Mr Bad Media Karma

I'm going to start a new blog soon, I think

2010-04-26T05:46:00.003+08:00

This one has run its course. I don't feel like "craptasticqueer" anymore. I don't know, maybe its mellowing with, my god, age. Or even worse, the fear that the relative openness I've maintained here - and if you look back to previous posts, my god i was really open - is no longer sustainable as I prepare to graduate and enter the workforce. Yeah its still a year away but bottom line, I think this place was great, and its such an amazing record of the last 5 years of my life (well, make that 3 ish because to be honest, my updates for the past one and a half years have been sporadic at best), and I will leave it here for posterity, but... the time has come for something new.

Will get down to it when I get back to SG. Ah, getting back to SG. It's funny that I really do look forward to that so very much. Because I'm never satisfied with the present and am always looking into the future. Will let the people who need to know know when I have found a new place for writing.

Anyway, I'm going to end with the most random parting comment ever. I was looking through pictures of the two of you on FB, because, well, that's what I do when I have a barely written essay due in 3 days time and another 5 days after that. No, not you and you, but you and you.

And you don't read blogs so you're never going to read this, but I thought to myself, wow he was REALLY stupid to have let you go, especially for that. But love is blind I suppose?

As for you, I still love you very much. And I don't really know what to do at this point. I suppose we'll find out eventually won't we?

Just Up

2010-03-25T06:56:00.003+08:00

Caught the NUS team's final preliminary round here in DC, with Nich (is that how you spell the shortened version of his name) and Sarah speaking. They got very positive feedback from the judges, and I thought that these were largely well-deserved, although their overuse of "your excellency" did not escape the notice of one of the excellencies, and I did think it too 'Asian supplicant', if you know what I mean.

Keith and I had a fascinating discussion on the way from the Capital Hilton (where the moots are being held) to school, regarding intelligence and what it means. Its substantive content, if you will. Its so much easier to dismiss a person as being unintelligent, stupid, than actually finding an example of someone who is truly intelligent. I can think of a few names, but I'll keep them to myself ;)

Job hunt still proving elusive, I wonder if I have been screwing up my telephone interviews by being too candid, or worse, boring. Time will tell.

And to any of you out there right now who may be finding the waves of life lapping upon your shore a little too keenly (wow what a well-conceived but terribly expressed metaphor), know that you are not alone, and your friends are here for you. They admire you, respect you, and care for you. They think the world of you, and hope that you can see in yourself that strength and loyalty that is emanates so brightly from you.

paris is beautiful

2010-03-12T08:32:00.000+08:00

come what may, come what may, I will love you, until my dying days

Out of Words

2010-02-23T11:23:00.002+08:00

Could it be that I have nothing left to say? Its the only explanation I can muster to defend my long absence from this blog. I used to pour my heart and soul onto this - just look back a few years - but lately, well, the emotions and feelings are there but I can't be bothered to write them all down. Maybe I'm just lazy, I dunno.

Traveling has been amazing, but other than that exchange has been blah. WISH I HAD GONE TO EUROPE URGH. But anyway, I was just thinking about how I'd love to work for a law firm in London/New York, where the clients are huge and the work is exciting and cutting edge, but that means taking myself away from Singapore and away from you, and I don't want to do that any more than I already have. I mean, I can survive without you but I just don't want to. It makes me sad to think we'll grow distant, yet I can't promise that we won't. Especially if I'm living overseas in the future. So I guess the solution to that is to stay in Singapore, and hopefully you'll be there too.

I have so little fight left in me

2010-01-20T15:06:00.001+08:00

Maybe I'll just remain single for life.

Grr

2010-01-07T03:15:00.001+08:00

Already in an irritable state, I get more annoyed when one Brandon Tan says "Hello" and :) to me on fb. Like... OMG GO AWAY

travel plans for winter

2009-11-11T23:30:00.002+08:00

24 - 31 Dec Japan
1 Jan - 9 Jan Singapore
10 Jan - 13 Jan Seattle
14 Jan - 18 Jan Cancun

Wah all this in less than a month. IF ONLY I could do this for work :(

No Matter

2009-11-03T15:49:00.006+08:00

What Happens/Where We Work/Where We Live/Who We're With Eventually

You'll always be special to me. And extraordinary.

2009-10-19T10:46:00.003+08:00

For the past, I don't know, one and a half hours(?), I was working downstairs in the living room on my mini laptop. Deprived of privacy (Keith and I were sitting at the dining table which has plenty of space for lappys and books and sheets of paper), and an internet connection (because my mini laptop can't remember the wifi password and I can't be bothered to retrieve it), I found myself more productive than I've been in SUCH A LONG TIME. I was able to complete what I would ordinarily (i.e. in the privacy of my own room and with an internet connection) take double the time (or more!) to do. What does that say?

I'll shout it from the mountaintop, I want the world to know...

2009-10-17T14:26:00.003+08:00

That I LOVE DC! I mean, I really love the city. Just came back from this club called Town which had a drag show - 4 drag queens impersonating various divas and lip synching their way down a runway. So there's audience seated by the runway and the rest of us are like on the perimeter. And they go around lip synching and people actually give them dollar bills. It's pretty cool. Some were not very good (mouth and lyrics not even co-ordinated, tsk as Andrea would say), but some really went all the way - outrageous outfits, synchronized synching, and even a few kicks and splits in high heel boots - not the easiest thing to do. And omg all the songs they sang to - Sweet Dreams, Party in the USA, 3, It's Not Right But It's Ok etc etc. I can't remember the others but you get the idea. And then after the show the music came on, and they screened the accompanying music videos on these huge-ass screens behind the bar counter - Poker Face, Crazy in Love, Since U Been Gone, Down, SOS (Rescue Me), Disturbia, 3!! (they showed various clips of Brit Brit on screen since the video isn't out yet), Party in the USA (which A LOT of people seem to really like, notwithstanding (or because of?) it being a Miley song) and so on and so forth. I absolutely loved it,

The great thing about living where I live is that... you can walk home from the club. About 1 mile and 20 minutes. And it was hella cold cause the weather here seems to have skipped fall and gone straight to winter, and there was a very light but constant drizzle falling down (the rain almost drifted down like snow), and I was only in my D&G tank top with my CK jacket over it, but the alcohol was coursing through my veins and while my ears felt kindda cold, I relished walking through the leafy streets of this city while listening to music from my phone. It really can be such a charming place. I had to take photos. Love this city.

glass half full

2009-10-16T13:33:00.006+08:00

*part of a renewed effort on my part to halt this dangerous loss of passion for and rising abhorrence of all things legal*
I'm reading a judgment on the enforceability of foreign arbitral awards by the United States Court of Appeals 2nd Circuit, and this sentence came to my attention. It can be so stimulating to read something in a judgment that just stands out for how well-written it is, in terms of getting a point across succinctly and powerfully.

Context: an American firm broke a contract with an Egyptian corporation to build and manage a paperboard mill in Alexandria, Egypt following the advent of the 1967 six-day war between the Arabs and Israelis, which precipitated Egypt's expulsion of all Americans and a branch of the State Department cutting off funding for the project. The American firm argued that the arbitral award in favor of the Egyptians should not be recognized as it fell within the public policy exception [to the enforceability of international arbitral awards] in the New York Convention.

And this was what the court had to say:

'To read the public policy defence as a parochial device protective of national political interests would seriously undermine the Convention's utility. This provision was not meant to enshrine the vagaries of international politics under the rubric of "public policy."'

So maybe I'm grasping for straws here but it isn't too often - especially given my current antagonism to the law - that a line stands out to me like this one.

Oh and dare I say, someone should cite the italicized quote to the judges back home sometime (without the term 'international' of course).

when the cold comes we freeze together

2009-10-16T05:59:00.002+08:00

its funny that everyone is feeling the cold now. from leonard in boston to angela in new york to me in dc. and it gets worse in scandinavia apparently. brrr

2009-10-13T16:32:00.001+08:00

only you can make me stay up for 3 hours to talk when i have a class in the morning that i haven't prepared for

'It's kindda disturbing, doing that in front of your parents'

2009-10-05T03:13:00.005+08:00

So said Pink after performing a cover of 'I Touch Myself' and writhing around on a sofa wearing very little at the Wachovia Center last night. It was a homecoming of sorts for the 30 year old star, who was born in a small town 50km from Philadelphia. The moment was not lost on her, as she declared that she'd 'waited 30 years of this day'. And what a day it was. The audience was introduced to her mum, who was seated a surprising distance from the stage, wearing a red cape with a t-shirt that said 'I'm the mom'.

Pink has been in the business for nearly a decade now, and apart from debut RnB tinged debut 'Can't Take Me Home', she mined her extensive - and solid - catalog throughout the show. Even 'Trouble', the less than successful lead single from the commercial disappointment 'Try This', enjoyed stage time. From the dark, relentless 'Just Like A Pill' to the cheeky, irresistible 'U + Ur Hand' to the rousing "screw you" anthem 'So What', there was no shortage of jump-in-the-air pop-rock.

But it was her performance of 'Dear Mr President' that - in the opinion of this reviewer - stole the show. Set against a screen flashing images of the Iraq War, scenes from Katrina, 'God Hates Fags' signs and a liberal sprinkling of George W (the first sight of which illicited an almost universal jeer from the audience), Pink sung with an intensity and depth that was, frankly, surprising, even to someone who has followed her career and been awed by her talent for many years.

Other highlights included the heart-wrenching 'Family Portrait', the pure pop joy of 'Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)' and the soaring 'Sober', which featured a thrilling acrobatic performance that Pink would surely have taken on herself had she not injured her shoulder socket.

The 'Funhouse' tour was a timely reminder of the amazing talent of this sometimes underrated artist, who has an incredible richness and color in her whisky-drenched vocal, bucket loads of charisma (which she flaunted throughout the night, with plenty of engaging banter with the audience) and who can even bust a few moves. Nothing short of an electrifying.

Roosevelt Walter

2009-09-29T03:51:00.002+08:00

There are some decisions you make in life which you look back at and go, 'WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?'
The above-mentioned is one of them.
Still makes me cringe.

Sit down. Reflect.

2009-09-27T04:54:00.005+08:00

I've not written here for too long. I've settled into DC and am liking it a lot more than I did when I first got here - I actually felt terrible about having to leave New York a couple of weekends ago. But now that I've spent some time here and gotten to know some of the people, I can truly say that I'm very happy to be here.

It's not easy to uproot yourself from the comfort of home, and with the thrill of independence comes additional responsibilities. What I've loved about the States so far is how much easier it is to just meet and have conversations with people. Sure, you're not going to be best friends with everyone, but just that heightened possibility of making a lasting connection is so... attractive to me. So attractive that I actually find myself thinking of coming back to live here after I graduate. Which is very premature but also an interesting development. I don't need to be a highly-paid lawyer. Hell, I don't need to be a lawyer. I'd trade being a big fish in a small pond for being a fish in the large ocean. All this may change, and today Michael said something that I won't forget for a long time (something to the effect of how I shouldn't waste the opportunity he thinks I have to rise to the top of the legal profession), but right now I can envision myself earning a reduced - but still decent - paycheck, being able to get off work at 6 everyday and having the weekends to myself, living in this great country and among these wonderful people.

Sweet dream or beautiful nightmare? Either way I don't want to wake up.

The Outlaw party last weekend was held in this beautiful place called Artists' Inn Residences, on R street in Dupont, inside one of those lovely houses we walked past when I was in DC in Dec and marveled at. I did quite a bit last weekend. Went up to Ikea in College Park and reveled in the vaguely familiar Swedish meatballs, went for hot yoga with Michael and Keith at this cute place called Down Dog, headed to a club called Cobalt after the above-mentioned Outlaw party, had breakfast at this wonderful bookstore cum cafe (located at the back of the bookstore) called Kramer's (last photo above), did a spot of studying in Dupont the next day and chatted with this cute blonde sales associate in the G-star store at Dupont. Oh I should have gotten a number :(

Yesterday (Friday) night, I headed out to meet some of the Outlaw people at Nellie's, whose four walls (and open-air balcony on the second floor) contained the greatest number of gorgeous people I have seen in quite some time - or ever. You can go crazy just looking around at the people there.

Today I headed to the Georgetown main campus for this event called Homecoming, which is basically an alumni-sponsored beer festival. For 10 dollars, you get all the beer you can drinks plus unlimited pizza, burgers, hotdogs, ice cream and the like. They even had a band playing on stage and a whole buncha Hoyas jumping up and down - they don't really know how to dance - to the music. Mike then brought me to this Chinese tea house in the Georgetown neighborhood and I had a tea called the floating lantern. The tea leaves are tied up to resemble what I thought was a champagne bottle cork, but when you submerge it in hot water it slowly beings to unfurl and resembles one of those red Chinese lanterns that are ubiquitous come Chinese New Year.

I'm not looked at my current situation through rose-tinted lenses. It isn't easy being new and looking and sounding different from everyone else, and I bristled last night when someone asked me - completely non-maliciously by the way - whether I understood the meaning of 'break-up' and 'trivia'. What Jin said is true - when you don't speak the same way they do, there may be the tendency to presume that your standard of English is inferior or that the scope of your vocabulary, or for that matter your understanding of what they may deem "American" terms, is limited.

But all this I shall take in stride.

JS's friend Sean is coming over from NY in a few hours, and I have a lot of work to do, so I shall sign off now and wish you all a good weekend, wherever you're reading this from. Have been in an amazing mood for the past few days. Like, amazing. I don't really know why. Something to do with living in and enjoying the moment, I think.

August

2009-09-10T09:30:00.003+08:00

Keith said that TTThio should not have used that term in describing Singapore's parliament, as it was more befitting for the United States Supreme Court. We were there bright and early at 9am this morning, standing in a steady drizzle, waiting for the first case before the new bench to commence (the actual court season only starts in October, this was an extraordinary hearing).

The case? Citizens United v Federal Elections Commission. Also known as the Hillary movie case. A buncha right-wingers made a movie last year about why Hillary Clinton was not fit to be president (which is really a moot point no?) and it fell foul of certain provisions barring corporate contributions to political campaigns under the McCain Feingold Act. And so like good Americans, these people decide to challenge the constitutionality of the statute, and it eventually worked its way up to the Supreme Court. Today's was a re-hearing that was ordered before the Court went into recess last summer. Don't ask me why a re-hearing was ordered I don't know the details.

Anyway, subject matter itself already has significant consequences for political campaigning, balanced against First Amendment rights to free speech, and what made the case all the more riveting (and well-publicized) was the fact that it would be the first time Elena Kagan, Obama's pick for Solicitor General and former Dean of Harvard Law, would be arguing before the bench. The first woman to hold that office, arguing for the first time before a panel that included the third female Supreme Court justice, also presiding over her first ever hearing in that capacity.

But wait it gets better. For the petitioner, Theodore B Olsen, former Solicitor General and perhaps best known (and loathed?) for winning 2000's Bush v Gore, and most recently - and surprisingly - for his attempts to overturn California's Prop 8. As amicus curiae in support of the appellant (Citizens United), Floyd Abrams, perhaps best known - to us anyway - for New York Times v Sullivan.

And as amicus curiae in support of the respondent - and on behalf on Sen John McCain - Seth P Waxman, former Solicitor General under President Clinton. Talk about the number of great minds in one courtroom.

But flash back to 9am in the morning. We get there thinking we were early, and to our dismay, see a long winding line, and are told it is unlikely we'll get in to catch the full arguments (they only let the first 50 in for that). I suppose Keith was right in saying that was a sign of how Americans are so much more civic-minded than Singaporeans, although it may be a case of apples and oranges.

Anyway, and luckily for us, we were allowed to go in and sit right at the back, for what was to have been a disappointingly quick 5 minute observation, but stretched to 15. Hey, I'll take what I can get.

So we got into the courtroom (which is surprisingly bigger than I thought it would be), and oral arguments were well on the way, with Kagan arguing before the notorious nine. There they were, Alito, Ginsburg, Kennedy, Stevens, Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, Breyer and Sotomayor (in that order), perched on the high bench overlooking the packed courtroom. Scalia was expressing disbelief at one of her submissions (woo big surprise there) and Roberts, Stevens and Kennedy subsequently engaged in active questioning. Stevens sounds surprisingly sprightly for his age. Ruth looked rather regal, Alito opened his trap once to ask a question of little consequence, and Sotomayor just sat there, leaned over slightly to look at her colleagues as they were speaking, and didn't say a word while I was there - but according to news reports she had jumped into questioning within 20 minutes of oral argument. Clarence Thomas just sat there like a grumpy ol' bear. A placeholder if there ever was one.

Haha I wasn't really paying attention to the arguments (and even if I was I sure as hell wouldn't want to recite them) but it was nevertheless a great experience, just to see these people who have been so talked about. It's like the law school student's version of going to the VMAs or something.

SPEAKING OF. 2 things and then I gtg.

(1) Today in Securities Regulation class the professors asked my classroom of about 50 who thought that the pay of bankers should be restricted, to say, not more than 1 million dollars. Not one, not one person, put up their hand. One of the Profs (both work for the SEC) went, 'woah, you guys are all Republicans huh'. And I thought to myself, 'nope, we're just self-interested'. I mean, if bankers' pay is reduced, how long before lawyers are affected too? Ultimately everyone is looking out for themselves.
(2) I may actually be at the VMAs on Sunday! Haha. Not in Radio City, but hopefully, possibly, somewhere around trying to catch a glimpse of celebrities on the Red Carpet. Leaving for the Big Apple tomorrow in the afternoon, and I'm actually really excited even though I've already been there a couple times before. Zhengx got me a ticket for Wicked! WICKED!!

Haha life is good.

Philadelphia Dreaming

2009-09-03T12:52:00.005+08:00

That's my favorite shot of the whole trip.

I wasn't sure about Philly when I was dropped off near Reading Terminal Market and walked down Market Street to my hostel. The street was supposed to be the pre-eminent street (turns out that its best days are behind it) but was lined with mom and pops and discount stores.

But by the time I took that photo around 5.30 pm that day, having spent the past 4 hours walking through the various neighborhoods, the city had won me over. The grid system makes it easy to navigate, the city (what you want to see of it, in any case) is pretty compact and walkable, and I love the little lanes that cut through the blocks, some with cobblestone surfaces and not big enough for cars to drive through. The brick houses with wrought-iron balconies, set back from leafy streets (what I like to call the standard 'East Cost townhouse' style, which you can see variations of in Washington DC, Philly, New York and probably - because I haven't been there yet and so don't know for sure - Boston). Oh, I also think its really clever how they don't have pedestrian traffic lights for most smaller road crossings. Just zebra stripes, and you watch the main traffic light and take your cue from there. I always do that anywhere I go (except maybe Saigon where even main traffic lights were non-existent) so it was nice to see a city where you actually had to do it.

The $2 I spent on the walk (organized by the hostel) was a great investment. I got to see a lot of what I wanted, from Society Hill to South Street (with the beautiful mosaic wonder known as the Magic Garden - see it in my facebook album) to the Italian Market in South Philly, home to the famous competing cheesesteak joints. In a decidedly un-Simon move, I then proceeded to walk to Chinatown and across half the length of the Ben Franklin bridge (where I took that gorgeous photo above) with 2 of the leftovers from the walking tour, some dude from Austria and a German girl doing an internship with a small criminal law firm in New Jersey (which is just across the water from Philly) who looked eerily similar to Scar Jo circa Lost In Translation. If the law thing doesn't work out she'll have a great career as an impersonator really.

Speaking of doing things that don't come naturally to me - I actually stayed in a hostel! Yes it was only for a night, and yes I did it purely for financial reasons, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. By the time I got back, the lights in the dorm were long gone and I had to use the light from my phone to find whatever I needed to settle in for the night, and then sat down in the corridor outside talking to Jin (which must have made people think me crazy). Would definitely do it again. In fact I am staying in a hostel in Chicago too, and this one looks pretty great so fingers crossed I'll enjoy it as much as I did the one in Philly.

So at night I part ways with my Teutonic friends and make my way to Rittenhouse Square, which is this upscale part of town surrounded by hotels, cafes, shops etc. and from there I walk a little more to catch 'Never the Sinner', which is a recreation of the infamous Loeb and Leopold case that rocked Chicago early in the 20th century. 2 young and rich youth who subscribe to Nietzsche's theory of the 'superman' set out to prove that they are above the laws of man and human conceptions of tradition and morality, and they kidnap and kill a young boy as a 'philosophical experiment'. They were defended by the great civil liberties champion Clarence Darrow, and much of the play recreates the transcript of the court case. There's also a homosexual theme running through the play - in exchange for satiating Leopold's sexual desires, Loeb expects the former to acquiesce in his heinous plan to commit murder. Some parts are rather chilling, and I was disturbed that I found myself rooting for the remorseless murders to escape the gallows, although they were deliberately portrayed in a sympathetic light. I also realized that we've all been guilty, at one point or another, of thinking ourselves invincible superman, apart from the masses and being able to do anything we please. I am, anyway. Scary what that can lead to.

Contemplation was followed by a stroll through Philly at night, which was fine although I was in the homicide capital of the country, because most of that goes on outside the city center. This was when the skies decided to open on me and I was hit by torrents of rain, to the point of being soaking wet, and I eventually dried myself and waited under the awning of what looked to be a closed restaurant, waiting for the rain to abate. And waiting. And waiting. And feeling cold and miserable. Until a kind lady from inside offered me a broken (but still usable) umbrella, which I gladly accepted. I do believe in 'what goes around comes around', and I couldn't help but think that was my good fortune for having helped a couple of women carry their heavy suitcases up the stairs of the hostel earlier in the day.

Day 2 was spent walking around the various neighborhoods, soaking in the city and its people. Then I came across this street which had a rainbow symbol attached to it (the street sign). I hadn't found the gayborhood. It had found me. Yes, Philly actually has an official gayborhood, and I came across many great places to sit down and watch the world go by (aka cruise, and be cruised). Would have patronized one of them myself if I wasn't... by myself. Yes, traveling alone can be a lonely experience, but better than no traveling at all I suppose.

In the evening, I got back to the hostel, got my bag and took the metro down to the Wachovia Center, for the main purpose of my trip to Philly, Britney in the Circus Tour! It's funny, there was a baseball match going on in the field nearby, and that provided a distinct contrast between the target audience for both events on the subway. It was an amazing feeling to walk to the arena from the station, look in front and behind, and witness a stream of people making their way there.

The concert was great. I took a video of the opening scene, and the reason its shaky at some points was because my hands and legs were shaking with excitement and anticipation. She didn't interact much with the crowd, apart from 2 shout-outs to Philly, but at least she got the city right this time. It was really a concert for the hardcore fans though, because many of the songs were album tracks from In The Zone and Blackout (and yeah only a hardcore fan would have purchased the latter). This sweet remix of Baby One More Time was probably the most well-received track, which provides an interesting study in the general public's penchant for nostalgia and the good ol' days.

Ok I'm really sleepy (which is not great for my plans to do some reading before I leave tomorrow afternoon) so I'll just wrap up here. Philly has a great train station, up there with Grand Central and Union. Massive, impressive, ornate. Look at the pictures on fb la (and leave some comments in the album). Ciao.

Bottom-line : I like Philly. Not love like NY. But like good enough.

Time's the Problem

2009-08-29T11:26:00.005+08:00

I simply don't have enough time to do everything I strive to. It's been a whirl since I landed on Sunday, rushing to stock up on basic necessities I took for granted back home, trying to figure out the online subject registration system and choosing my courses, fighting jet lag, meeting new people and friends of friends, and trying to stay in touch with people back home. Classes start on Monday and I have assigned readings that I'm not going to have the time to get through because I'm leaving for Philly tomorrow, and am spending Saturday night there and Sunday with Britney at the Circus! Haha can't wait. But yes, time is not on my side and so I'll just record down a few observations for posterity.

1. I LOVE the box stores! Against my better and more sophisticated judgment, I can't help but be amazed by the giant chains that have invaded my neighborhood and have made it resemble, as far as is possible (without urm, replacing some of the inhabitants - there was a crazy man with a pet cat today, wtf!), a soulless suburb. Even now, I wander around in slight disbelief that I really am here.

2. It's a lot harder to socialize and establish relationships than I thought it would be. And I'm not in a terribly friendly mood really. All so tiring. But I have met some interesting people (mostly from Asian countries - yes yes, disappointing I know) with stories to tell, I wonder if mine measure up?

3. I've spent most of my time so far retracing areas I've already been to back in December, but a certain thrill comes over me when I see the CVS near the Westin, or walk along the perimeter of the White House, or sit in the very same spot where I checked my exam results on that cold winder night - or urm, less pleasant memories when I walked past Lamda Rising.

4. We inadvertently set off the security alarm twice 2 nights ago and lo and behold, the police showed up 15 minutes later. Good to know they're doing their jobs, god knows DC needs as many of them to do so as possible.

5. The area around the Law Center is pretty sketch. Last night Keith saw someone getting arrested, there are always police cars and sirens at night, and today I saw a man drinking from a bottle and then dancing on the street, and an individual of undeterminable gender (always so unfortunate) singing along to the music his/her headphones were plugged into. Sounded like something they'd show on the first few episodes of American Idol - aka a disaster.

6. Attended a moot court last night that turned out to be way more interesting than I thought it would be. Its going to be argued before the Supreme Court in the upcoming term, and the lawyer who is representing the appellant government is a law professor who is also the director of the appellate litigation clinic at Gtown Law. How cool is that? You had 3 professors as judges and another as counsel for the respondent Stevens, and the latter has argued several dozen cases before the Supreme Court. It was an amazing performance. Basically, the respondent is alleging that a statute enacted by the federal government is invalid as it infringes on his protection to free speech as provided for in the First Amendment. Can't wait to see the actual argument in court!

7. Cooked my first meal today. It was breakfast but turned out to be lunch because I woke up late. Scrambled eggs. People usually enjoy what they cook because, well, they've cooked it, but I can tell you that it was pretty bad. It just tasted off, even though I was liberal with the salt and pepper. And the remnants of egg stuck onto the surface of the pan and I had to spend a good 5 - 10 minutes just scrubbing everything off. I cannot cook to save my life.

8. Went out for drinks yesterday (my first!) and woo hoo hoo alcohol is relatively cheap! Like, 5 bucks for a cocktail. 6 after tip but yeah, still quite reasonable. The venues were actually rather crowded considering it was a Thursday night.

9. Oh yes the law gym is something else. Not as huge as California Fitness, but several times the size of the one at BTC and with almost all the machines available at any mega gym. TV on the treadmills and all that. And classes! And an indoor swimming pool. How sweet is that?

All in all, I've had a great time so far, although I dread the start of school and all the reading and work (urgh work) that's going to come with it. Other thing would be the socializing. I haven't exactly been a very social animal. I almost can't be arsed and that scares me. As insecure as ever.

DC can be rough, but it seems like my initial assessment after visiting in Dec was misguided. There does seem to be lots to do here, and even if that proves to be untrue, there's certainly plenty of traveling to be done. Talk to you guys in Philadelphia =D

Nowhere in Narita

2009-08-24T06:20:00.002+08:00

NH 902 from SIN to NRT was uneventful – it seemed to go by faster than the actual 7 hours, and unlike the Jetstar flight to Vietnam at the beginning of the month (that may as well have been called Air Turbulence), everything was smooth as silk, bar a slight bit of jerkiness when we passed through some storm clouds shortly after take off. Considering the not unsubstantial amount of flying I’ve done – for a student la – turbulence still gets me in ways few other things can. I think it’s the feeling of being completely powerless and vulnerable – although there is a time and place for that, but that’s WTMI here isn’t it?

After a surprisingly unemotional farewell (see Andrea, I stuck to the script), I went straight to the gate and more or less boarded almost immediately, after a quick phone call to say final goodbyes. The first thing that struck me when I entered the plane was the… middle-aged… stewardess who greeted me. I was reminded once again of the peculiarities of Singapore and Singaporeans. In fact, an American friend told me that the term ‘stewardess’ itself is offensive, and that in the good ol’ US of Political Correctness, gender-neutral terms such as ‘flight attendant’ are used. I’m all for older cabin crew, but the stewardess thing comes so naturally we’ll stick to that, until, I’m sure, I’m ticked off by an irate individual one day. In any case, I’m guessing that Japan can’t afford to be picky about age, what with their graying population and all…

The other thing I realized was how spacious the 767-300 cabin was. The 767 isn’t talked about much, and I never really had much of an impression, apart from when I took a Qantas domestic from Brisbane to Melbourne way back in ’96. In fact, I remember being somewhat disappointed on hearing that they were still being used on the SIN – NRT route (ANA is supposed to replace its 767 fleet with 787s but, of course, that particular model has been besieged by production delays).

So you can imagine my pleasant surprise at how well-maintained the plane was. The last time I flew in to Tokyo on an SQ 747-400, I had the distinct impression that I was on an old plane – a venerable one no doubt, but the cabin had a distinctly worn feel to it, notwithstanding the lingering Christmas decorations. I’m also a fan of the 2-3-2 seating, it makes the cabin seem less cramped, and it also means that I’m only ever one seat away from the aisle, which is vital for someone who needs the toilet as much as I do, but still enjoys a window seat from time to time. The baggage hold was also rather spacious, especially compared with the A320s Jetstar uses. I know, can’t compare budget to full-service, but just sayin’…

Watched The Pelican Brief, the movie adaptation of the John Grisham novel starring Julia Roberts and set in DC of all places, featuring two slain Supreme Court justices, a billionaire donor to the President, a pushy Chief of Staff, prestigious law firms, and an intrepid Tulane Law student. You could say I enjoyed it.

Only complaint about the flight was that they serve breakfast at freaking 5am. I mean, seriously, I had barely finished the movie, listened to Obsessed and Battlefield, hopped over the sleeping Japanese man next to me to use the loo, and tried to get some shut-eye, only to have the lights turned on and the announcement that breakfast would be served.
What made it worse was that the Breakfast wasn’t much good. Bland eggs and sausage. And this coming from someone who (1) actually likes airline food (2) has a relatively high tolerance for bad food. A damning indictment if there was one.

But don’t get me wrong, the first leg of me flight has been great, and I haven’t had my lofty expectations of ANA disappointed as yet. Yes, everything is in Japanese, but the stewardesses do make an effort to speak in English to the rest of us heathen masses, so you don’t feel discriminated against or anything, just… inferior. Haha. I think the SIN – NRT leg is great for those who want to arrive in Tokyo bright and early in the morning. The flight probably doesn’t feel very long cause its an overnighter and you spend a bit of time in and out of slumber.

As the plane descended, I looked out the window at the blue sea, which soon turned into the most verdant, lush countryside I have ever seen. Green everywhere, Jin you’d love it :). Japanese rural areas aren’t really very rural anyway – there’re green spaces but they’re sort of interspersed by buildings and infrastructure. The taxi from runway to terminal was unduly long, but I eventually found myself in a rather empty portion of Nartia at 7 am.

After finding out I was ineligible to use the rather spiffy looking ANA lounge (we’re not quite at that level yet la huh), I decided to change the 50 Singapore dollars in my wallet which fetched me about 3000 yen, and I’m typing this out on Microsoft word (because I can’t get free WIFI) in a nice little foodcourt while sipping on my Starbucks iced caramel macchiato. Feels like home. Thought of having a McPorko burger (which I’m sure would make Jin jealous) but when I got to Macs I realized they’re still on the breakfast menu. I should get something ramen-y since I’m in Japan no? I love Japan. I don’t care what Newsweek says (their headline this week is ‘Fading Japan’, and I just saw this in a bookstore in Narita airport. Weird). Can’t wait to be back in Jan. OMG Jin I saw this Sony Vaio netbook that was super super light.
I still have about one and a half hours here, and intend to get a shower before I get on the plane again (I think 500 yen for that’s pretty worth it, no?). And yup that’s about it really. Was trying to get phone recep and couldn’t, which got me really annoyed with Starhub, until I realized where I was (my Iphone isn’t 3G sigh).
Hmm could use something to eat now. Till next time!
*Edit. So I'm in DC now, The meals on the second leg were better, and I had the good fortune to be assigned seats in Premium Economy, which had 2-4-2 seating instead of 3-3-3, and slightly more legroom which was great.
Caught 17 Again which really wasn't was bad as I thought it would be, and Star Trek. 777-200 was more spacious than I remembered. Flight was mostly smooth although there were pockets of jerkiness, but that was unavoidable. I spoke with the lady seated next to me periodically, as she had lived in Singapore from 98 - 00 and took an interest in conversing when she found out that I was from there. She and her husband work for the State Department and she has lived in countries including Ghana, Nicaragua and Rome. This latest flight was the result of some 'embassy work' in Burma and she was flying back to DC, where they will be living for the foreseeable future. Despite all her traveling, she actually brought her pair of dogs (the composition of which has changed over the years but oh well) along on her travels, and one of them is 16 years of age and has, since she bought it from a shelter as a puppy, seen more of the world than most humans out there. Very interesting, the people one meets on the plane.

My story probably doesn't compare to Keith's. And since he can't tell it to you guys I'll do so and bask in reflected glory. Bitch was upgraded to freaking business class on the NRT to IAD leg because they were overbooked. He said it felt much shorter than the actual 12 or so hours, and he now understands why travelers (or rather, their companies) are willing to pay a premium. So lucky!

Anyway I'm off to take a shower and then we're going for dinner, I walked around the neighborhood so far and at the risk of repeating myself to various people, I really like it, and my house/room. Pictures on Facebook. Take care you guys.

You better pull your weight

2009-08-11T10:35:00.003+08:00

That's what I told myself at the start of my internship at D&N, but here I am on the third day, with nothing to do, and consequently resorting to blogging to kill time. Till lunch!

This whole law thing is just boring me to bits really.

I'm looking to the 22th with a mixture of excitement and fear, anticipation and regret.

Let's play a lovegame

2009-07-18T01:28:00.002+08:00

I'm loving the aps on my original, non-3GS-but-almost-as-good I Phone. Been happily tapping away to Gaga's Lovegame. Can't wait to see her next month!

So Jin and I met Zhengx today for a sort-of-farewell tea-thing at this cozy place at Sixth Avenue. They have the most delectable scones and the drinks were pretty good too, although I'm afraid our conversation was morally corrupting (it has this Miss Clarity-esque Christian theme you see...)

Zhengx noted - as 'endearing' - my consistent talent for taking hold of a conversation on any given subject and somehow managing to end up steering it to a topic about or related to myself. I swear its not something I do consciously, and while I do enjoy indulging in a bout of self-aware narcissism every now and then, I know its not a good habit. Besides, when you put Zhengx and Jin together, everyone else should just shut up and listen to them, because their banter is always amusing, often hilarious, and occasionally intense.

Has been a while since I've bothered to comment on issues of social import, but I shall allow myself one. Is anyone else... taken aback... by the pretense also known as the Senate Judiciary Committee hearings for Sonia Sotomayor?

It saddens me that even in the age of Obama, Washington is as cynical and politicized as ever. Instead of using the hearings as an opportunity to really suss out the calibre and qualifications of the nominee, these proceedings have descended into what the New York Times has rather appropriately termed the 'well-rehearsed dance that senators and the nominee are now forced to perform'. What a shame.

This is certainly not an indictment of the intellectual capacity of Justice Sotomayor (I wouldn't dare!). In fact, I almost sympathize with her situation - having to rattle off banalities about the Constitution being 'immutable' (GIVE ME A BREAK) and merely applying the law to the facts (which you could probably train a monkey to do), in order to avoid being Bork-ed.

Regardless, this charade makes a mockery of the entire process, with senators from both parties often looking beyond the actual confirmation hearings to the future, more concerned with setting the parameters for any future nominees than the task at hand. All a bit too politicized for my liking.

Don't be too smart for your own good

2009-07-12T01:35:00.002+08:00

That's basically the message of Duplicity, when Julia Roberts and Clive Owens' characters finally realize what's gone down.

Some would say the show itself is almost too intelligent for its own good, for - and I quote Michael - 'the average Singaporean isn't going to get this'. I'd like to have more faith in the average Singaporean, but alas, I do have my doubts. Let's put it this way - if you're reading my blog you'll probably get it pretty easily.

The movie's very jet-set, starting off in Dubai and running through Rome, London, Miami, the Bahamas, Zurich and various other locales while New York City (where else?) looms in the present. I like.

Ok I intended to type out something longer but the words are just not flowing freely tonight urgh.

The Upshot

2009-07-11T05:45:00.001+08:00

In the future, the Straits Times should seek to hire more Journalists (without the hang-ups) and less Mediawhores

So...

2009-07-08T13:29:00.006+08:00

I caught the MJ memorial last night (wondering whether the fact that I didn't feel the urge to shed a tear at any point during the broadcast made me heartless or worse, un-American - so many peeps on JJB were saying that they were choking up or just plain bawling and I really didn't understand it) and so woke up rather late - by my standards - today, at almost 1.

Then I see an SMS from an unknown number asking if I was commencing internship at R&T today or whether there was a change of plan that said person was unaware of. Of course, that was the first time I heard about this internship myself. I applied early in the year, got no response, called and spoke to someone who said that she'd try and find a place for me but never responded. I called once to check, only to be told that she was on leave and would get back to me. Since she never did, I presumed they didn't manage to find anything and decided that I didn't need a 4th internship anyway.

I think I've done enough this summer, so am quite happy to have these next 2 weeks to myself to handle the mountain of personal admin I need to do before I leave. But yeah, the fact that I missed the opportunity - for now anyway - to intern with a team led by Singapore's top insolvency lawyer (those in the know will know who haha) is kindda sucky.

Damnit that it is one nerdy post. Anyways, having a reunion of the fab 6 tonight, we haven't seen each other in ages! Can't wait!

In other news, brunch on Sunday with Chery, the Kok, Teri and Marianne at Graze was great! I'd love to spend every Sunday that languidly. ^That was what I had, can't remember what its called now but it was really delicious. ^^Jared's looked even better.

Monday was pure bitch-fun with Leonard and Meng, and I discovered the joys of Indonesian mee goreng.

Tuesday was - what I'm proud to say has now become a regular thing - Bodypump at Bugis followed by dinner and desert (and unfortunately, still the best conversation I can find anywhere) with my favorite mistake.

Brevity is the soul of wit

2009-07-03T12:34:00.002+08:00

Cheryl I learnt a new phrase from the book you bought me! Doesn't it sound so intelligent haha?

I'm sitting here at my desk, with an awesome view of Tanjong Pagar/Chinatown, counting down the hours to the end of my internship with CC. Its been an enjoyable 4 weeks - the work wasn't as heavy as I expected (and I'm quite glad for that really, although zipping out of the office prompty at 5.30 most days made me feel rather guilty), but I do have a better idea of what corporate work is like, and it isn't as mind-numbingly painful as I thought. So it isn't exactly "fun", but only the most passionate litigators would find their jobs fun so...

The international bit is great. Initially I felt a tad intimidated, and to an extent I still feel like a relative outsider, but everyone is friendly and the Brits... gotta love the Brits. Their accents, their turn of phrase, their sharp witticisms, their ability to make the most mundane or matter-of-fact statements/observations funny, their dry humour. I love it. Don't think it'd be the same in a local law firm really, although I hope to be proved wrong on that count.

So what have I learnt? In terms of the hard law, I've picked up dribs and drabs, everything will probably be forgotten over the weekend. But in terms of work skills, I think (hope?) I've picked up two things.

(1) Sometimes, no matter how exhaustive your research, you won't be able to find anything on point, because there is nothing on point. Don't beat yourself up to much over it.
(2) Don't use (1) as an excuse for shoddy research, becasue these things can really bite you in the ass. Occasionally the answer is there if you look hard enough.

That may sound very banal, but I think anyone who has done a spot of legal research will understand what I'm talking about. It's important to approach a research task with the attitude that there IS something out there to be found, and not to think from the start, 'eh I don't think I'll find anything' (which I am guilty of). But if you've actually done proper research and nothing comes up, its equally important to realize that its not because of some deficiency or shortcoming in your abilities (guilty as charged too).

I hope to take these lessons with me, even as I move on to the next phase of my holidays, i.e. the bit where I slack and laze around idly for 2 weeks.

And then Taiwan and Vietnam, and then Drew, and then I leave. Gosh its all coming to an end so quickly, although I like the fact that I can say 'I'm seeing Britney live next month!!'

Later.

Its not hard for you to realize, she'll never be me

2009-07-01T00:13:00.002+08:00

Ooh I was telling Jin I never knew the full version of this song existed! I've had the version that ends after the first part of verse 2 for years, and always wondered what the full song would sound like. Over the years people would post what they purported to be the full song, but always turned out to be an extended loop. So I was very surprised to find this, an unreleased gem from the 'Britney' (Slave 4 U, Not A Girl, Overprotected) era.

When I am through with you, there won't be anything left

2009-06-30T00:28:00.003+08:00

After 13 weeks its finally over. Damages is the only TV show I would actually schedule my life around (yes I actually still watch shows on television at regular time-slots) and for good reason. The ending didn't disappoint, and Patty Hewes is a tough bitch for sitting though that conversation with Ellen after she had been stabbed.

So what's the Singapore equivalent? Working for an SC in Drew? Haha I wish.

Life always fucks with me, sometimes in nice, unexpected ways, but ultimately, I am still fucked. Time isn't on our side, and yet it seems to past so damn quickly the couple of times we've been together.

Oh well.

Thriller

2009-06-27T17:45:00.004+08:00

The King and the Princess in 2001
I was born a number of years after Michael Jackson's glory days. Indeed, by the time I became cognizant of music and pop culture, the stardust of the '80s had long settled, and all the magic of those heady days - when MTV was a fledging channel that actually played music, when MJ wowed the world with his music and moves, when Madonna was breaking barriers one conical bra at at time - I never experienced personally. So I can only imagine what it must have been like to grow up with Michael Jackson - I didn't.

My earliest memories were the Remember the Time video, and of how I would laugh as my brother would spoof 'Heal the World' by singing 'Michael Jackson, is an ah qua, the greatest ah qua in the entire human race...' - somewhat ironic with 20/20.

But at some point, good music is irresistible. I bought a greatest hits collection - and to this day it is the only MJ CD I own - titled 'Number Ones' and no matter what you think about his personal life, man he had great songs! My personal favorites include Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, Rock With You, Beat It, The Way You Make Me Feel, Smooth Criminal, Black or White, Blood on the Dance Floor, Man in the Mirror... I'm sure there are plenty of album tracks I would love if only I'd listen to them.

I was shocked when I found out. It started just like every other working day. I'd hear the alarm and swear in hokkien to myself, toss and turn for a bit, then plant myself in front of the TV while having breakfast. I almost didn't turn on the TV that morning because I was kindda late, but when I did and saw the headline on CNN I was just taken aback completely and literally exclaimed aloud to my mother. Like Sep 11, I don't think I'll ever forget where I was and what I was doing when I found out.

Its the ultimate cliche, but yes, his music will live on. Also somewhat ironic that he got his wish, in the sense that, as far as the pop culture figure "Michael Jackson" is concerned, he'll never grow old. Like Marilyn and James Dean, people will never see him as old, because they never got to. In death, he fulfilled his wish of being the Peter Pan of music.

Of course, the reality is not as glamorized - his parents have lost a son, his children have lost a father, his siblings their brother... and that is sad. But in terms of celebrity mystique, this may have been the ultimate act of self-preservation. Doesn't make it any less tragic or shocking though, I still can't believe it.

Up in the air

2009-06-24T19:29:00.003+08:00

Ok this is damn bo liao but here goes... (I was inspired by Meng's SIN - MAN thing)

SIN - LGK
SIN - PEN
SIN - BNE - MEL
SIN - SHA
SIN - SYD
SIN - KUL
SIN - MEL
SIN - JFK via FRA
SIN - LHR
SIN - HKG
SIN - BKK
SIN - SFO via NRT
SIN - KBV
SIN - NRT
SIN - HKG
SIN - JFK via PVG - PVG
SIN - HKT

Hmm that's not a lot really, but in a year's time I expect things to look substantially different :)
Or I could be featured on Air Crash Investigation...

Drama Much?

2009-06-22T23:54:00.003+08:00

Ok the whole Perez v BEP thing is just ridiculous. I've never been a fan of Will.I.Am or his Boom Boom Pow but Perez is just an overweight bitch who can't take what he dishes. He may have gotten a nick (c'mon its nothing more than that) on his excuse for a face - oh the irony of him calling Fergie fugly - but I'd like to see how that compares to the emotional scarring he's inflicted on people with his words. And he goes on and on about how physical violence should never be resorted to when he's inflicted so much emotional violence on so many people (celebrities they may be) over the years. The moron is either too thick to comprehend karma or too much of a self-centered, spoilt hypocrite. As I always like to say, if you can't take the heat, get out of the fucking kitchen.

Woah that's an angry start to what's supposed to be a happy and long-overdue post. I had quite the weekend and thought I should recount it for blog posterity. I did things I'd never usually do, with a mix of old and new company, and it was an enriching and rewarding experience.

So I'm waiting for Jin at the National Library (yeah what else is new right?) and happen to see JS, Rich and Seth walk through. I learn that there is a massive 7-11 somewhere in the Bugis region, although I have yet to personally corroborate this.

Jin arrives and instead of frequenting the usual places we decide to have dinner in Little India - specifically, a vegetarian restaurant with delicious mango lassi and enough curries and poupodam (is that how you spell it?) to satiate an empty stomach. We then take a rather long walk to the 24-hour shopping mecca known as Mustafa, which actually gets more crowded as the night goes on. It was really fun though. We did everything from admiring wide-screen plasma TVs to trying on wigs, looking at anti-Semitic books (I was, quite frankly, appalled that such a book was being sold in Singapore) to Spice Girl DVDs (they had live in Istanbul!), balancing on pointless leg exercise thinggums to pondering the utility of gigantic calculators and pens, picking out signs to hang outside Oxford Harvard Cambridge's office (Beware of Dog!) to admiring home improvement implements. I expect a lot from my time with Jin (oh god this sounds like the Eunice Olsen Nescafe ad), but the fun quotient of that night traipsing through Mustafa exceeded even my high expectations.

Saturday was spent transfixed for an hour while Damages played (I'm actually waiting for 2am to watch Damages tonight, zombie monster at work tomorrow be damned) and then Meng came and we drove to the airport to see Jerrine off. I don't care what anyone says, I love the biscuits at Popeye's! Had visions of my own farewell as Jerrine hugged her friends and loved ones, tears were still shed event though this isn't the first time. I suppose its never easy to tear yourself away from what is, to most people, still... home.

We drove down to town and met Dan, whereupon we proceeded to view the Steven McCurry exhibition. If you, like me, are wondering who that is, well, he's the guy who took the photo of the Nat Geo Afghan Girl. Yup. This was followed by a quick perusal of the Kangxi exhibition. I don't usually visit museums in Singapore, but that was actually a rewarding experience (plus it cost me nothing!). We walked over the Esplanade Bridge to Glutton's Bay for dinner, chillaxed at Starbucks for a long time, and then parted ways with Dan, retraced our path back in the direction of the Fullerton (all the while secretly admiring the skyline and the bay - which is so uncool right) and drove down to Cine (after a very long detour which eventually got us to the wrong destination - the Cathay) to watch Terminator with Christine, Abel and Samantha.

The movie was ok la. I was on the edge of my seat throughout. Not literally but you take the point. Its mostly the sound effects really. I HATE being late for movies but kept my mouth shut since I wasn't the one driving, although we did miss the first 15 minutes. There was this bizarre scene featuring a robot that looked a lot like Governor Schwarzenegger sans clothes. Very disturbing. And at this point one of the few things I remember about the movie. A lot of blockbusters are like that - you're sufficiently entertained throughout that 90 (or in this case 120ish) minutes, but after that everything is forgotten.

Meng dropped me off at Tanjong Pagar and I went in to say hello to Roro and friends. The whole bunch was there, in full force - Hadri, Matin, Zul and Tim who just got back that very night. Rohai was wearing a nice jacket-thing from Zara (women's department of course) and he introduced me to some of his friends. Went to Maxwell after where the main show at our table was simultaneously awkward and funny. And then yeah. Thanks to a little prodding from Rohai I did something I'd usually never dare to, and ended up having a great time :)

I'd love to recount it all here but well... even I have standards of public decency and shame. Couldn't stop thinking about you for most of today which is... hmm... interesting.

And so as my weekend concluded I found myself back in the company of Jin and Sam. We intended to have some fun and be productive at the same time, and I thought that painting his room would be the perfect combination. Well, it certainly wasn't for his walls, and I suspect Lily Chin was none too pleased. And Cecil gave me unsolicited advice on how to launder my clothes, which, if you have the privilege of being familiar with Cecil and her... steady... work ethic, is ridiculously funny. Jin dropped me off in town and I went back home a happy camper.

So that was my weekend. Monday started off great too, but I shall avoid blogging on it lest I stir up those pesky rumors that have been circulating in various quarters. Haha. I was thinking, on the way home, that I'm... very proud of our friendship. Despite all that we've been through, despite what people say about how we shouldn't be so close, we're still stubbornly... there for each other.

Ok that is all. Phew. Gonna shower and pack for tomorrow. Nightie nights!

Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you

2009-06-07T04:18:00.005+08:00

Towards the end of the night, this little ditty unexpectedly came on, and despite some great songs played earlier (Pokerface OMG!; Suck; Womanizer and Circus; When I Grow Up; Don't Stop The Music and Unfaithful etc), I had the most fun dancing to this. During the first chorus, we faced each other in a circle, arms over backs, and jumped in tandem. It was exhilarating. The lyrics were optimistic ('live every second like it was my last one') but slightly melancholy ('I loved you once, needed protection'), the melody poignant, the song spoke to me in a way few songs do.

Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

You're still a part of everything I do, you're on my heart just like a tattoo

And the bridge, oh the bridge.

Top 20 album sellers of the 2000s (in the US)

2009-05-31T18:43:00.003+08:00

Unlikely to change much, since we only have a few more months to go and sales these days are so abysmal

Chart Watch Extra: The Top 20 Album Sellers Of The 2000s
Posted Fri May 29, 2009 10:52am PDT by Paul Grein in Chart Watch

Eminem, who was born 2-1/2 years after the Beatles broke up, is the only artist who has sold more albums in this decade than the fabled foursome. Eminem's new album Relapse sold 608,000 copies this week, lengthening his lead as the artist who has sold the most albums in the 2000s. The rap superstar has sold 31,127,000 albums since the first week of January 2000. In second place: The Beatles, who have sold 27,591,000 albums in the same period. (That's not bad for a group that broke up in 1970.) The Beatles have done better in this decade relative to the competition than they did in the ‘90s, when they were the #5 album-selling act.

Only four of the top 20 album sellers of the 1990s also rank among the top 20 album sellers so far in the 2000s. The Fab Four is joined by Metallica, Alan Jackson and Celine Dion. Nielsen/SoundScan, which has tracked sales for Billboard since 1991, doesn't carry a list of the top album sellers of the 2000s on its site. But the information is all there, if you know where to look (and can do simple subtraction).

Garth Brooks and Mariah Carey, the top two album sellers of the 1990s, don't rank among the top 20 album sellers so far in the 2000s. Other ‘90s titans have slipped even more dramatically in this decade. Michael Bolton, who sold more than 20 million albums in the ‘90s, has sold just 1,809,000 albums since January 2000. Vince Gill, who sold more than 15.5 million albums in the ‘90s, has sold 2,825,000 albums in this decade. Yanni, R.E.M., Boyz II Men, Alanis Morissette, Billy Joel and Van Halen have each sold less than 5 million albums in this decade, also a far cry from their ‘90s tallies.

Seven of the top 20 album-selling acts so far in the 2000s are country, six are rock, four are pop and three are rap. This represents a big gain for rap (none of the top 20 acts of the 1990s were rap). Five of the top 20 acts first hit The Billboard 200 in this decade. Four others had charted in the 1990s, but didn't rank among Nielsen/SoundScan's top 200 artists of that decade. Thus, 9 of the top 20 artists so far in the 2000s registered in a big way only in this decade.

Here are the 20 acts that have sold the most albums since the first week of January 2000. The number immediately after the artist's name is the total number of albums that the artist has sold in this decade. I also identify when the artist first cracked The Billboard 200, and the title of their best-selling album since January 2000.

1. Eminem, 31,127,000. First charted: 1999. Eminem, 36, is the top male artist and the top rap artist so far in this decade. His 2000 album The Marshall Mathers LP is his best-seller. It has sold 10,178,000 copies.

2. The Beatles, 27,591,000. First charted: 1964. The Beatles have sold more albums in the 2000s than any other group, rock act or foreign act. Their 2000 compilation 1 is their best-seller. It has sold 11,402,000 copies. The Beatles were the #5 album-selling act of the 1990s.

3. Tim McGraw, 24,295,000. First charted: 1994. McGraw, 42, is the #1 country artist so far in the 2000s, nosing out Toby Keith. McGraw was the #38 album-selling act of the ‘90s. His 2000 compilation Greatest Hits is his best-selling album of the decade. It has sold 5,995,000 copies.

4. Toby Keith, 24,189,000. First charted: 1993. Keith, 47, is the #2 country artist of this decade. His 2003 album Shock'n Y'All is his best-seller. It has sold 4,420,000 copies.

5. Britney Spears, 22,937,000. First charted: 1999. Spears, 27, is the youngest artist on this list, edging out Josh Groban by one year. She is also #1 female artist in this decade. Her 2000 album, Oops!...I Did It Again, is her best-seller of the decade. It has sold 9,183,000 copies. Spears was the #108 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

6. Kenny Chesney, 21,396,000. First charted: 1996. Chesney, 41, is the #3 country artist of this decade. His best-selling album is 2004's When The Sun Goes Down, which has sold 4,111,000 copies.

7. Nelly, 21,206,000. First charted: 2000. Nelly, 34, is the #1 new artist to emerge in this decade, edging out Linkin Park. He's also the #1 African American artist, edging out Jay-Z, and the #2 rap artist. Nelly's 2000 debut, Country Grammar, is his best-selling album. It has sold 8,454,000 copies.

8. Linkin Park, 21,125,000. First charted: 2000. Linkin Park is the #2 rock group of the decade, behind the Beatles. It's also the #2 new artist. The band's 2000 debut album, Hybrid Theory, is its best-seller. It has sold 9,600,000 copies.

9. Creed, 20,398,000. First charted: 1997. Creed is the #3 rock group of the decade. 1999's Human Clay is the band's best-selling album. It has sold 9,480,000 copies since January 2000. Creed was the #167 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

10. Jay-Z, 19,379,000. First charted: 1996. Jay-Z, 39, is the #3 rap artist of the decade. 2003's The Black Album is his best-selling album of this decade. It has sold 3,338,000 copies. Jay-Z was the #152 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

11. Nickelback, 19,158,000. First charted: 2000. The Canadian group is the #2 foreign act of this decade (after the Beatles). Nickelback is also the #3 new artist and the #4 rock group. 2005's All The Right Reasons is its best-seller, with sales of 7,159,000 copies.

12. Josh Groban, 19,115,000. First charted: 2001. Groban, 28, is the #1 pop male artist of this decade. He's the #4 new artist. The pop/classical star's 2003 album Closer is his best-seller, with sales of 5,746,000 copies.

13. Rascal Flatts, 18,831,000. First charted: 2000. The trio is the #1 country group of this decade, nosing out Dixie Chicks. It's also the #5 new act. 2004's Feels Like Today is the act's best-selling album. It has sold 5,134,000 copies.

14. Metallica, 18,490,000. First charted: 1984. Metallica is the #1 hard rock act of the decade (unless you count the genre-bending Linkin Park). The band's 1991 blockbuster Metallica is the band's best-selling album of this decade. It has sold 3,691,000 copies since January 2000. Metallica was the #3 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

15. Alan Jackson, 18,479,000. First charted: 1990. Jackson, 50, is the oldest solo artist on this list, edging out Toby Keith. 2002's Drive is his best-selling album of this decade. It has sold 3,508,000 copies. Jackson was the #17 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

16. *NSYNC, 18,402,000. First charted: 1998. The boy band is the #1 pop group of this decade (assuming you classify the Beatles as rock). *NSYNC's 2000 album No Strings Attached is its best-seller, with sales of 11,111,000 copies. The quintet was the #80 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

17. Dixie Chicks, 18,293,000. First charted: 1998. The female trio is the #2 country group so far in this decade. 2002's Home is the act's best-selling album of this decade. It has sold 5,997,000 copies. Dixie Chicks was the #105 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

18. Johnny Cash, 17,860,000. First charted: 1958. The country legend, who died in 2003 at age 71, is the most surprising name on the list. He made it on the strength of an enormous catalog and a renewed focus on him after his death. His 1999 compliation 16 Greatest Hits is his best-seller of the decade. It has sold 2,846,000 copies since January 2000.

19. Kid Rock, 17,606,000. First charted: 1999. Kid Rock, 38, is the #1 male rock artist of this decade. Kid's 2001 album Cocky is his best-seller of the decade. It has sold 5,045,000 copies.

20. Celine Dion, 17,579,000. First charted: 1991. The Canadian diva, 41, is the #2 pop female artist of this decade, behind Britney Spears. Dion's 1999 greatest hits album, All The Way...A Decade Of Song, is her best-seller in the decade. It has sold 4,971,000 copies since January 2000. Dion was the #4 album-selling act of the ‘90s.

The Fine Print: Artists who emerged very early in the decade stood a much better chance of making this list than artists who emerged later on. Sales peaked around 2000, and have been dropping since about 2004. So it's hard for even the hottest acts of recent years to compete with the stunning sales totals from the turn of the last decade.
Also, when I refer to the best-selling artists of the ‘90s, I'm referring to the period from May 25, 1991, when Nielsen/SoundScan began tracking sales for Billboard, through the last week of 1999.

Jordin Sparks' new single

2009-05-15T21:46:00.002+08:00

Wow. Produced by Ryan Tedder - Bleeding Love, Halo etc. At first it seems like standard pop-lite Jordin but just wait for the chorus and middle 8 to kick in.

(Much Belated) Bintan

2009-05-09T00:26:00.008+08:00

An hour and fourty-five by ferry from Tanah Merah, a completely different world. When we decided to take a break from the city and spend the weekend by the beach, Bintan seemed a logical choice - relatively cheap, accessible and pristine enough. But after failing to find a suitable resort in the Singapore-lite Bintan Lagoons sector (which is actually fenced off from the rest of Bintan Island), we decided to stay at a resort in the "real" Bintan.

Thus we alighted at Tanjung Pinang, a bustling town of 150,000 people, although, regrettably, the constraints of time meant that we did not get to wander around. Instead, we were whisked away in a minivan to our resort. I did, however, make an effort to look out the window and was struck by how different the surroundings were, even though Singapore was less than a couple of hours away. The favoured mode of transport was the scooter, and whole families (of four, baby in tow!) seemed able to balance precariously on them as they zipped about a town that, while bustling, was bereft of any of the brands and icons that have become so much a part of our cityscape. There was no McDonald's, no 7-11s, and certainly no Starbucks Coffee. I know right? How do these people live?

We were initially disappointed by a whimpy wading pool next to the reception, but a much larger pool awaited us at the back of the resort, by the beach.
All meals were consumed within the 'four walls' (couldn't resist guys) of the resort, either at the cafeteria by the pool or at this pavilion at the end of a long bridge, over the lapping waves of the South China Sea.
A vivid memory was eating to our heart's content, at very reasonable prices, and craning our necks to gaze at a sky full of stars, reminiscent of glitter sprinkled liberally over a dark canvas (ok la glitter's not exactly the right word but I'm trying to be all metaphorical here). Unfortunately the I-phone camera (yes these are all taken with my phone) was completely unable to negotiate this particular scene.

The sea was seductively inviting from far, although the beach itself was rocky and full of seaweed. Thus we spent our time lounging by the pool, with the intention of subsequently heading out to one of the outpost islands for snorkeling. Alas, that was not to be, for too much of the former rendered us burnt crispy, wanting to do ANYTHING but get under the sun after the second day. One must never visit a resort without some form of... external pampering, and I succumbed to the temptation of a foot massage cum pedicure, the effects of which are still visible after what, more than a month?All that for $20 sing dollars.

Yeah that's basically it actually! It was a short sojourn... I just really needed a break stat. And this is the first of what I hope to be a series of features on my travels, which I do consider a significant aspect of my life. I do apologize if the writing is somewhat unprofessional, but its been such a long time since I've actually written at length on a topic not related to law, and I really don't have the time or patience to think so everything's pretty much stream-of-consciousness. Hope the pictures make up for it.

Oh I got stung by SOMETHING on the first night which caused my upper lip to swell, giving my already abundant lips even more volume... not sexy AT ALL
A comment only Tong would make: 'Ah, a heavy upper lip, a heavy heart'

Meh

The 'grand dame of the corporate legal scene' - from her firm's website not mine - in action

2009-05-07T03:46:00.005+08:00

She's well-maintained for her age, I'll give her that. The burning need to prove herself by her various qualifications is very... familiar no? This video's the full speech which wasn't shown in most clips, and she pulls out the 'death threat' card again at the end. Oh Su Mien, we've heard it all before.

This is them leaving. Notice the extended embrace at the end

Fav Quote of the DAY

2009-05-07T02:06:00.003+08:00

Jess: Have you guys heard of [the law firm] TS Oon & Bazul?
Seetal: Oh ya ya my friend told me if you're really desperate [for an internship] you can try them
Jess:...thanks ah I'm going there

I've always liked this

2009-04-19T01:48:00.006+08:00

I remember her promoting this on Ally McBeal. And always found the huge T-I-N-A in the background so alluring. Haha yet another stereoypical moment. So it wasn't quite 'Believe' but a great song nevertheless.

Oh and this one is great too.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die...

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop...

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye...

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on,
So I'm already gone

Reaching the peak

2009-04-12T00:20:00.003+08:00

Of my life (isn't it supposed to be somewhere in one's 20s?)
We're not going downhill just yet though.

So the day started out with a sort-of unexpected pleasant surprise and ended, well... in an absolutely exciting way. Haha.

Thanks everyone for the calls, the SMSes, the wall posts and the effort.

So...

2009-04-11T03:05:00.003+08:00

I may have thought it looked feminine at first blush, and my gosh your paper-cutting skills leave much to be desired, but they were perfect (even the passive-aggressive tone of some of the text haha). Loves them. And loves (no, not in *that* way) you :)

Impressive

2009-04-03T00:06:00.002+08:00

So Billboard Boxscore figures are in

Rank
Artist/Event
Venue
City/State
Event Dates
Gross Sales
Attend/
Capacity
Shows/
Sellouts
Prices
Promoters

1
Marco Borsato
Sportpaleis
Antwerp, Belgium
March 13-28, 2009
$6,849,720
123,130 /
126,838
9 /
0
$63.43, $57.02, $55.74, $37.80
The Entertainment Group

2
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
Prudential Center
Newark, N.J.
March 13-14, 2009
$3,865,005
33,535 /
33,535
2 /
2
$153, $68, $39.50
Concerts West/AEG Live

3
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
Air Canada Centre
Toronto, Ontario
March 18-19, 2009
$3,714,316
37,912 /
37,912
2 /
2
$122.58, $54.03, $31.85
Concerts West/AEG Live

4
Sound Relief: Kings of Leon, Kylie Minogue, Midnight Oil, Gabriella Cilmi, Hunters and Collectors, Augie March, Bliss N Eso with Paris Wells, Jack Johnson, Jet, Kasey Chambers, Shane Nicholson, Troy Casser Daley, Liam Finn, Paul Kelly, Split Enz, Wolfmother
Melbourne Cricket Ground
Melbourne, Australia
March 14, 2009
$3,660,943
81,606 /
81,606
1 /
1
$59.65, $44.73
Sound Relief by arrangement with Frontier Touring Co.

5
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls (March 11 only)
Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum
Uniondale, N.Y.
March 11, 23, 2009
$3,623,790
33,549 /
33,549
2 /
2
$153.50, $69.50, $39.50
Concerts West/AEG Live

6
Iron Maiden, Lauren Harris
Estacionamiento del Poliedro
Caracas, Venezuela
March 5, 2009
$2,721,025
17,521 /
20,000
1 /
0
$233.32, $81.66
Evenpro/Water Brother

7
Iron Maiden, Lauren Harris
Autodromo de Interlagos
Sao Paulo, Brazil
March 15, 2009
$2,408,636
46,290 /
50,000
1 /
0
$152.87, $30.57
Evenpro/Water Brother/Mondo Entretenimento

8
Bette Midler
The Colosseum at Caesars Palace
Las Vegas, Nev.
March 24-25, 27-29, 2009
$2,277,609
14,973 /
19,224
5 /
0
$250, $175, $140, $95
Concerts West/AEG Live

9
Billy Joel & Elton John
St. Pete Times Forum
Tampa, Fla.
March 5, 2009
$2,141,042
19,401 /
19,401
1 /
1
$179.75, $54.25
Live Nation

10
Elton John & Billy Joel
Toyota Center
Houston, Texas
March 19, 2009
$2,125,479
16,612 /
16,612
1 /
1
$177, $51.51
Live Nation

11
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
American Airlines Arena
Miami, Fla.
March 7, 2009
$1,972,928
18,644 /
18,644
1 /
1
$127.75, $97.75, $54.75, $39.25
Concerts West/AEG Live

12
Billy Joel & Elton John
BOK Center
Tulsa, Okla.
March 17, 2009
$1,940,793
17,335 /
17,335
1 /
1
$179, $53.50
Live Nation

13
Iron Maiden, Lauren Harris
Club Hipico
Santiago, Chile
March 22, 2009
$1,932,820
51,657 /
54,000
1 /
0
$40.07, $34.84
Evenpro/Water Brother

14
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
Bell Centre
Montreal, Quebec
March 20, 2009
$1,911,733
21,234 /
21,234
1 /
1
$119.05, $104.76, $79.37, $51.59
Concerts West/AEG Live/Gillett Entertainment Group

15
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
TD Banknorth Garden
Boston, Mass.
March 16, 2009
$1,909,235
16,659 /
16,659
1 /
1
$152.50, $67.50, $39.50
Concerts West/AEG Live

16
Elton John & Billy Joel
AT&T Center
San Antonio, Texas
March 21, 2009
$1,893,547
17,203 /
17,203
1 /
1
$179, $53.50
Live Nation

17
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
Verizon Center
Washington, D.C.
March 24, 2009
$1,859,147
18,160 /
18,160
1 /
1
$128, $98, $55, $39.50
Concerts West/AEG Live

18
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
St. Pete Times Forum
Tampa, Fla.
March 8, 2009
$1,818,011
18,929 /
18,929
1 /
1
$127.75, $97.75, $55, $39.50
Concerts West/AEG Live

19
Fleetwood Mac
Madison Square Garden
New York, N.Y.
March 19, 2009
$1,708,005
14,955 /
15,258
1 /
0
$175, $45
Live Nation

20
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
Philips Arena
Atlanta, Ga.
March 5, 2009
$1,695,449
17,194 /
17,194
1 /
1
$129, $99, $55, $39.50
Concerts West/AEG Live

21
Leonard Cohen, Paul Kelly
Melbourne Park, Rod Laver Arena
Melbourne, Australia
Feb. 5, 10, 2009
$1,605,568
17,567 /
17,700
2 /
1
$109.90, $77.57
Frontier Touring Co.

22
Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls
New Orleans Arena
New Orleans, La.
March 3, 2009
$1,604,815
16,810 /
16,810
1 /
1
$127, $97, $55, $39.50
Concerts West/AEG Live

In this economic climate, I never expected such great figures. Hmm. Pretty amazing. All sell-outs sommore!

I Wanted My Steak Sandwich

2009-03-27T00:24:00.002+08:00

And I got more than I bargained for - 5 to be exact. Morton's was great, except that my contacts gave me a lot of trouble for a while. Marina Barrage was, dare I say it, rather magical. We went from one extreme to the other, Tiong Bahru market to Majestic Bar. It was fun. I laughed a lot.

Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated

2009-03-22T22:09:00.002+08:00

So... I changed my mind. It'd be a pity to let this blog stagnate, considering its been going for such a long time. And I suspect I'll be too lazy to start another blog for travel anyway.

These past few months, I wondered why I continued to be hung up on you. Today something clicked. I simply stopped wallowing in self-pity (I dunno, maybe I finally exceeded my quota) and got over myself. And then just like that, I got

Pokerface (and this is my final post here on craptasticqueer)

2009-03-18T01:11:00.013+08:00

So you showed your cards and I crumbled like a deck. I suppose that's what happens when you continually up the stakes. You win, you win big. You lose, you lose big. And I really should have known that I would lose in the end. But like the gambler that refused to quit, I continued to pour more and more into a prospect that seemed increasingly unlikely with each passing day. Why? Because I believed in following my heart.

I will not feel bad for having loved. It's a wonderful feeling. Yes the consequences are dreadful, the damage may be almost irreparable, but it was better for me to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. I will not turn into a cold, unfeeling, bitter person, because that is not who I am.

Tears will be shed, pain will be felt, but I will emerge from all of this a stronger person. In some ways I already am.

I always enjoyed talking to you before we went to sleep. It was funny, it was comfortable and at times, it was bizarre. It was us. One night, you were curled up on the mattress on the floor, and (perhaps in your semiconscious) asked me whether I would love you tomorrow - I said yes - and whether I would love you the day after - and I hesitated for a moment before saying that I would always love you in some way.

I would say the same thing even now, even tonight, because you will always have a piece of me.

Goodnight.

P.S. thanks to everyone who's bothered to read my garbage for the past what... 3 and a half years. Its time to move on (I swear this has nothing to do with the blog being turned into lecture slides), I hope to have a travel blog or something, ya'll will hear about it when I do get down to it.

I miss you already.

2009-03-17T01:22:00.002+08:00

I just want to disappear from the face of this planet. Painlessly and without causing pain to anyone (like my parents). So that all this can just go away and every waking moment won't be so agonizing... because there will be no more.

Paranoid Android

2009-03-12T20:22:00.002+08:00

Is going to end up killing the golden goose.

Or himself.

One day.

2009-03-10T02:28:00.002+08:00

But life doesn't ask you what you want, it's just gonna have its way.
Sometimes it doesn't give like it takes.

Being In Law School

2009-03-03T00:52:00.004+08:00

What's up with the title you ask? Sometimes the most mundane routines, the ones you tend to overlook, the ones you profess to hate, can yield great memories if you'd only stop and reflect.

And I would like to reflect on my day.

1) Lunch with Andrea, Leon and Robo - asking people whether they define themselves according to their nationality or race, Leon's 'Majority Non-Issue' theory, Andrea's 'our children are our parent's children' theory (which I DO agree with FYI!) and Robo's expounding on Buddhism... Talking to ZX while he waits for food - OH THE FOOD DEAR GOD DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE FOOD!!!

2) Going for useless lecture and falling asleep - nothing new.

3) Waiting with Jin for the shuttle bus to KR at the bus stop. And waiting. And waiting. And then he decides to drive so I follow him to the "secret carpark" where he already has gotten a warning and he drops me off outside the Summit. Unusually short time together but nevertheless always worth it.

4) Back to classroom trying to type out my part of long letter.

5) Dinner with Andrea and Leon, fabulously riotous as usual. We feed Tom the cat (I DON'T CARE HE'S MALE!)... and try to kill a fly with a food tray.

6) Study room. Type type type.

7) Steal some time to sit with Sam and Cheryl (and Sam Wee who joined us for a while) and munch cookies. Comfort simply in their presence.

8) Con Sam into following me to the vending machine hahaha.

9) Study Room, trying to type, looking at questionable photos on Facebook, laughing and talking a little too loudly, people MUST be annoyed by us.

And all this in the context of general... suffering, trying to complete our assignment due on Tue at 10am, which was preceded by 3000 word essay last Monday and 3500 word essay last Friday.

Sam's right - even though everyone is suffering, its kindda... nice(?) - ok maybe another word FILL IN THE GAPS IN MY VOCAB WON'T YA?

Hmm... and people might read this and think 'huh that's it?', or 'what a sad life' but... somehow if you've been through what I have today, you'd feel... overwhelmed yes, frustrated yes, like a little bit of a loser HELL YES, but... some part of you also feels content. And happy. That you had these riveting conversations. That you laughed like a hyena throughout the day. That you have this amazing support system, in the midst of all the shit, these people who surround you and make you feel accepted and warm and cared for. Thanks guys for helping me get through the long testing days by being so generous with your companionship and laughter and concern. I don't feel this everyday la, but tonight, for some reason, I feel particularly blessed.

I miss New York

2009-02-26T00:24:00.005+08:00

The energy, the shopping, the fresh faces and surprises on every corner. Canyons of glass and stone and steel, the old and the new intermingled in one small island that packs such a punch.

And I miss the samazozis. Sometimes its easy to forget people you haven't seen in a while, but ever so often I'll remember what - mostly - great times we had and I wish the boys would just come back already.

Broken Strings

2009-02-19T20:58:00.006+08:00

This has been a regular fixture on my playlist since I rediscovered the joys of downloading music. I listen to it because its a beautiful song which encapsulates the feeling of falling out of love with someone, a subject which isn't broached as frequently as say, falling in love (Underneath the Stars), or missing someone (We Belong Together) or post breakup euphoria (So What).

I listen to it because misery enjoys a melancholic melody. Because sometimes I wish my strings were broken, they're better off that way when they're not being strum.

But alas my strings are resilient - after all they've been through, and despite the power of logic and reason, they refuse to snap.

Morbid Musings

2009-02-15T01:29:00.002+08:00

You know, since my flight from HK tp SG last year (bad turbulence), I've always wondered whether I'll ever have the bad luck to board a doomed plane. Especially since I love traveling and hope to fly a lot for work. And after this most recent plane crash in Buffalo... I've been having this sense of foreboding that one day - I don't know when, maybe next year, maybe 30 years from now - I will die in a plane crash. Hmm... we'll see what happens la.

If we were your mirrors

2009-02-13T01:01:00.002+08:00

You'd see a Jocular, Intelligent, Nonpareil, Entertaining, Selfless and Handsome boy.

I wanna hold 'em like they do in Texas

2009-02-08T22:37:00.004+08:00

I am in love with Lady Gaga. Caught the video for Pokerface on MTV yesterday (finally) and it was amazing. Everything a pop music video should be.

moremoremoremore!

I hope I don't regret it

2009-02-04T20:52:00.003+08:00

I made one of those big life-changing decisions today. I don't think I'm being overly dramatic in saying that, because if the smallest decisions we make multiply (the butterfly effect?) and lead to substantial changes, then basically choosing to spend a year of my life in another country must be a seismic shift. In doing so, I also brought the curtains down on something I'd wanted so badly since I heard about it - the NYU LLM double degree. Ultimately, I decided that I didn't need it at this point, and putting aside the prestige issue, I didn't think it was worth the money + risking a whole year on exchange.

But I do wonder if I took the easy way out. Instead of being patient and waiting for a year, I basically opted for more instant gratification. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. But I do wonder if I've somehow shortchanged myself in the process, choosing not to climb the mountain because I am afraid to fall.

And of course there are other reasons as well, reasons too eccentric to be verbalized, things you wouldn't like to hear about.

In any case now that the cards have been dealt, I'm going to make the best of it =).

Confessions

2009-02-02T00:40:00.008+08:00

Everyone is in the mood for confessing and honesty these days. But I do get the feeling that what is written in all those Facebook notes is not so much 25 things people don't know about you, but rather 25 things you want people to know about you. Does that make sense? It's all about selling yourself and projecting the image you want people to have. And to my friends who have written notes, this isn't targeted at any of you, I'm just reflecting on general observations :) (Haha don't not tag me in your notes because of this please).

I used to do the confessional thing on my blog from time to time, and yeah to be frank, it was always about 'what impression do I want people to have of me' rather than 'oh I'm going to be really honest'. Real honesty can burn you real bad. Trust me on that.

I met an acquaintance today, someone who wrote for me while I was editorial coordinator at Trev all those years ago (actually less than 2 la but ya know). And he's based in HK, writing for some financial magazine, gets to travel about half the month, has been to every country in East Asia except for Taiwan and North Korea, is currently putting up at the Ritz, and is turning the ripe old age of 25 this year. I was secretly rather envious that someone barely 2 years older than myself has had so much more life experience. But well, he is American so he didn't have to go through that vortex known as National Service.

And he just sent me a message on Fb that went, 'Nice to catch up with someone as interested in the world as I am.' Gosh. That is true you know. Why am I in law school ah? All I wanted a year (or even less) ago was to work in an international firm doing corporate law and hopefully making a lot of money. But there is so much more to life than that and I am way too interested in other things to just let that all go for a life of legal niceties and technical jargon.

What to do... what to do... my passion for law is dissipating with each passing day

Guilt post

2009-01-25T04:44:00.003+08:00

When Tong and Gerald told me they still read my blog I felt a pang of guilt for giving such shitty updates recently. This can be attributed to a variety of factors including (1) lack of time and; (2) my wish to keep some things where they belong i.e. in private haha. I'm well aware that whatever I put up here is fair game and decided not to write about certain issues, some of which formed a very large part of my life / feelings / consciousness over the past few months hence the lack of / cryptic updates.

But a page has been reluctantly turned and here I am, with what I hope is a blank slate, looking to update more regularly. It's coming to 5am and I'm not in the frame of mind to pen down anything remotely intellectual (indeed I rarely am). So I shall just keep it simple and give an account of my day.

After rushing to meet Keith at the gym (I was in danger of running late but made it just about in time in the end!) and a good workout, I rather strangely saw a blonde-haired boy seated outside the gym. Keith had to leave so I ended up sitting down there with this individual whose hair now adds another facet to an already diverse racial composition. Haha so I waited for Jin to finish gymming and we went to Haji Lane for a while but I had to leave almost immediately because I had agreed to meet Tong and Gerald at 7.45.

We had dinner at some place along Duxton Rd and then decided to... what else... LAN at Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. First up was DOTA which I especially suck at. After Gerald left we played one of the 'tower defence' variants which required us to defend this... golden tree (I think it went by another name), using characters named after those in LOTR. As always very addictive, and as always very hard to win. 'One more time', turned into 'must try again' turned into 'last game' X 3 or 4. Yup. Particularly jarring to Tong was the fact that I was out collecting tomes when the tree was being attacked - what can I say, I obviously have my priorities intact.

Speaking of which, my god I have done so little work so far it scares me.

Worst Hangover Ever

2009-01-19T20:36:00.002+08:00

Ok I know I am going to sound like a loser but... I am still hungover from Saturday night (it's Monday night now for those of you in different time zones). My head vaguely hurts, my mum persists in lecturing me about the ill-effects of alcohol and how 'as a student' I should not be 'doing this to yourself' during term time. Really annoying. And I am supposed to start on Public Law tutorial now but can't seem to get into that mode - so perhaps there is a kernel of truth to what my mum is saying.

All I want to do now is plan for my next holiday.

Back In Black

2009-01-10T08:16:00.004+08:00

Well well, I feel slightly dislocated, sitting at my desk after almost 26 days. I cannot possibly put more than 3 weeks of experience into words, but there are certain 'moments' that are worthy of mention - my first snow, ice-skating in Bryant Park, Central Park, Woodbury Common, the library of Congress, walking across the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset, taking in the view of Lower Manhattan from the promenade in Brooklyn, lounging in Cloud 9 on the 87th floor of the Hyatt in Shanghai...

And I must add random Christmas caroling and random NYE party at random Chelsea apartment to the list.

I have tons of pictures, and they may seem boring to most (because I like taking shots sans people), but to me they encapsulate the experience that was New York City, Washington D.C. and (sort of) Shanghai (wouldn't mind never returning there really).

So here's to the next holiday, wherever it may be.

Last Night

2009-01-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

It's ending very differently than I wanted it to. But I hope it all meant something to you.

Heartbreaker

2008-12-12T14:45:00.000+08:00

I won't be leaving here alive.

Ur Still

2008-12-05T16:01:00.002+08:00

The last thing I think about before I go to sleep, and the first thing that enters my mind when I rouse.

the priciest piece o' plastic eva

2008-11-29T23:46:00.003+08:00

I spent like several thousand dollars on this la. And many sian 6.30 am mornings, rushing to catch the train, usually being late or barely on time.

Oh well. Will come in handy when I get the Bentley I suppose. The past 2 days have been unexpectedly enjoyable. Which makes me very happy and sorta sad all at the same time.

My New Jam

2008-11-28T00:02:00.002+08:00

This song rocks my socks. I just came back from Starbucks HV which was infested with mo's haha. ZX came over for a while but realized he was too distracted so he left after like half an hour. And then these awful awful group of 4 unattractive women with very local intonations seized the sofas next to where I was and started yakking and laughing like a bunch of hyenas. I know they're entitled to do that since its a coffeehouse and all but it was really annoying.

okthxbye

You Did It Again

2008-11-21T19:38:00.002+08:00

Today, I inadvertently drew the last poison out of my misadventure of the past few months. It's doing damage, but at least everything has finally been detoxified.

I look back now at how everything panned out and wonder 'how the hell did I screw everything up so badly?'

It takes two hands to clap, of course, but my gosh my hand was just out of control, way outta whack. I became the very thing I swore I was not, I turned into the kind of person I professed to disdain - needy, neurotic, paranoid, unable to trust, despicable. And all that in the name of love? I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to profess my love for someone again if it brings out those aspects of me.

It was, ultimately, a selfish frolic of my own. I wasn't thinking about what you wanted. I was only concerned with what I wanted and what I decided you wanted and thought was in your best interests. And I screwed it up so badly.

The side effects are still ongoing, the process is still playing out, but I'm more convinced than I've been in a long time that I am incapable of genuine, self-sacrificial love.

It makes me sad. Because as crazy as it all sounds, I still think I wouldn't be happier with anyone else.

Driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue

2008-11-21T09:52:00.003+08:00

I was in Macs Beauty World (don't ask) with my AC friends Tong and Ee last night till 4. This came on the radio twice. And it sounded bloody good. Heaven knows I haven't given Nicole an easy time but she really does sing this song like her life (career?) depended on it.

OMG

2008-11-18T22:15:00.009+08:00

Wow. I came home to find this envelope on my table from 'Brooks Automation, Pte Ltd', and in my dazed state I was thinking, what the hell, am I like a member in this company receiving notice for an EGM or something...

And I then I open it thinking 'oh maybe there's anthrax inside someone's trying to kill me', and I prepare for the worst when I peep in and see a... CD. Yes, one of those shiny rounds things with a hole in the middle which no one uses - or indeed buys - anymore.

Lo and behold, I remembered what it is! My dad extracted all the files I had on Julius (my first I-pod who sadly died at the beginning of the year), put all the content on a CD, passed it to his friend to bring back to Singapore and that's why I got the letter from that strange company. I didn't even ask my dad to do anything actually - I couldn't remember WHAT I had stored on Julius (which is a good reason for leaving it to die and not having him extract it) - but he did anyway.

So I looked through the files, hoping that somehow, my 1000 plus songs would be in there, to no avail. Year one notes and muggers. Blah. I should add at this point that my laptop's hard disk (an Apple too for the record) ALSO died on me at the beginning of the year and I had to start over which was very painful.

But then I see it. 'My Pictures'. And I think to myself, IF U SEEK AMY (say it out loud, it's also a song from Circus out 2 Dec)! The most painful thing about having my hard disk die on me, apart from losing my LAWR memo THE NIGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SUBMITTED and having to spend the rest of my Sunday after JBJ - or was that other once-a-year play? - writing the thing out again from sheer memory and desperation (ok very long run on sentence but I don't have time to fuss with grammar), was losing all those pictures. Everything I had painstakingly built up over the years, my archive of pictures (oddly enough I don't care as much anymore), GONE.

I open the folder and... every fucking thing was there! I had no idea I even backed it up on Julius! I'm so happy right now really. Everything systematically arranged, in their respective folders, a rush from the past. And all my holiday photos! (aside from Tokyo but that's on FB anyway).

In honor of this... most unexpected and heartwarming occurrence, I shall proceed to dig into the archives

SAMAZOZIS!

Halloween '06, at CHOOKSY'S house the night we were SUPPOSED to be in Phuket, and at ZOUKOUT 06.

Law School - ish

Haha loves it, me, Meng and Jin back when I first met the latter (too many case summaries for one day sorry) - and what is he wearing ah, Sam's birthday 07 (Jin and Leon have the same hair!) and Andrea's NRA party!

AC!

Michael's 21st birthday cake. Notice the urm, Archie comic strip on the side. Hahaha at work (this was me doing the watch assembly thing guys) with Tong in the foreground. And the whole gang after my... 18th? birthday at Tony Romas.

And of course, HOLIDAYS!

KL 2004, with my very unfortunate hair... dressing... everything. Slut Paris Hilton at Macy's in San Francisco (Jin you know I just had to) and KRABI from last year.

Haha ok I've posted enough la. Hopefully this makes up for all those shitty posts of the past few months and well, the shitty posts ahead (considering that exams are like in a week's time). Ciao!

There are 2 types of people in this world

2008-11-18T13:47:00.001+08:00

The ones who entertain, and the ones who observe. I'm so bored in school I'm typing this from my phone since I left my laptop at home to concentrate - not working as you can see.

My Timetable

2008-11-12T19:34:00.003+08:00

I intended to finish leases by 11 in the morning, move on to the corporate capacity of a company, and be out of the house and in the gym by 2.

And then 11 came and went and I told myself: you're not leaving the house till you finish leases. Guess what? I never left. Still have a third to complete and am very frustrated by my procrastination. Among other things.

On the brighter side, I finished my essay for NYU =). I dunno I just got down to writing it and I did it yay!

Where I'm At

2008-11-10T15:01:00.008+08:00

Caveat: If this reads like something from lebullring, pardon me, I just read Meng's latest...

Life doesn't always go the way you want it to. You can spend hours dreaming, pondering, planning, scheming, wishing, hoping, trying, crying... but I think at some point fate does take its course. And when it does you're left feeling rather helpless. Useless, even.

But at least you tried. Obviously trying and consequently not succeeding does come with its fair share of frustrations - understandable, no one likes to fail.

I found myself pulled out raw, screaming and kicking, wondering how I was going to get through the week. I just did. And I feel a lot more settled now. At this moment I'm actually relieved to be out of that unhappy quagmire, seeing that the exams are mere weeks away. It would have been nearly impossible to concentrate with all those feelings whirling and twirling about, barging to the forefront of one's consciousness the moment one woke and only receding in slumber.

A great deal does feel unresolved, however. But at this point I have neither the time, emotional capacity or strength to plunge in again, so we chug along on the Status Quo Express.

So I guess the door is closed but not locked. It can't be, a key was never made. Ok enough bad analogy back to work.

Part of me laughs, part of me cries

2008-11-04T18:32:00.002+08:00

I reluctantly concede. You win.

Today I shed tears for the first time in a long time. But I'll be fine.

Just remember my request. Anytime, anyplace, if you ever find that pill somewhere.

The Internet Is For... Wasting Time

2008-11-02T16:43:00.003+08:00

Seriously.

I wanted to write a nice, long post on my weekend but I'm lazy. Avenue Q on Thurs was great. Very relatable la. Not exactly of course but I could draw out bits and pieces and commiserate with the sum. 'There's a fine line, between love and a waste of time'.

Fri was spent at the Law Soc quiz at Penny Black followed by the inaugural 'guys night out' with Jin and Leon. We ended up lying down on the grass in the middle of a roundabout off Boat Quay, after potent Kiwi margaritas (I took quite a lot of beer before that at the quiz and it wasn't half as heavy-head inducing). Only got home at 5ish in the morning.

Sat was gym with Jin at Bugis and then dinner, and then to Starbucks for... studying. I had a delicious nutty toffee thing that set me back $7.

And now I'm at home and bored and knowing I should be studying but unable to.

2008-10-29T22:58:00.003+08:00

Cat got your tongue? Kindly chop mine off.

One More Time

2008-10-27T02:26:00.003+08:00

One Year Ago

Saturday, October 27, 2007
Sell Me Candy
'When you really like somebody, you'll disregard all the warning signs, whatever people may say, and just follow what your heart tells you to.'

I just said the above over the phone. Which is irony at its finest because I was referring to someone else but might as well have been talking about myself. It was as though I was screaming to the person at the other end 'AND THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING BECAUSE I LIKE YOU!'

Sunday, October 28, 2007
Shock And Awe
Hmmm...I kept telling myself last night, as I looked around at the pretty/famous faces, that I was a pretty good catch myself and that you didn't deserve me. And then I looked at you. And it almost broke my heart in two.

Funny.

Its scary how that brief journey into 'lifestyles of the rich and famous' (dinner at damn nice 6th Ave bungalow) was exactly a year ago. And how much some things have changed since then, while some things haven't. Presently I am helpless as ever, although this is more a case of me not deserving you.

In trying to close the door on a big 'what if', I've invariably opened other little 'what ifs' from the past. And their ghosts have come back to haunt me.

You Are A...Comic?

2008-10-23T01:54:00.003+08:00

Comic = Carrie falling in Dior
Tragic = Me falling in... Holland Village, on the slippery pavement, because my slippers have worn soles. And then getting up to find macaroons damaged and people sniggering. I was bummed that my surprise fell through, but I guess the elements of comedy sort of made up for it.

The AC gang is nothing if not impromptu (and aging, but that's another story). Drinks and dinner in the insalubrious confines of Cheong Chin Nam morphed into Lena very kindly treating us to a not inconsiderable dinner overlooking the sea and drinks at Cafe Del Mar, all on that confused tourist trap, Sentosa.

Sitting in the lecture hall listening to the Registrar drone, I would never have envisioned myself back on that bridge thinggy from Siloso Beach to the breakwater, Strawberry Sangria in hand, Tong and Lena merrily dipping their feet in the less than pristine water (I was in pants and shoes and so refused to even sit down).

Its scary that we're talking jobs and getting married (well, some of us anyway). For all my intellectual maturity, I'm still that teenage boy who just wants to have fun and not concern himself with being a grown up.

And When I Grow Up, I don't need to be famous (although that would be nice), I really just want to be happy - although I'm not too sure about the content of that... feeling. What's it going to take? Love? Money? Accomplishment? Or a bit of everything?

Dubya

2008-10-18T02:42:00.002+08:00

Who do think you are? A Kennedy? You're a Bush, act like one!

Can't wait for this.

Gloat

2008-10-16T23:28:00.005+08:00

I think I've earned that at the very least, after almost 10 years. It was real close. TI's Whatever You Like was greatest gainer in sales and is #1 in airplay (the Hot 100 is basically a composite chart of sales and airplay), and TI ft. RiRi's Live Your Life was greatest airplay gainer and #2 in sales, but Womanizer sold enough to squeak to #1 even though airplay currently ranks at #40 something (that's a whole other story there). And it even set 3 records along the way 1) Highest first week digital sales for a female artist ever (besting Touch My Body by a few hundred copies, although that was released over a period of 7 days to Womanizer's 6); 2) Biggest jump to #1 on the Hot 100; and 3) Biggest jump on the Hot 100. Smokin'!

Interestingly (to me anyway), one year ago Gimme More was #6 having spent 2 weeks at #3 after being released digitally, five years ago Me Against The Music ft. Madonna entered at #50 (eventually peaking at #35 - this was in the pre-digital era) and ten years ago, well, Baby One More time was released.

Speaking of Madonna, well, its sad. I've been listening to her new single 'Miles Away' recently and it couldn't have been released at a more appropriate time.

I just woke up from a fuzzy dream
You never would believe the things that I have seen
I looked in the mirror and I saw your face
You looked right through me, you were miles away

All my dreams they fade away
I'll never be the same
If you could see me the way you see yourself
I can't pretend to be someone else

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best when we're miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

When no one's around then I have you here
I begin to see the picture, it becomes so clear
You always have the biggest heart,
When we're six thousand miles apart

Too much of no sound
Uncomfortable silence can be so loud
Those three words are never enough
When it's long distance love

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we’re at our best when we're miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

I'm alright, don't be sorry, but it's true
When I'm gone you'll realize
That I'm the best thing that happened to you

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best when we're miles a-a-away...

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, we're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best when we're miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

Yowzers thats it for now!

Hips Don't Lie

2008-10-08T19:43:00.002+08:00

On a whim, I decided to join Jin for hip hop at Cali today. Let's just say that I suck really bad but at least I tried something different (and indeed something I've always wanted to do).

I have a vague headache now from half-sleeping (ie. not really sleeping and not really staying awake either) for the past few hours. In the future, when in doubt, just sleep. It's ridiculously hard to concentrate when you have what feels like a big... blob of matter - weighing on your head.

Been finding it very hard to concentrate on work recently. Or to motivate myself. All the allures of yore - the NYU degree, the plump student exchange, the starting salary of an International (or even better, and more deluded, a White Shoe) law firm - no longer hold the attraction they once do. Who am I kidding, the latter still does haha. But I have more perspective now, I'd like to think.

One step at a time.

Oh oh oh one 'Womanizer' currently sits pretty at number one on American I-Tunes, after less than 24 hours. TPOB indeed!

Eat Sleep Shop And Be Merry

2008-10-02T23:59:00.004+08:00

Basically what Jin and I did today. After what was an eternity of mindless net surfing and fighting to stay awake, we threw in the towel, left CLT lecture during the break, and went... to the student lounge thinking we could use the brand new Guitar Heros but seeing that we had to sign it out and there was no one in the Law Club room, we made ourselves at home on the sofas and slept. And I woke up not too long after but Jin slept. And slept. Until CLT was over and some people came in wanting to play Guitar Heros and were confronted with this... figure... grey hood over his face, half sitting half lying like a corpse. They were debating how best to rouse him from his slumber but well, I came in just at that moment and did the honors.

Having fulfilled our Z quotient, we headed down to town intending to gym but got sidetracked in Muji Paragon, missing Body Pump and being confronted by the usual crowds that throng Cali Orchard on a weekday night. 'Ok fuck it.' We went to the Cathay instead for Aston's but the queue was crazy and we ended up at the 99 cent sushi place in the basement... GUYS THE SAME ONE AS IN NOVENA! But Novena's portions somehow seem bigger and fresher, with more diverse selections, probably because its in Inland Revenue House or something. Still, *cue refrain* 'it's only 99 cents!'

I told you so moment of the day.

*Simon trying to balance one plate of sushi in one hand and another 2, one stacked on the other, in the other hand*
Jin: Hey, are you sure you want to do that, you might drop them.
Simon: No I won't.
*Proceeds to walk back to table and while walking down a slope, sushi on top of the other starts to get displaced, and in a poor attempt at balancing, ends up dropping both the Unagi and the Salmon sushi on the floor*

*Simon walks back to Jin who is still at the belt deciding what he wants and very much unaware of what has happened*
Simon: Get me what I just ordered.

Haha. I really should know better. But yeah my day was just, very normal and yet in that normalcy is something very meaningful.

Days Go By

2008-10-01T19:33:00.005+08:00

Two and a half months to go! I'm very excited! Although we don't have accommodation, and although we have no idea where else we wanna go, and what we wanna do, the mental images of just walking down this

sends a tingle down my spine. And the many many other places in NYC and in wherever else we go. And don't worry I promise I will not be like I was in Tokyo.

Coming Down Like The Dow Jones

2008-09-30T22:33:00.002+08:00

I felt light today. Driving test over (and coming again in Nov grrr), property assignment submitted, and company presentation done, I finally felt the brief respite that I believe the Sem break was supposed (and failed) to provide. As I walked home today, rain beat down on my face and my jacket glistened under the streetlights, and it felt like a physical manifestation of all my concerns being washed away, at least for the rest of the day. And then the grind starts again. But there's much to be happy for.

Anyways
1) Mama Mia was... ok. Nothing spectacular but quite enjoyable. Meryl has the strangest inflections sometimes
2) I'm saddened by JBJ's passing. He was a courageous man who fought for his convictions at whatever price. I think he would gladly have been a minister for a nominal sum, something which by their own tacit admission, I doubt our current ministers would do.
3) Unlike ZX, I am a capitalist at heart. When times are bad, people look to its follies and shortcomings, but when the bulls are running and the money is rolling, do we ever take time to appreciate it? The markets are destroying themselves and will emerge reincarnated sooner or later. Chill. I would buy shares now if I had the money... or rather if I could be bothered to go through the hassle (I don't know what my mum has done with my money) and was not so risk-adverse.

First verse is very... identifiable with.

Nu Brit

2008-09-26T18:55:00.003+08:00

OMG, in the sorrow of property essay and company presentation, this baby leaks...

Hit hit hit!

I love it. I have the same feeling (ie. 'this is gonna be HUGE') as when I first heard Umbrella (which is a good sign), when I first heard So What (which is a good sign), and when I first heard, urm, Feedback (oh no).

Balcony

2008-09-22T01:19:00.006+08:00

I've never paid much attention to my balcony - its where we hang out towels and washing, basically, and the floor is really dusty. As is so often the case, it took an outsider in the form of Tong to tell me that my balcony had, in his words, 'potential' (which is quite the statement from someone who has always called my house a dump - and I can't disagree really). Potential for what I'm not quite so sure, but there we were, in the wee hours of Saturday morning, smoking and letting the Peach Chardonnay settle.

Yes, the AC boys and Lena came over for a reunion of sorts, with sustenance and plenty of laughter to go round. It'd been a while since I've seen them as a group, and the feeling is always one of warm comfort and familiarity (these are people who have seen it all really, literally seen it all). The rather cozy blanket of nostalgia wrapped warmly around me, the cigarette smoke wafting in the air, the post-alcohol daze, all very good for calming my heightened nerves and numbing the pain and uncertainty I felt.

LAW IV musical tonight was good, better than I expected, and it was nice to know that Yalan wrote the script. I got most of it - the Boston Legal - esque breaking of the fourth wall, the allusions to our present predicament as lawyers, the innuendo (come or die) etc. Following which we headed to Breko's at Holland Village with Pat and ZX who joined us a little later.

I may be pushing too far, too fast... which is obviously not the best way to go about this but I really don't know how else to deal. It's new and unexplored and quite possibly dangerous, but I feel an inexorable need/consuming desire to plunge right in. I do hope the padding's strong enough.

Boo Hoo Hoo

2008-09-16T23:02:00.002+08:00

Continuing the trend of being unable to eat Summit food, we headed down to Coro for lunch and fortuitously, Meng was there too. We had lunch together before saying our goodbyes. It was sad having to say goodbye to him all over again, but on the bright side I may not have to wait a whole year for his next trip back home.

We also said our goodbyes to Kevin Gray and our applause said it all.

Jin and I then headed down to Biennale at City Hall and some former barracks place called South Beach Development, I believe. Some of the stuff was pretty memorable, I think my favorite was still the field of intricate plant-like structures that were all black when viewed from one end and then showed their true burst of colours when seen from the other. I was telling Jin we should be doing more different stuff like this. I had a lot of fun.

Choices choices. I've made some pretty big ones over the past couple of weeks, I think I'll be making a few more over the course of the year, but after today I'm all the more certain that for better or worse, I'm sure of what I want and will give it all I have.

This was from Meng's blog and I shall take the liberty of reproducing it here.

"other observations I have made:
the sun shines brighter, the birds sing sweeter, the grass is greener, the smiles are happier, the walks seem shorter, the colours seem more vivid, and the heart feels more.... ALIVE.

ok mushy disgusting rose-tinted glasses vision of love is almost over, I just want to add one more thing - never back down from something just because you think it won't go smoothly, sometimes all it takes is some guts and you can actually get what you want!"

I miss him already. And I'm always missing you, before the goodbye.

Don't You Think

2008-09-15T02:05:00.003+08:00

Isn't it ironic? Now that Obama is behind McPalin in the polls, he's running to the Clintons to help him win an election that by all accounts should have been a stroll in the park for the Democrats.

Why?

Because at the end of the day, only the Clintons can win elections for the Democrats

Maybe they should have thought long and hard about that before nominating Obama. And maybe Obama should have thought about that before passing over Hillary for VP.

I can't say that the prospect of a McPalin victory and Hillary running again in 2012 (and winning) doesn't send tingles down my spine. It'd be like Reagan - Reagan - Bush - Clinton all over again. Bush - Bush - McPalin - Clinton. That would make me very happy.

But as I said before, the prospect of another 4 years of the GOP in power is very unattractive.

So I'm going to be sitting on the fence come November.

Zero To Hero

2008-09-11T00:08:00.002+08:00

I rushed back home after dinner with Sam and Jin on Monday. $15 but it was worth it. I swear my heart skipped a little when I saw her emerge from the dressing room in that Versace number. The news headlines said it all, 'What A Difference A Year Makes'. One step at a time Brit Brit, one step at a time.

I'm going to listen to that Bebo Norman song now. Which I am going to post again.

I can see it coming back, yes I can see it coming back for you.

Let's Share Some Pie

2008-09-07T00:22:00.004+08:00

The past couple of weeks have been a rather novel experience, in that I've been eating quite a bit of academic humble pie. I mean, to be brutally honest, I really wanted in on Copenhagen and well, I didn't take part in Mallals with the intention of not getting through the first round. What's more, the semi-final topic is US Supreme Court-esque as arguments will be made with reference to the Constitution and the theory of separation of powers etc (that's how I would have approached it anyway), which all sounds like a lot of fun. Of course it'd have been really hard work too, so I guess that's looking at the glass half-full. As far as I'm concerned, Year One is over and the slate is wiped clean - anything I achieved as a freshman was great and all, but I'm looking forward and don't intend to rest on my laurels. Which makes the setbacks rather discouraging I suppose. But hey what can one do about these things? The vicissitudes of life.

Anyway, Jin and I watched Leonard's performance today and it was much better than I'd expected. The choreography was tight, some of the sequences were rather mesmerizing, and there was plenty of Leonard to see - ie. money well spent.

Gosh I'm about as interesting as a box of hair tonight.

I can't conceive a life without you and that scares me.

Drought

2008-08-25T21:46:00.003+08:00

I was on bullring today and realized that it has a counter with various perused blogs, and that my last update was 3 weeks ago, which is unpleasantly long by any standards. It may have something to do with the fact that I have been having a drought in terms of writing - while life has gone on and a lot of it has been blog-worthy, I just haven't found the time or effort to crystalize the random thoughts and recounts. So maybe I'm just plain lazy. Anyway, there's no better time then the present. I am in school, trying to get work done, more or less finished Company, so do not want to read the hundreds of pages worth of assigned CLT, so yeah, no better time than the present yes?

Fireworks. Yes fireworks. They were beautiful. I don't get that feeling of awe and magic in Singapore too often, and so it was a blue moon indeed when I found myself along the Esplanade, eyes transfixed on the night sky, with color and lights bursting in every which way, some of them disappearing almost as quickly as they appeared, some lingering a tad longer, slightly less ephemeral, falling slowly like gold dust, and others expanding rapidly outwards, as if coming towards you in a 'big bang' of sorts.

We were a mixed bag that night. And yet connected in the strange way that people in Singapore who have studied in the same category of schools for a period of their lives are connected.

School has been alright so far. Part of me wants it to get busier. That perverse side that believes a packed schedule is the hallmark of a successful person. The other part just wants to sink back into the languid days of the Summer past. But I guess we all have to face reality at some point.

Stuff

2008-08-03T01:31:00.003+08:00

Singing till my voice was (slightly) hoarse, shopping and dining with old friends, eating and chilling with new(er) ones. And a lot of magazine reading at Borders - everything from Time to W, the Economist to Vogue, Newsweek to the New Yorker...

I'm on a plane to nowhere,
And where I really want to go,
Well, no one flies there.

Wah

2008-08-01T12:03:00.000+08:00

Bitten Hard

2008-07-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

By the travel bug. To the point where I'm seriously considering squeezing in a small trip between now and school starting. But seriously, Singapore to Hanoi for 198 inclusive of tax (actually its exclusive but well, Tiger has these 'no tax and extra fees' promo right now, so what you see is what you get, if you can find the right dates)! Damn cheap. Carpe diem!

Sunset

2008-07-27T00:51:00.003+08:00

The holidays are almost over - how did I spend them? Not terribly productively, but I don't exactly regret that because I really needed to unwind and well, there's always next year ;-). After the Hong Kong trip, I'm actually very amenable to the idea of working there and uncharacteristically having the urge to brush up on my Mandarin. Rachel and I spoke precious little, and felt like idiots going around and not understanding what was being said to - and about? - us. Which must have struck them as strange because I suspect that many thought we were locals (someone even passed a leaflet as we walked past one of the Civic Party candidates who was just standing in Central during lunch break and speaking on the microphone to the streams of people walking by).

Watched X-Files with Marcus and his friend last night (his mum's company had extra tickets). The movie was actually good! Apart from a relatively minor paranormal aspect, it was more thriller than anything else. Which is good because I'm not a fan of UFO/alien themes. I tend to like movies which I go into without expectations, or with lowered expectations (think Transformers or Iron Man).

Headed to Wala later which was a 'law school minefield' (funnily enough his friend just graduated from NUS Law too...), where we met Marcus'...dad. It was like meet-the-Chins night or something, as we also met his mum and sister at the Cathay. The band playing was the same one Jin, Jorraine and I saw when we were supporting Steve at Gilman Village, they have a single out on radio now apparently. I don't listen to radio so I'll take their word for it. Not sure if it's 'Fiona' but they performed that one too.

Ran a buncha errands today (changed HK$ back to Sing, changed Sing to USD for big big end-of-year holiday, renewed gym membership, had a quickie workout) before meeting Cheryl at Nat Lib for The David Ives Project, a play by local under-25s primarily from AC and VJ, and starring one Jared Kok and one Andrea Loh. I felt that it got better as it progressed, but yeah Jared was very convincing as a washing machine loving lunatic and Andrea was hilarious as a... monkey. But I've learnt to never underestimate her - if the girl can be a barrister at Spinelli's for most of her Summer, she can do anything.

There were quite a number of law school peeps there, and we mingled for a bit before I left to meet my long-time-no-see friend in Orchard.

Meng. Who was indeed not dressed for town. But it was very nice to see him anyway, although it was for the shortest of times, after 10 whole months. As I said before, we'll try to have as much fun as can be had on this little island. Anyways, I need to go have supper now (I got home and then remembered that I had not had dinner, which is a very strange thing to forget, and shows you how preoccupied I've been).

So if you must falter, be wise

2008-07-25T10:50:00.000+08:00

Mmm Mmm Morton's!

2008-07-19T23:56:00.002+08:00

Title says it all. Yesterday, met Jin and Rachel at the Oriental and we proceeded to the strangely located Morton's (its a small gazebo at the foot of the hotel atrium) for the Martini Happy Hour. We were, of course, there for the (free) steak sandwiches as much as the martinis, although those were great too - potent. The sandwiches? Mmm. Succulent, slightly raw strips of steak in between two slices of heavenly bread, drenched in a slightly spicy sauce and the... beef juice (which sounds so vulgar but that's what it is no?). Mouth-watering and really good value for money.

After enduring the occasionally curt service, lack of seating space, and a Siberian thermostat, we drove to the Singapore Flyer area nearby to have dinner at what might as well have been a world away - Popeye's. I stand by the bread biscuit, although it requires copious dashes of jam and liberal drizzles of honey to detract from the dryness of it al.

Rachel left to meet her friends and we milled around City Hall till Tim and Rohai were available. Settling down in Soup Spoon to general merriment, gossip and laughter.

I went into fantasy world for a little bit in Orchard and ended the day a bundle of different feelings I am unable to process.

Today was Batman with Gerald, Lena and Jeff - the movie was alright. It must be all the hype and buzz that tampered my actual experience. Heath Ledger was undoubtedly great, the Joker was diabolical (I was afraid of him), and the plot was engaging enough. I felt that it plodded on unnecessarily.

Which is something I don't have the luxury of doing tonight as I have to be at the airport by 6.30 in the morning. Yes my friends, the long-awaited and much-changed and talked about Hong Kong trip is here, and while it has turned out looking very different from what I conceived initially, I will make the most of it and Rachel and I will have a blast =). See you all in 5 days, or once I figure out how to get wireless.

One Day

2008-07-17T21:39:00.004+08:00

Did more traveling today than I have in a while...

Bukit Batok - rather pathetic return to the wheel after more than half a year. Instructor: 'frankly speaking, you need a lot more practice.' Me: 'I know.' (test date is 26 Sep, how?)

Kent Ridge - lunch at some restaurant with a waiter on roller blades. Wishful and wistful thinking

Toa Payoh - books on HK from 'neighborhood library', which has plenty more options than the Nat Lib

Orchard - watching Jin being a teacher and writing plenty of 'see mes' and question marks on the papers of his hapless students, some of whom are damn lazy

City Hall - dinner with Jin, Rohai and Shu-ming, looking at photo shoots, laughing at model's comp cards, generally wishing I had the creative talent and style to be part of the fashion industry. Quote of the day from Shu-ming, while looking at comp cards: 'This one is ok, but she doesn't look high fashion... she looks this fashion'

Heartlanders and Heartbreakers

2008-07-15T16:04:00.002+08:00

I spent the weekend freelancing for a WDA roadshow in Toa Payoh, with the aim of encouraging older/less educated Singaporeans to upgrade their skills to advance their career. I didn't know what I was getting myself into - and it was really tiring - but I came out of those 2 days with a sombre new perspective of what many Singaporeans are going through.

On the first day, after spending the first few hours doing mindless 'clicking' (a rather primitive way to keep track of the number of people visiting the roadshow), I was asked to distribute flyers promoting the event. As if that was not enough, I had to wear - yes, wear - a billboard while doing so. Something I never, ever, thought I would do in my life. Jin summed it up nicely: 'who would have thought that Simon Huang, [insert various "achievements"], would be doing this?'

The only way I got through it without dying of humiliation was the knowledge that I was superior to these people (if you're expecting me to be all PC fuggedaboutit) in intellect, looks, dressing, and in just about every way imaginable. I'm not saying that I deserve to be on this planet more than they do, but let's call a spade a spade yeah?

In any case, what I witnessed was heartbreaking. When told what the event was about, many people simply remarked that they were too old to find work, or that even with upgraded skills, they were unable to find employment. It got worse the next day, when I was asked to do surveying instead (to get feedback from members of the public who had participated in the roadshow).

It was a terribly long 4-page survey, and when I asked for feedback on what could be improved, one of the most common responses was that there should be more employers present (there were several but I suspect many were just there in name, to attract a larger audience but not to really provide jobs to these people). MANY people were looking for jobs and the paucity of options at the roadshow (which was also being promoted as a venue with employers looking to hire) was disappointing to them.

Most of the 35 people I spoke to on the second day had no more than secondary or lower secondary education, and when asked about what their current occupation was, a couple even laughed sheepishly, as if embarrassed of what they were doing. I felt like telling them there was really nothing wrong with being a childcare teacher or a factory worker. One should never have to be ashamed of making an honest living.

And the terrible thing is that, many WERE already working and trying to upgrade their skills, but the system is still not working for them. One older woman was telling me that she was unable to sign up for the subsidized training (one needs to pay $65 instead of the alleged normal price of $650) because she had already been working in the industry for more than a year. Why should that be an impediment? When she told me that she had been a member of the union for 10 years and asked what the point of being a member was when she was unable to avail herself of these type of benefits, all I could do was wish her the best and say 'I hope you'll find a way to take the course', knowing full well that she would probably be unable to.

So the roadshow that was supposed to help these people sieved out many to begin with. While I think its better to have such events than none at all, they could really have had their audience in mind when planning - all the flyers were in English, as were all the signs on the various booths, and the DJ was blasting top 40 hits from Umbrella to Touch My Body. It all seemed well-intentioned but ill-conceived.

One aspect of the survey required them to state whether they agreed (from a scale of 1 to 5) with a series of statements, with the purpose of determining their attitudes to retraining and the like. Many were of the 'When I upgrade my skills, I am able to stay employable/find a job/adapt to changes at work' variety, and most people I spoke to either agreed or strongly agreed with the statements - I sincerely hope that they are not disappointed.

Of course there were lighter moments. For example, a women who used the survey to complain about the government, her rant ranging from the sort of 'dangerous' jobs they were offering Singaporeans to the fact that all the good jobs were being given to foreigners. When I asked what attracted her to the roadshow, her response was along the lines of 'I want to see how low the government wants Singaporeans to go'. And the icing on the cake? 'Eh you don't need my name right?' Classic Singaporean - complains only under the cover of anonymity.

What else what else? The lady who had to tell me repeatedly how she was taking a degree in tourism from TMIS, the old man who would say the most random things when I asked him the set list of survey questions, and milled around the event for several hours, later coming back to me to give an example of how something should have been done (as if I was the Minister-in-charge).

It was an unexpected and revealing weekend. And damn I'm tired of writing - so screwed when school starts, which is very soon =S

Uh Oh

2008-07-14T00:28:00.002+08:00

Why do I always go for the unattainable?

This Can't B Good!

It Was Good

2008-07-11T02:15:00.002+08:00

I took a risk and decided to 'live life' today, and it was so much more than I expected.

The Days Would Blend Cause We Stayed Up All Night

2008-07-10T14:50:00.006+08:00

I have a list of things-to-do during the holidays, and bar cycling at East Coast and Cafe Del Mar, the boxes have remained unchecked thus far. Karaoke with Jin, Cheryl and Sam was thwarted by other people who occupied all the rooms (small, medium AND large), and tennis yesterday was thwarted by, well, general laziness.

But what does one expect at the Lalwani household? By the time I arrived, Jin and Jess were tucking into yummy home-cooked Laksa followed by yoghurt and ice-cream (which I requested for but was denied). Predictably, any inclinations to go down and play were thwarted after that, and we traded sport for lying around in Jin's room, reading and laughing at his student's essays - no sorry, compositions - and just indulging in what I suppose is termed 'chilling', although it just felt like good old sloth to me.

Had to leave for dinner with Jon Phay and Shaun, which was an exercise in conversation and laughter, areas where I obviously am in my element. We traded gossip like, I don't know, the US and Israel share snippets of information on Iran. Not quite an appropriate analogy but I let the news on CNN today filter into my brain.

After dinner and ice cream at J Co, I went down to Orchard to meet Jeff and we bused to Bukit Timah where the familiar faces of Tong, Gerald, Josh Ee and Lena waited at Liquid Room, where we have become regular fixtures every Wednesday.

I knew it would be a bad idea, but we went ahead with pool instead of LAN. I'm not going to bother describing how abysmal I was because you really have to be there to witness my talents. Let's just say that while attempting to hit my own ball, the white ball ended up going down, along with two of my opponent's striped ones. As my teammate, Tong was none too pleased.

LAN was extremely addictive. I pride myself on not being a slave to computer games or consoles, but last night (or rather early this morning) was an entirely different story. The prospect of casting spells and wielding power proved irresistible, even if it was in a virtual world. We didn't quite succeed but there's always a next time.

By the time we finished breakfast, it was already 6.30. It felt surreal to be looking for a taxi to whiz us home to our beds when the usual hive of morning activity was already in motion - small children with huge bags trudging to school, shops at the market opening, cars moving in the direction of the expressway and town.

The light of day was piercing through the cloudy sky by the time I finally crawled into bed around 7.30 (quite possibly one of the fastest 12 hours of my life - I had trouble accounting for time), which is usually a shade before when I would be waking up if I had lessons at 9. The beauty of the holidays indeed.

And that was my Wednesday. While half of my world was probably at Zouk, I was happily ensconced in the past, doing the same things with the same people from so many years ago - and you know what, it was tremendous fun.

Exhausted

2008-07-09T13:49:00.001+08:00

I'm at the point of not caring, really.

For Jinesh

2008-07-07T13:46:00.002+08:00

Things will get better in time.