Love & Life

I seem to want to write more when I'm feeling like shit. I need to rant and besides, it's the whole suffering for one's art thing.

...

What a load of crap.

I went online in the hope of striking up a conversation with someone - anyone - but there's no one interesting to talk to, and Meng is perpetually on away mode. And of course I don't have the MSN address of the one person I really want to talk to.

Which sucks.

Time is seriously flying by at a frightening pace. I'm not sure if I can keep up, although I don't exactly have a choice do I? Ho.

As you can tell by now, this entry is really shitty and I guess that's a reflection of my mood. I wanted the hawt law school BF and I am so close physically...and yet somehow an ocean away.

It's been almost a week since I've developed this...this...crush - I can't believe I'm using that word - and I suppose it has provided quite the case study with regards to the insecurities and inadequacies I feel - of not being good looking enough, not being smart enough, not speaking well enough, not dressing well enough, not being rich/friendly/funny/interesting enough - and the measures I take to sabotage myself - appearing dao, going out of my way to avoid said crush(which basically involved a somewhat hilarious scene, with Jinesh trying to force me to follow him back out, and I practically running out the other end and going to the toilet for the longest time).

It's pathetically funny to think about.

I can't keep something that I never had can I?