Pokerface (and this is my final post here on craptasticqueer)

So you showed your cards and I crumbled like a deck. I suppose that's what happens when you continually up the stakes. You win, you win big. You lose, you lose big. And I really should have known that I would lose in the end. But like the gambler that refused to quit, I continued to pour more and more into a prospect that seemed increasingly unlikely with each passing day. Why? Because I believed in following my heart.

I will not feel bad for having loved. It's a wonderful feeling. Yes the consequences are dreadful, the damage may be almost irreparable, but it was better for me to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. I will not turn into a cold, unfeeling, bitter person, because that is not who I am.

Tears will be shed, pain will be felt, but I will emerge from all of this a stronger person. In some ways I already am.

I always enjoyed talking to you before we went to sleep. It was funny, it was comfortable and at times, it was bizarre. It was us. One night, you were curled up on the mattress on the floor, and (perhaps in your semiconscious) asked me whether I would love you tomorrow - I said yes - and whether I would love you the day after - and I hesitated for a moment before saying that I would always love you in some way.

I would say the same thing even now, even tonight, because you will always have a piece of me.

Goodnight.

P.S. thanks to everyone who's bothered to read my garbage for the past what... 3 and a half years. Its time to move on (I swear this has nothing to do with the blog being turned into lecture slides), I hope to have a travel blog or something, ya'll will hear about it when I do get down to it.

I miss you already.