I Don't Wanna Fight

I really don't. Really. So whatever it is that you have a problem with, just deal with it and get over yourself. You really need to. I really can't be bothered to engage in any form of skirmish with you. Just don't back me into a corner here ok? You mind your own damn business and I'll do likewise.

Anyway, it's been yet another depressingly boring week and I don't know when that is ever going to change. This weekend promises more...excitement, but in a week's time I wonder, is it really going to make any difference? Are we just put in this world to suffer and die a slow death. Knowing that we are leading ourselves to destruction, but unable (and unwilling) to steer ourselves on another course. It's a terribly fatalistic approach to life isn't it? Over the past few months, I've been striving to find some meaning to life. Something to live for. Self-nourishment, enrichment, what exactly is missing? All the books I read, the classics, the Economist, Freud, etc etc, does it really contribute ANYTHING to this life. For the past 20 years I've just been going where the wind blows, rarely making my own decisions, taking things into my own hands. And when I have placed my bets, the results haven't exactly been unqualified sucess. I yearn to reach that place, where I can truly say I've found meaning to life, purpose in living.

So until then I'm just going to continue this search. Stability isn't always so fun is it?