Where I'm At

Caveat: If this reads like something from lebullring, pardon me, I just read Meng's latest...

Life doesn't always go the way you want it to. You can spend hours dreaming, pondering, planning, scheming, wishing, hoping, trying, crying... but I think at some point fate does take its course. And when it does you're left feeling rather helpless. Useless, even.

But at least you tried. Obviously trying and consequently not succeeding does come with its fair share of frustrations - understandable, no one likes to fail.

I found myself pulled out raw, screaming and kicking, wondering how I was going to get through the week. I just did. And I feel a lot more settled now. At this moment I'm actually relieved to be out of that unhappy quagmire, seeing that the exams are mere weeks away. It would have been nearly impossible to concentrate with all those feelings whirling and twirling about, barging to the forefront of one's consciousness the moment one woke and only receding in slumber.

A great deal does feel unresolved, however. But at this point I have neither the time, emotional capacity or strength to plunge in again, so we chug along on the Status Quo Express.

So I guess the door is closed but not locked. It can't be, a key was never made. Ok enough bad analogy back to work.