson obeservation. He set up this laser beam thing and proceeded to blow power from his palms into the path of the laser to demonstrate the properties of...ok I can't remember. But seriously it was hilarious becuase we could ALL tell that he was just TRYING SO HARD. Lesson observations are usually like that. The not-so-good teachers suddenly put so much more effort into their lessons because they know they have to make up for lack of substance. That was what Samson was doing as he furiously blew at the poweder in his palms like a damn maniac. Warner was complaning that all the powder fell on his bag! LOL

I like Keith Tan. He was a good teacher who did his best to help out the weaker students. Tong hated him at first but after Keith Tan helpped him out with his Math in 2002 (when he wasn't even teaching us any longer), he changed his tune.

Krishnan Raj just had such a loud and piercing voice. Tong used to joke about how her poor son must be half-deaf having to listen to her wake him up in the mornings. I did show her quite a bit of attitude at times, dismissing some of the work she gave us as being beneath me (and I told her as much), but I guess in the end there are no hard feelings.

So yea in conclusion, 2001 was indeed a watershed year for me in many ways, mainly owing to the fact that the friendships I consider my closest now were forged back then. My life would have turned out very differently had I gone to 3.12 or 3.13. I would have probably gone to ACJC had I gone to .12. And I would CERTAINLY be in the Michael Ang posse now had I gone to .13. And of course that would have meant a very very different life from the one I'm leading now. As unhappy with my current state of affairs, I really don't think much about that, and certainly don't harbour much regret. I don't really.